“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -- Dr Seuss

here goes nothing... this has been a hard year, and I've been hiding it from most everyone. My health problems have gotten worse, trips to the ER and emergency root canal from a dentist who did not take my insurance. Crazily my regular dentist died and went with the recommended one. Big mess

My bills have doubled, I have the stress of loved ones over seas for this war, money is super tight ($36 to last a week), it just keeps getting worse. Yes, I have a job; however I work a 4 day week due to my health. Yes, I have a vehicle and it has gas, a roof over my head, and food in my belly. Still I need help. I looked into gov't help, I make $100 too much to be eligible. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm just so worn out and feel defeated, there will be no Christmas. my joy has been sucked dry. most of my debt is from helping others, and obviously they seem to forget to pay me back. I love the line "well it was a "gift" I owe you nothing" and thus my dilemma...

I'm just asking for a listening ear to get this all out.

if you feel so inclined my paypal is karl11971[at]msn.com

Wishes of peace, joy, and love is all I can send this Christmas. Thanks for listening.

what a wonderful night. One of my best friends is engaged and he asked me to be part of the wedding party. *squee!

March 2 will be my 40th birthday irl. Wondering if anyone would be interested in doing some art? I know birds aren't a favorite of most furry artists. Thought I'd throw it out to my friends list. Not asking for free/gift art, I am willing to pay for it. Let me know.

pollypuma is having a contest for babyfurs only. One winner will get a free collar and paci holder. See this journal for details:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2982608/

"Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver then you believe, and stronger then you seem, and smarter then you think."

Christopher Robin to Pooh

"you don't need me like _____ does." I've heard this 10 times in 10 mo. What does this mean? Does everyone think I don't need anyone? Is it even worth trying to get a brofur, Papa fur, or even a mate? Just because you think I don't "need" you, doesn't mean I don't "want" you to be a part of my life.

1. Favorite Season - Summer, Winter, Fall or Spring?
2. Vegetarian - Yes or No?
3. Morning Person or Nightowl?
4. Left-Handed or Right-Handed?
5. Cat Lover or Dog Lover?
6. Salty before Sweet or Sweet before Salty?
7. What do you drive - Automatic or Manual?
8. Chocolate or Vanilla?
9. Socks or No Socks?
10. Favorite Position - Top or Bottom?
11. Zodiac Sign?
12. Coke or Pepsi?
13. Favorite Fast Food Resaurant?
14. Favorite Color?
15. Favorite NFL Team?
16. Favorite Fetish?
17. Fetish you'd like to try?
18. Favorite Curse Word?
19. First reaction when Orgasm hits you?
20. Craziest place you had sex in public?
21. Happiness or Riches?
22. What's the last thing you think about before going to sleep?
23. What's the first thing you think about when you wake up?
24. Is it nice to be important or important to be nice?
25. What's the top item on your "bucket list"?
26. Does Karma exist?
27. Favorite outfit to see your partner wearing?
28. Oral - Give First or Receive First?
29. Which comes first for you - Passion or Arousal?
30. When and how did you discover you had kink in you?

stolen from fireorca62

-almost died twice
-a dozen scars all requiring stitches
-3 surgeries
-3 car accidents
-$20,000 debt thanks to furs/ABs who said they loved me (will soon have to move back with parents)
-getting lost in a mall
-getting lost in the woods
-raped twice
-getting the shit beat outta me quite a few times
-2 major medical conditions

Now can I have a boring life???

stolen from sulli


Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? ---Yes
Been arrested? ---no
Kissed someone you didn't like? ---Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? ---Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? ---Yes
Ran a red light? ---Yes
Been suspended from school? ---Yes
Experienced love at first sight? ---yes
Totalled your car in an accident? --- yes
Been fired from a job? ---Yes
Fired somebody? ---yes
Sang karaoke? ---Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? ---Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ---Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ---Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? ---Yes
Kissed in the rain? ---Yes
Had a close brush with death (your own)? ---Yes
Seen someone die? ---Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? ---no
Sang in the shower? ---Yes
Smoked a cigar? ---no
Sat on a rooftop? ---yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ---Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ---Yes
Skipped school? ---no
Eaten a bug? ---Yes
Sleepwalked? --yes
Walked a moonlit beach? ---yes
Ridden a motorcycle? ---Yes
Dumped someone? ---Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? ---yes
Lied to avoid a ticket? ---Yes
Ridden on a helicopter? --- yes
Shaved your head? ---no
Blacked out from drinking? ---no
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? ---yes
Felt like killing someone? ---Yes
Cross-dressed? ---no
Been falling-down drunk? ---no
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? ---Yes
Eaten snake? ---no
Marched/Protested? ---yes
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ---yes
Puked on amusement ride? --- yes
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- yes
Been in a band? --- no
Knitted? --no
Been on TV? ---Yes
Shot a gun? ---Yes
Skinny-dipped? ---yes
Caused someone to need stitches? ---Yes
Ridden a surfboard? ---no
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? ---no
Had surgery? ---Yes
Streaked? ---yes
Taken by ambulance to hospital? ---yes
Passed out when not drinking? ---Yes
Peed on a bush? --- Yes
Donated Blood? ---Yes
Grabbed electric fence? ---yes
Eaten alligator meat? ---yes
Eaten cheesecake? ---Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? ---Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? ---Yes
Peed your pants in public? ---Yes
Written graffiti? ---no
Still love someone you shouldn't? ---yes
Think about the future? ---yes
Been in handcuffs? ---Yes
Believe in love? ---Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ---Yes

• Where are you staying?
The Doubletree. yay faw fwee cookies!

• What day are you getting there and when are you leaving? im going the 23 and leavin the 26th full con ya!

• Who will you be rooming with? my friend Mit

• What is your gender? male

• How old are you? irl: 39 fursona:3

• Can I talk to you? yes of course

• Can I touch you? yes

• Are you friendly? I think so

• Can I hang out with you? yes please!

• Are you taken? not at the present time

• Do you do free art? no

• Do you do trades? no

• Will you take commissions? no

• How can I find you? look for the guy with a pengy shirt , or in the cub hub

• Can I buy you drinks? if you mean soda or juice feel free, medically I can't have adult beverages


• Can I buy you food? if ya wanna

• Can I give you money? yes

• Who else is going? um a lotsa friends and furmily

Borrowed fron Tavi

- Name: Penjamin Thurgood Rockhopper, Penji
- Single or taken: single
- Sex: Male
- Birthday: March 2nd
- Sign: pisces
- Hair color: Brown
- Eye color: Brown
- Height: 5'10"
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay? gay
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: Gap, Old Navy
- Favorite designer: Disney, life is good
- What is your sexiest outfit?: Shirt, Diaper, and Overalls
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: Overalls, Tee, and Padding
- What do you usually wear?: Shirt, Diaper, and jeans
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • S P E C I F I C S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: pert
- What are you listening to right now?: TV
- Who is the last person that called you?: Mike
- How many buddies are online right now? 14 ____________________________________________________________________________

• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Food: Peanut Butter, mac and cheese, goldfish crackers, fish sticks
- Girls' names: Bethany, Margaret, Julia
- Boys' names: Ethan, Kyler, Joshua
- Subjects in school: Art, music
- Animals: Penguins, foxes, wolves
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Given anyone a bath?: yes
- Smoked?: no
- Bungee jumped?: No
- Made yourself throw up?: Yes
- Skinny dipped?: Yes
- Ever been in love?: Yes
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes
- Pictured your crush naked?: uh huh....*blushes*
- Actually seen your crush naked?: yeppers
- Cried when someone died?: Yes...
- Lied: Yes... for a good reason
- Fallen for your best friend?: I have
- Used someone?: I hope not
- Done something you regret? yes
____________________________________________________________________________

• × • C U R R E N T • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- Clothes: jeans and a tee
- Desktop picture: newest Tavi Tag
- CD in player: Asian lullabies
- DVD in player: none

____________________________________________________________________________

• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •
____________________________________________________________________________

- You touched: George
- Hugged: george
- You kissed: mom
- You IMed: Jerry, doug, Mike
- Talk to online: Jerry
- You sexed it up with: ???
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • A R E | Y O U • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Understanding?: Yes
- Open-minded?: to the most
- Arrogant?: Try not to be
- Insecure?: *clings to his blankie and suckles his thumb*
- Random?: dont get me started
- Hungry? at times
- Smart? I manage
- Moody?: in a cubby way
- Organized?: Try to be
- Shy?: at times *blushes*
- Difficult?: Try not to be
- Bored easily?: VERY
- Obsessed?: Definitely
- Angry?: nah
- Happy?: Usually
- Hyper?: VERY
- Trusting?: Try to be
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • R A N D O M • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- In the morning I: wake up
- Love is: a grand thing
- I dream about: age regression, playtime,
- Sexual preference: guys
- What do you notice first in the sex you're into: eyes
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • ×
___________________________________________________________________________

- Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
- Flowers or candy: flowers
- Tall or short: tall

___________________________________________________________________________

• × • W H O • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Makes you laugh the most: can't narrow that down
- Makes you smile: someone that smiles back
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her:Tag ___________________________________________________________________________

• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: I have
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: mmmm no
- Wish you were younger?: of course
- Cry because someone said something to you? A couple of times.
___________________________________________________________________________

• × • N U M B E R • × •
___________________________________________________________________________

- Of times I have had my heart broken?: some
- Of guys I've kissed: 3
- Of girls I've kissed:3
- Of Cd's I own: lost count
- Of scars on my body: 12

find me on RUPadded and FetLife as Penguinboy

clicky clicky on the linky. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1977650/

Barrowed from bazzcollie bazzcollie

STUFFS ABOUT YOU --

*Name:Penjamin Thurgood Rockhopper
*Nicknames: Pengy, Penji, Turtle, Scoober, Tigger
*Zodiac Sign: Pisces
*Eye Color: Brown
*Hair color: Brown
*Height: 6'
*Weight: 200
*Someone you look like: I dunno


*Right or Left Handed: Left
*Right or Left Footed: Left
*Sexual Orientation: gay
*Piercings/Tattoos:None
*How many siblings: 1
*Pets: 1 ferret
*Could you make a dollar in change right now?: yes

FAVORITE…
*Kind of pants: overalls
*Number: 7
*Color: purple
*Animal: penguins
*Drink: Juicy Juice
*Sports: soccer, kickball
*Juice: strawberry Melon
*Cartoon Character: Tigger, CARS
*Scent: Play Doh, Lavendar
*Time of the Day: Morning
*Car: Equinox

HAVE YOU EVER…?
*Bungee Jumped?: nope
*Sky Dived?: no
*Made yourself throw-up?: yes
*Gone skinny dipping?: yes
*Eaten a dog?: hot dog
*Ever liked somebody that you didn’t have a chance with?: yes
*Been in a mosh-pit?: no
*Been on radio/television?: yes
*Been in a porno?: no
*Been high?: no
*Been drunk?: no
*Been on a plane?: yes
*Came close to dying?: a few times
*Been in a sauna?: yes
*Been in a hot-tub?: yes
*Swam in the ocean?: yes
*Fallen asleep in school?: yes
*Run away?: yes
*Run-away from home?: yes
*Fell off your chair?: most yes
*Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call?: yes
*Saved MSN/AIM conversations?: yes
*Saved e-mails?: yes

DO YOU…?
*Like to eat?: yep
*Like talking on the phone? yes
*Care if different foods touch together on your plate?: not at all
*Get motion sick?: alot, but not on roller coasters... odd
*Eat healthy?: sometimes
*Have an addiction to anything?: yes
*Call people names often?: yes, but nice names I use hunny alot
*Dream in color?: yes
*Have a strange/bad habit?: yes
*Get turned on easily? no
*Like your school/job?: yes
*Like filling out stupidly-long surveys like this one?: at times, yes

WHAT IS/WHAT ARE…?
*Your good luck charm: my pet rock
*Your theme song: Sunshiney Day by the Brady Bunch
*The last thing you played with: BB-big bear
*The last thing you ate: full turkey dinner
*Items sitting next to you: pillow, blankie, binky, bunny
*The color of your underwear: white with firetrucks
*Your greatest fear(s): loss, loneliness
*A strange food you eat: PB and Bacon
*A strange drink you like: mix chocolate, strawberry, and white milk
*The last thing to sleep in your bed: my plushies
*Under your bed: killer dust bunnies
*Your funniest memory: uhhhhh, get back to ya on that ^^
*The time you usually go to bed: midnight

EVER HAD…
*Chicken pox: yes
*Stitches: yes
*Surgery: yes
*A broken bone: no
*Love at first sight: yes

THIS OR THAT…
*Scary or Funny Movies: funny
*Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
*Root Beer or # Both, tough call
*Skiing or Snowboarding: neither
*Summer or Winter: winter

RANDOM!!!
*Dogs or Cats: cats
*Favorite Flower: sunflower
*Have you ever fired a gun?: yes
*Do you prefer travel by plane or car?: plane
*How many pillows do you sleep with?: 3+
*Obsessive Compulsive?: sometimes
*Diseases?: no
*Disorders?: a few
*Good Driver?: yeppers
*Good Singer?: I get by
*Do you own a lava-lamp?: no
*Do you prefer your toilet paper over-and-out or back-and-under: over-and-out
*How many kids do you want?: 4
*What will you name them? Aidan, Kyler, Ethan, Noah
*Bothered that some questions have “:”s and others have “?”s?: no
*Ever been in a fight with your pet? yes, and I win
*What book are you reading now? none
*Interesting turn-on or fetish: none
*First thing you notice visually about someone of the opposite gender: hair
*Foods that you LOVE: chocolate, pasta
*That you HATE: red meat

Well it was a fun time at AC. Shout outs to all the new friends I've made and to those I reconnected with. Great to see y'all and thinking about maybe going to MFM...

looking forward to my first AC and hope to finally meet some of the furs I talk to. Anything you can do to fill me in on this new experience will be helpful, thanks

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

Kissed any one of your Furaffinity friends? — yes

Been arrested? — no

Kissed someone you didn't like? — yup

Slept in until 5 PM? — Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school? — Yes.

Held a snake? — yes

Ran a red light? — yes

Been suspended from school? — no

Experienced love at first sight? — yep

Totaled your car in an accident? — twice

Been fired from a job? — yes

Fired somebody? — yes

Sung karaoke? — yes

Pointed a gun at someone? — no

Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — Yup

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — yesl

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — Yup

Kissed in the rain? — yes

Had a close brush with death (your own)? - twice

Saw someone die? — yep

Played Spin-the-Bottle? — no

Smoked a cigar? — no

Sat on a rooftop? — yes

Smuggled something into another country? —yup

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — yup

Broken a bone? — No

Skipped school? — yep

Eaten a bug? — there yummy

Walked on a moonlit beach? — more then once. its very calming

Ridden a motorcycle? — yes

Dumped someone? — Yes

Forgotten your anniversary? —no

Lied to avoid a ticket? — yes

Ridden in a helicopter? — yes

Shaved your head? — no

Blacked out from drinking? — No

Played a prank on someone? — Yes

Hit a home run? — yes

Felt like killing someone? — Yes

Cross-dressed? — no

Been falling-down drunk? — no

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — yes

Eaten snake? — no

Marched/Protested? — yes

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — yes

Puked on an amusement ride? — yes

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — Yes

Knitted? — NO

Been on TV? — Yes

Shot a gun? — Yes

Skinny-dipped? — Yes

Given someone stitches? — yep

Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — no

Ridden a surfboard? — no

Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — no

Had surgery? — yes a few times

Streaked? — yes

Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — yes

Tripped on mushrooms? — no no and no

when NOT drinking? — see above

Peed on a bush? — fun fun

Donated Blood? — yes

Grabbed electric fence? — yes

Eaten alligator meat? — No

Eaten cheesecake? — Yup.

Killed an animal when not hunting? — yes

Peed your pants in public? — yes

Snuck into a movie without paying? — yes

Written graffiti? — no

Still love someone you shouldn't? — yes

Think about the future? — yes

Been in handcuffs? — Yes

Believe in love? — Yes

bungee jump? - no

drowned? - no

kicked some guy in his jewels? - yes

ever had suicidal thoughts? - Yup.

Well things seem to be getting back to normal here. After 6 weeks the Governor has signed a bill and we'll finally get our back pay and and a regular paycheck starting this week.

On a sad note my Kia Paige has lost her battle with adrenal disease, I buried her Tuesday night in her favorite blanket. R.I.P. my little one and see you on the other side of the rainbow bridge.

My friend is home from Iraq for 16 days, and i may get to see him.

All in all, for every negative there is a positive, and thanks to all who've been there for me through this all.

Love and hugs to all.

I paid for 2 badges on Aug 5 2008. As of yet I have gotten nothing but "I know" when I ask about my commissions. It's been almost year, am I out of line to ask for my money back or give me what I paid for? I feel I've been overly generous here and I'm getting screwed. What would you do? And if I do ever get my badges, you can bet I'll never do business with this guy again. I'll take the high road and not name him, but he seems to have a lot of time to do work for himself and his mate over the last year. I was brought up in a business before pleasure world, apparently things have changed.