Work is kicking my ass. I appreciate feeling needed for the sake of job security. But dang, I can't doodle anymore. I used to sneak in an iPad for some rough sketches that I'd upload later to finish on my home PC. They've been calling me in earlier where rush hour traffic takes me an hour to get there now. Meaning -2 hours out of my day that I can't really draw. I get home, do some chores and errands, shower, fuck around on my phone in bed until I forget how I fell asleep. I haven't really had a day off recently. It's been so humid and over 100F every day. Not being able to skate either bummed me out as well. I was gifted new Mesmer skates for helping a friend move though I haven't skated them yet. I can't wait for late Autumn. Better weather, better sleep, more exercise, increased MPG, and more comfortable to draw. I also sold the Honda Prelude. I gave up on it lol. It was going to cost me $8,000 USD to rebuild it right. Too many dents, rare obscure parts, and annoying maintenance. A very awful liability with no positive outcome. I feel awful for giving up. It's sad to say I made more of a profit gambling in Vegas and my local Casino than whatever I spent on the Prelude. That curse is real. It causes relationship problems, financial hardships, scary car accidents, and even death. I don't care if you Honda nerds think it's fake and I'm using it as a scapegoat to avoid admitting the problems are caused by myself. Nah that car was actually cursed. 5 owners, expired tags, mysterious immobilizer problems shutting off the car mid drive to the point you can't shift into neutral. And all the tickets it accumulated for "looking fast". I lost interest in that car. It was like a vampire hypnotizing me. "Please, go in debt, fix me, I'll give you instagram clout and validation from strangers at car meets" What's even more cursed is that no matter how many times I've 3D scanned the car and couldn't ever get a clear scan for some reason. Even with tracking dots and non-reflective spray. It was divine intervention from God telling me to buy a little 150cc scooter and go bet on green at the casino. Look. Don't take financial advice from me. Anyways, I lost have my followers on instagram because I have been posting only about work and cars and not uploading any music. After some music projects, I'm going back to art.

Bruh... PLEASE. I only favorite whatever I see on the front page and log out. I don't really keep track of other artists. I don't speak to other artists that much. I don't have a favorite artist because everyone is good in their own way? Therefore, please don't ask me to favorite back if you faved me. If I faved something. It looked cute, dorky, stucc, or maybe just cool.

Also, I was told by someone they couldn't favorite me because "x artist" doesn't like me. Buddy, not many people like me because of my political stances, the absurd things I say on my streams, video calls, voice chats, group chats, channels, social media or like my art in general. That's okay. I'm fully aware not everyone likes me. So, I do my best to avoid them. The only weird ones are the ones that hate watch me or cyberstalk me, praying for my hardships, suffering and downfall. Which is weird. I don't have that kind of hate in my heart or memory capacity in my brain to remember what I was angry about. But what's weird is when someone new in the fandom goes, "I was told not to speak to you because _ said you're a terrible person" Blindly accepting any rumors or false allegations about anything I did as far as like 10 years ago??? LOL. Like weird things I vaguely remember about. Perhaps a meme, callout, or fist fight at a meet or something in my teens. Bruh, I don't even remember my driver's license being in my pocket. I lose keys. I forget to pick people up. I forget my employee ID, passcodes, passwords, where I parked, or if I drank water. How to get back home, burning my food. etc Trying my best to remember my followers. I keep mental images in my head of their fursonas, not names. When I get told a specific artist has beef with me for some odd reason, I probably forgot already. It happens so often, I mix up who it even was. I once went off on the wrong innocent person who had nothing to do with it. Silly me. I have so many traumas, fl studio projects, and allergies to actually care to remember what some artist was upset at me about. If you were saying something like, "aero southpaws is a menace to society he" *interrupts you with Default FL Studio 3XOSC noises* Aero Southpaws is a disgusting pers- *FL Studio Fruity Convolver* Aero is not to be tru- *FL Studio Harmor bassline* wooooo I can't hear you. My Fender strat into Amplitude is fucking too awesome to care about what I said on Tumblr in 2012.

AI is gonna take my IRL job

yall mind if I 🦡

Eh. Well, at least I get to keep my job. Making more than I ever did. But it's so team-oriented I can't sneak my way out of conversations, meetings, or be left alone to sneak in a drawing on printer paper. I don't want to get too comfortable bringing in my iPad. I've noticed others bring personal devices but I do my best not to have my phone out as much around my supervisors or look as if I'm not working. Not being able to draw multifur art is slowly killing me. Yeah, I always rant how I hate drawing and never want to draw. But I daydream and dissociate so bad about my characters. Filled with ideas. The 1hr commute there, 1hr commute back including running errands before arriving home, then showering, chores etc. I only have 40 minutes to 1hr and 30 mins average to draw. No more sitting in one spot having a 6-hr drawing session while watching documentaries on my super fucking wide monitor. No more time for personal projects that involve daylight or 3D printing since I can't wake up in the middle of the night to see if my print failed or needs adjustments. I require a minimum of 6 hours of sleep. This job isn't difficult but it really requires full attention when operating cars on a Dyno. Any mistake costs literal thousands and tests cannot be repeated same day. Therefore I cannot sneak in a doodle since I'm in a lab of 3-4 people all the time. Everyone's allowed to doomscroll and watch reels all day. Have air pods in and such. I, for the life of me cannot be comfortable wearing earbuds (I prefer fancy over-the-ear headphones but they look, "too distracting" which I'm like what) Not being able to voice chat sucks. Wearing gloves most of the time doesn't let me use my fingerprint to unlock my phone to read messages quickly. The passcode is difficult to press with certain gloves. Most importantly I can't open Twitter, Discord, FurAffinity or IMs because of freaky art. Instagram barely seems tame when my algorithm is poisoned with racist and edgy reels. Besides that, I miss drawing very much. It is my escapism. Even if it stresses me out. It's the closest thing I can do to visualize and explain my characters. Though I lose motivation seeing lots of un-AI drawing filters on social media. Or AI generated art in general. A lot of non-artists cannot differentiate what's genuine or not. And it's progressively getting more consistent. I have been messing around with Google Gemini for hyper-reallism and memes, it's VERY consistent. Scary accurate and if you use enough prompts and set the lighting and compositioning right, it's criminal. This generation is cooked because AI porn will be insanity in a few years. I was able to make hyper realistic versions of my characters and multifurry realism with such accuracy. It understands conjoinment and is even aware of my own art and existence. I recently found out Meta admit it used my art for reference, pissed off yet flattered. Hence why I quit commissions for good when anyone can AI generate what they want. It's pushing me towards animation more. We aren't at the stage of AI animation shading in or blending key frames for animation yet. Or the tedious reputation in both 2D and 3D animation. Give it 10 more years. But I'm also afraid how AI will take more jobs or careers. Nobody needs a graphic designer anymore. 90% of rave posters and music festival posters I've seen are AI. Consultants over Telephone are AI. My voicemail is AI assisted. My 3D prints are strengthened structurally by AI. Our work competitors are using AI. Drive thrus, self checkouts, contactless online order pickups, insurance claims, etc. are starting to use less people. It's sad yet convenient. I hate that the most insufferable people like real estate agents and car salesmen aren't becoming automated as much or contactless. (No offense if you're one of them. You probably earn enough to retire and not feel threatened about job security.) But dang, attorneys, therapists, doctors, and other careers are starting to become automated. It was bound to happen. I'm worried and not ready for change. The thought of owning a house is starting to fade away. Who knows when I'll actually finish building my race car as my favorite race tracks are closing down. And the price of shit right now???? Bleh.

That is all.

I should had seen it coming. From what began as a rough start introducing ourselves. To becoming close friends and passionate about our ideas. A friendship that lasted many years. A person I was once close to. It came to an end that we parted ways. Therefore, I'm writing this journal to express how hurt I am. Normally, if it's somebody else, I simply block and move on. But this was somebody that almost felt like a family member to me. That feeling slowly began to degrade overtime. How excited I was to mention any idea I had, rough sketches, art I wouldn't post anywhere else. To even sharing my personal life situations, access to my social media accounts, etc. I really trusted this person so much. How comfortable I was around them. The countless hours we've spent over VC, or even hiding during work to call and see how they're doing. Every silly and serious message, no matter what time, I put them in a higher priority than most. In case there was ever an emergency. Times I was frightened, sleepless not knowing if they were not okay, or hurt. Or if I ever offended them. Could not hold a grudge or relinquish anger towards them. I am saddened to say this person felt like a cool cousin or nephew to me. Regardless of CJ art and all. We never even discussed the topic of CJ or anything like that. Not often have I met a person that wanted to get to know me outside of the art. I genuinely wanted to know more about them too. To see them succeed and prosper. Only to come to a realization that trauma bonding is not a healthy method of befriending someone. There are times I wish I never met them as I opened up too much and making the mistake to ever meeting them. Not that I ever impacted their life. But if I could reverse the trauma and arguments, I've inflicted upon them. How much time would have been saved if we never met. I know you're reading this. I don't have to say your name. I hope I never have to say your name again. Often, strangers don't hurt my feelings. But he definitely did. It hurts when its someone you've once cared about. I still care about you. But it's best we never speak again after what you did to me. Sometimes, I would feel the need to cry and have an emotional breakdown and such when this happens with somebody I would care about. But now... I feel hollow. You were the least expected person to do so. Whether it was intentional or not. Surprised, confused, and disappointed. If only you told me sooner, this friendship could had ended sooner. I don't hate you. But just know, I'm very hurt. Obviously, it would be difficult to avoid each other online and all. Regardless of blocking and leaving certain groups. Just know this. It's serious this time. Please don't ever speak to me again. And no, no need for an apology. It's best I simply avoid you for the rest of my life. Save yourself the stress, no need to redeem yourself or prove anything. It was my decision doing this. Save yourself the headache and out of respect do the same.

.w.

"And act like I don't know nobody"
🦈

Dear Diary.

These hoes aren't loyal.
I ate too much pumpkin pie and going to explode. Yes, I made this to add more junk to your FA notifications.


Sincerely,

Aero Southpaws.

Dear Diary.

These hoes aren't loyal.
I ate too much pumpkin pie and going to explode. Yes, I made this to add more junk to your FA notifications.


Sincerely,

Aero Southpaws.

Got my dream job.... But. The commute is meh and the pay is meh. Hurray I am finally in the automotive industry. Coworkers are chill. I get a long with everyone, no aggressive micro-managing, perks, etc. I just wish I could go in later or sooner. 9am has the worst f*cling traffic. Sometimes making a 12 minute drive into an hour depending on what construction or accident going on. That's California for you. Anyways. It's a mix of laboratory work and physical labor. It sucks because there's days I actually get drenched in sweat, feeling gross. Then days there isn't much happening and I have to be very sanitary before entering this specific room. I'm currently being trained so I don't ever pull my phone out nor want to. It's way better than when I used to work at Boeing. On the side, I've put my 3D printing business on halt. Can't 3D scan cars in the dark. Day light savings ruined the chance to let me work on my car since it's completely dark when I get home. I have many regrets buying that Prelude. It's all electrical problems. Because its an obscure Honda they don't make anymore, it's impossible to find parts for it. My current ECU and immobilizer are done for since the previous owner messed it all up. After I get it running and body work done, debating on selling it. It's a headache. This is why I haven't been drawing lately. Besides that, I had a huge Amazon book project I was supposed to be doing with nerdawaykid. Hopefully my schedule can change where I can draw more on weekends. 🦡🦡🦡🦡

Rasorak has been set as my gmail profile picture for an eternity and my fursona name was set as my gmail name. I had no clue this whole time people have been seeing it. I guess it synced by accident or something but holy shit I've been messaging the president of the company and higher management with that name and furry profile pic. I'm cooked guys.

I guess somebody IRL doxxed someone with revenge porn and they've infiltrated FA with small links to straight up IRL 🤢 cub 🌽 all in German. A god forbidden language almost as bad as French. Do not click or interact on those pages. No warnings you get flash banged on the front page.

If I faved your art. I either think it's cursed, hilarious, or I genuinely like it. FA screenshots can be a meme gold mine or freaky fetish fuel. Guess you have to decide what I consider funny.

Crazy how people report your art for everything possible even though Dragoneer himself favorited my art. A coincidence that somebody comments on my journal and within seconds apart my posts are reported.

I'm hungry as fuck. Gonna draw more. Reach test.

So. I've quit taking commissions for good. Machine learning is incredible now that Meta can basically make furry art better than I can. Therefore, I'm done taking commissions for good. Why? Long ago, I had an IDIOT FRIEND that I no longer associate with, have drama with one of my commissioners. You know the Jared Fogle allegations, he rizzes up roblox players, "he touched me inappropriately", this guy is a cub kisser, groomer, IRL babyfur etc. Horrible stuff. My dumba** started to believe as he showed me altered screenshots of the person he didn't like. Of course, boomer me not doing any kind of research. I said "Eww" and went along with it. Turns out that guy just made false accusations out of spite. Which I'm like WTF?!?! I won't disclose the artists wrongfully accused. But the guy doing this is named StoatedandGoated. He may go by many aliases on Discord and Telegram. Pretty sure his fursona is a stoat. I was in the middle of a stream when this happened that went straight up into a doxxing sexual offenders speedrun. We were just randomly searching sex offenders, furry criminals, livestreaming their houses, finding intersection cameras of their houses on IPcam websites. Doing the most diabolical stuff. But then told me an artist he didn't like was "one of them". Wrongly accused, he went on his QAnon tangent. Imagine a low- test version of Alex Jones with no chin. Overtime, found out that stoat guy is legit crazy. He was right half the time with the accusations and did pull up their sexual assault allegations, etc. Thinking wow, this terminally online dude must be a real private investigator or something since this MF knows where my HOUSE is. MY LICENSE PLATE, FULL GOVERNMENT NAME AND ALL MY INSTAGRAM STORIES. BRUH I was starting to think this guy was legit an actual CIA badger myself. He had a lot of leverage on me since he doxxed me with IRL pics snagged off my instagram. So of course, I believed him too. The only person who would know the most about me is nerdawaykid and he wouldn't ever. He's a sweetheart and basically my IRL cousin. And yes, after all the allegations, I fucked up. I'm never going on a doxxing spree again. I've burned bridges. Actually, disgusted that a lot of the random furries on facebook that I am friends with are.... uh. Criminals. From sex offender list to battery, theft, etc. Public records etc. StoatedandGoated. Whatever you want to go by these days. You're a menace. I've burned bridges because of you and now I have to take full accountability. You've had my FA banned for a while. I couldn't even dispute things. This guy makes burner emails, burner accounts, bypasses captchas, has hundreds of bots. This man even viewbotted my soundcloud. Socially engineered me. I have room temperature IQ, of course I believe everything I see on the internet. But besides that. Because I've stopped taking commissions all together, I will finish up everything I owe.

I've recently created an aftermarket car parts and accessories business. I'm registered as a non-trader, so consumer rights stemming from EU consumer protection laws don't apply. I only sell in the 48 States of North America and Canada atm. Holy crap a real business. Hopefully I can learn how to right off equipment I use. I've started dabbling in types of plastics. I am learning how to make carbon fiber parts ATM. We're building 2 racecars. The most expensive paperweight I have right now is my 5th Gen Prelude. It's been sitting and has vines all over it. Sad! Recently, Epic Games inspected my portfolio and gave me the okay to make video game assets now. It's more peaceful to deal with that than to upset furry commissioners. I've started contributing my 3D models to machine learning algorithms with Sketchfab and Nvidia. Crazy stuff. I will still draw. But for myself. And for those that want to make a big Twitter announcement like Eggman about my drama. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST THE FURRY LION WHO DIED ON THE CROSS. BATHE, GO OUTSIDE, EXERCISE, STOP AND BEING TERMINALLY ONLINE. I get you love simping for niche micro e-celebrities but DAMN. Stop falling for little proxy wars and being part of their echo chamber. To my haters. Brush your teeth. Exfoliate, perhaps shave those eyebrows. Maybe a Korean skincare routine and maybe your Monster Hunter Poogie shaped mother may give you a kiss on the forehead since you love incest so much. Anyways. If this personally attacked you, my presence isn't for the faint-hearted. Guys, if you really know me, none of this applies to you. There are two kinds of people that follow me. Those who beat their schmeat to oblivion as my subliminal softcore yiff somehow hypnotizes them into stimming where they can't physically move, giving you your daily dose of brainrot. And people who genuinely care for me and appreciate my company, vice versa. No, I'm not doing a grammar check. I don't use ChaptGPT.

But anyways, I'm back. Enemies, go away, I will ignore you.