Its not the democrat's fault. SNAP has been funded through prior government shutdowns and hasn't been defunded in the whole 60 years of its life. This is a result of the republican administration suddenly changing policy. https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles.....100456659.html

The Hetero Awesomeness festival was a butt-smashing success.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YNqu5jLCKQ

Just a reminder that fighting AI content theft can be grass roots. Use programs like nightshade to poison artwork uploads, or do what I do and run a journal where you post crap you filter through a markov generator.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTqlSunIolI

This youtube video talks about how to poison the well without degrading your art content.

Her account seems totally deactivated. Any idea what's going on?

If I remember my (excessive) porn consumption right, the femdom stuff I nibble on is almost always from the guy's fantasy-land. You know, women in lingerie and a corset, that kind of thing. But if the woman is dominant, shouldn't she be wearing whatever she wants? Yeah, some women are all about corsets when domming, but I imagine a decent number would also prefer wearing a cardigan and some pajama bottoms. Wouldn't it be even more demeaning or emphasizing the submission if the woman just didn't care about wearing clothes to turn the guy on?

//This was tongue in cheek, btw. I totally get porn is about viewer so this isn't a real criticism, but I figured it was a funny observation.

Why am I non-binary?

I've spent much of my life trying to understand myself from a gender perspective, and to this day I've been unable to do so. For me, being non-binary is a conscious choice to ignore the man/woman dichotomy. Being non-binary is not a place of comfort or satisfaction, but rather the least painful place to be. In other words, given the choice between man or woman, they both hurt for different reasons and so I choose not to choose.

I reside within a male body. Some days I can accept this and ignore it. Other days I can't even bring myself to look into the mirror. For me, my hands and feet are too big--they feel like they belong on a clown. My body hair gives me no end of obsession, my face is too angular, I'm too tall and my hips are too small. I look in the mirror and I see Rigel from Farscape. If you've ever seen pictures of me (or me in person), you probably think I'm exaggerating--I agree that from a logical standpoint I do not look like Rigel the 16th, but emotionally I *feel* like I do, so conceptually this is not an exaggeration. For these reasons I cannot identify as a man, it isn't what I feel in my soul and a masculine body is a prison for me.

I wish I could be in a female body. In my dreams I'm normally a woman. When I have a choice of presentation--such as in a video game--I choose a female avatar. I tend to ignore games where my character has to have male markers (like voice). Given all this, you'd think I'd identify as a woman--but I don't. I will never have the money to get my facial and body hair taken care of, and even laser isn't guaranteed permanent. I will always be tall, my hips will always be slim. My face will always be angular, and my hands and feet will always be large. I will never look like the woman I want to be, and so femininity is the forbidden fruit that I will never taste. Whenever I dress and work towards a feminine figure, all I see are the male markers that my body possesses and so I feel like I'm just playing pretend.

I'd love to be a woman, and a decent part of that, for me, would be external validation of that. Someone who could support me and tell me my self image is wrong, but I feel I'm too much of a headcase to deserve such a person. Even if I did have such a person, I can't guarantee it'd help--I'm contrarian so even if they tell me I'm beautiful from a point of honesty, inwardly I'd question the honesty of their assurances. I have attempted to find a significant other, and I try to this day, but I self sabotage--sometimes my negative feelings are just so overwhelming that even the mere act of talking to a prospective boyfriend hurts and so I isolate and curl up in my own little cocoon.

I'm non-binary because my other choices are too painful, and there is no hope in my heart to ever make any of those choices bearable.

I'm sorry for the angst. I just needed to write this somewhere.

Two people within my extended circle of contacts have now died of this disease. On top of that, I have a family member who works at one of the longterm care facilities in the neighborhood. They've managed to keep their residents free of this disease, but that can only last so long--One nursing around here is in the midst of infection, another has already been pummeled with 10 deaths.

Thus far nobody in my family has gotten covid-19--We're all being pretty aggressive about quarantine and my local area hasn't seen infection peak yet--but as this 'reopen the country' craze continues, our ability to stay isolated is being degraded, and as infection rates re-peak the healthcare resources will become scarce again. Its only a matter of time before my immediate family is hit and virtually every one of us has existing issues that make the chances of one or more people within my close family dying a terrifying possibility.

I honestly fear that me or my family will become sacrifices on the Dow Jones Altar by Trump & Co.

Depression

Depression is confusing.

To understand it, you must first dissolve yourself of the idea that one can see depression when experiencing it. Rather, the mind-state you are in at any given moment is not a lens, its not something you experience, its something you are. When you are depressed, you are the depression.

And like any other state of being, sometimes you can introspect and realize that you're depressed, but other times it is so all consuming its invisible to you. You exist in a sea of depression, and without reference this feels normal. You look out upon everything beyond your sea and wonder how others are capable of joy, of accomplishment... and all you can understand is that difference, not that their sea is different from yours.

Depression is all consuming.

Its a beast that you become, but its not a beast that lashes out at others, but rather a beast that lashes out at itself. You tell yourself you're incapable of achieving what others achieve. You tell yourself that you cannot accomplish life, and that state of being depressed reinforces itself. You feel helpless, you tell yourself you are helpless, and soon enough you truly are helpless.

Depression is deceptive.

People who aren't depressed can cry. The inverse of this is that people who are depressed can laugh. Because its a state of being, it establishes your baseline. Sometimes you're above that surface, sometimes your below it. You can convince yourself things are normal because sometimes you act of feel okay. But your baseline is below that of others.

When you don't realize you're depressed, you act in ways that make no sense to yourself. Sometimes you can rationalize your thoughts and feelings ex post facto, but other times your actions, words, and thoughts just lack any coherence and rationality. This confusion breeds worry, this sense of being helpless to these bestial things makes you feel all the more helpless. And though you might be above the surface sometimes, they seem increasingly fleeting.

When you're up, you dissociate and can't comprehend ever being down. When you're down you can't comprehend ever being up.

When the depression is at its lowest, that's when you're the most helpless, and most in need of help. But what help is there for you when you are the beast beneath the surface?

That is depression.

Hihi all!

I've created the company Jovian Dragon Designs to sell jewelry and outdoor gear I make. n.n

You can buy my stuff here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JovianDragonDesigns

At the moment I have one item posted, a pride colored survival bracelet. Its my test item to check and make sure I have everything set up. Once it sells, I can make sure my math is good and open the floodgates on product.

Totally!

I think I'll try to make that a priority tonight. I'll try and compose some pics of my pink dragoness in her pony play gear on SL. <3 I hope I remember!

I want nothing to do with you.

I'm going to stop watching anyone I see who is a trump supporter. I want nothing to do with the despicables in our midst.

Camp Cruuuuu!

TL;DR: Don't.

Proper version:
This article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danie.....b_5268202.html is claiming that Truvada is an anti-HIV miracle drug. In short, it isn't. The dude's statistics are made up, he cites a single study (and if you know me you should know that a single study is never definitive) and I fully expect that people who take him at his word are at a much higher risk of *dying* because of him.

Yet I can't post that information to HP because of their stupid commenting policy requiring my facebook data. It's not so much that I don't want to give them my facebook data, but that I don't want to give them my email address. I trust HP about as far as I can throw them, both as an information source and with my contact info.

Here's the comment I tried to make:

"Be extremely careful getting health advice from non-professional sources like this. Here are two Truvada studies:
http://www.sfaf.org/hiv-info/hot-to.....ication_detail
http://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJMoa1202614
The first is the one this article cites, and contrary to this article's 99%, it's actually 73% if you're religious about taking your pills. (Total prevention of new infections was 44% compared to control).
The second one focused on women instead of gay men and showed similar adherence to the daily pill schedule, but no significant difference in infection rates. These results run contrary to another study that showed women did benefit from Truvada, but where adherence rates were 88%. This indicates that the pill *does* effect men and women differently and women have to take more to gain any benefit from Truvada.

In short, Prep is not a magic anti-HIV thing like this blog post makes it out to be. His statistics are wrong and idealized. If you can handle the $12,000 price tag, then this is effective in *reducing* infection IN COMBINATION with high adherence and continued use of condoms and careful partner selection. Prep is not something you should rely on alone--that would quite literally be suicide.

My opinion? This guy's giving dangerous advice that will probably lead to more infections than his advice prevents."

Farewell ye firefox
'twas a jolly good time,
but Brendan Eich
is not my type
and he's your c-e-o.


Mozilla, the people who make firefox, recently appointed Brendan Eich as the CEO. Mr. Eich apparently donated to Prop 8 and hasn't said or done anything to indicate his change of view on this topic. Does the guy have the right to support anti-equality? Sure! Do I have the right to not use his product? Fuck yes I do.

Good bye firefox!

Let me ask you this: Does not believing in leprechauns make rainbows less beautiful? Does understanding the underlying forces that produce the fleeting beauty of a rainbow not make it more amazing? Then why would evolution shrivel a cherry blossom?

So! You're a mad scientist who's grown tired of the local MAD SCIENTIST 411's nansy pansy response to sex, and you've decided to kink up the lab with a little vertical mambo! Okay! We're on the same page!

"But where do I shove the probe!" You might be asking yourself? After all, everyone knows where the heavy duty, vibrating and lubricated insemination rod goes, but the brain is important too! Where's all this behavior so you can put it on a timer switch!

I'm glad you asked! Let's start with some basics! The hypothalamus! The hypothalamus is part of the limbic system, also known as the primordial or reptile brain, and provides quite a few very awesome functions. What we're interested in, however, is the hypothalamus's role in integration of the four F's: Feeding, Fighting, Fleeing, and most important... fucking.

Studies on animals where electrodes have been used to stimulate regions of the hypothalamus have been shown to generate these basic behaviors on demand. For instance, if a male rat has a certain area of his hypothalamus stimulated while in a cage with a female rat, he will immediately start humping her and won't stop till the stimulation is removed. Other exhibited experiments: Forcing a rat to gorge itself on food, making a cat pounce and viciously attack/mutilate/eviscerate prey, making a cat arch its back and exhibit extreme fear of a rat. After the stimulus is removed, the animals previously described reacted with significant confusion. So if you plan on making subjects fuck on demand, be prepared to yell, "ENGAGE THE THALAMIC CANNON! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

GREAT! You might scream as lightning from your weather control device crashes! Fucking on demand is great! Now my subjects are successfully mating pygmy dwarves! MUAHAHAHAHA! BUT! You probably want more control! How about the ability to deny or enforce orgasms? YES!

In the spinal cord, many reflexive actions are controlled by something called a pattern generator, essentially groups of neurons that fire in such a way to perform a predesignated series of actions. Thankfully for us, ejaculatory behavior and vaginal constriction during orgasm are controlled by pattern generators, and we know these pattern generators are located in the lower spinal chord! This is why patients who are paralyzed from the waist down are often capable of ejaculation, though they feel no pleasure from it and getting a rise out of them is often rather difficult. Suppression of these pattern generators would prevent ejaculation while forced activation of them would induce ejaculation. Its currently unknown what role these pattern generators play in the initiation of an orgasm itself, its possible that suppression of them might suppress an orgasm altogether, or might produce a non-ejaculatory orgasm. But we're scientists, MAD scientists! And not knowing these things is just the reason why we kidnap victims and put electrodes in their brains to begin with!


So ENGAGE THE THALAMIC CANNON! and THROW THE ORGASMO SWITCH TO ZERO! and enjoy yourself, because your subjects have no choice but to enjoy themselves. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

I enjoy answering naughty questions.

Ask me anything that won't reveal identifying information, hurt someone else, and won't get me in trouble.

And if you happen to ask some other day than tuesday, I'll still answer.

If you ask something that isn't on the denied list, that I won't answer for some reason, I'll give you a kiss. If your question is delicious enough or makes me squirm enough, you might get a kiss for that too.

I'm going back to my "The Dragon and The Prince" story but I'm still torn on what species to make the royal family! I can't decide if I want them to be lions, rabbits, or wolves. The main character will be a prince, and he'll end up going through all kinds of naughty adventures, often with him the butt of them.

So what do y'all think and why?

A short conversation on Tapestries I enjoyed. Caraway is my character, a non-anthro android bird whose type is mass-manufactured as a multi-use toy and PDA with wings.

Xiel mumble at cheapskate associate that ignored her advice and went with the mainboard advertised as 'premium'. No diagnostic board header. No pullable EEPROM.
Xiel says, "And they never clean them when you tell them to. Blowing in the exhaust fan a few times isn't quite good enough."
Xiel wanders around talking to herself and flailing arms.
Caraway shivers. "Blowing in the exhaust fan is so dirty. Last time someone did that to me was in a puiblic restroom with a broken mirror and a dying florescent light.
Xiel smirks.
You say, "Desktop PC's are such whores. They're living cesspools of disease and grime, renting themselves out for anyone's grease-smeared touch just for the next hardware fix."
Quilrynn says, "You shut the hell up Caraway."
You say, "Hmm, Quilrynn?"
Quilrynn says, "You are one to talk about being whoreish."
Jacel murmers, "When Caraway does it, it's classy."
You say, "I never said being a filth and disease-ridden whore selling themselves out for anyone's grease-smeared touch just for the next hardware fix was a *bad* thing."
Caraway does, by the way, show off his spiffy new ion-streamers in his wings. n.n
Quilrynn says, "Your tone and implications were clear."
Caraway auto-tunes himself. "Is that better?"
Quilrynn says, "No. Now you sound like a no talent hackjob who wears flamboyant hats."
You say, "Well, people have said I do a decent Justin Bieber impersonation."
Quilrynn says, "Do you repeat the same word 12 times in a refrain?"
You say, "When I have a voice glitch from D-rate parts bought in a back alley deal, yeah."
Xiel, tf2 junky, immediately starts paying attention when hats are mentioned.
Xiel tsks. Tears out Caraway's throat and rivets in a new one.
Quilrynn says, "There are no earbuds, berets, or rabbit heads here!"
Xiel may or may not be wearing a stupid dragon suit.
Caraway gasps! He's been robbed! The dude in the trench coat assured him that voice modulator was next week's release!
Xiel says, "Last week's release. It was full of his crusty semen. :/"
Quilrynn searches Xiel carefully for snaps, zippers, or other fastening devices.
Caraway suggests the crotch, there's always a zipper in the crotch.

For anyone wondering why ive been offline, im one of the 3 million. i dont have electricity, internet access, or phone service so no one will be able to reach me a while. Eta on my getting electricity back is saturday on july 6th.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatc.....and-democrats/


So, apparently spending increase under Obama and Clinton has grown slower than any republican since Reagan.

What's this mean? That democrats are more fiscally conservative than republicans.

To be honest, though, I feel that an increase in spending is a *good* sign during a recession so long as that money is going towards job creation. That said, under the republicans I doubt we'd see much job creation: Rather, more tax cuts for the rich in the name of the brain-damaged 'trickle-down theory' wherein the only thing that trickles down is the rich pissing on the poor and middle-class.

So I have a rather large collection of porn on my computer, and want to organize it better.

What I'm thinking is a program to handle image meta-data, that lets me define commonly used tags on a side-bar like m/m, bdsm, vanilla, etc. and just select the ones pertaining to that image. And a filter option to let me filter displayed images by tag.

Anyone know of anything like that?

I'll be attending UVA in fall 2012. I've been accepted.

It's been a long time since I've spoken directly with Athus. I kept telling myself to get back in touch, but life just always got in the way.

Now he's gone.

I'll never be able to talk with him again, to reminisce on old memories and catch up with him about old friends. There's a lesson to be taken from this, treasure those people in your life, treasure your loves, friendships, and acquaintances because every one is priceless.

Athus, I'll miss you.