So i know i am not terribly active here, however my recent con experience has shown me that i both want and should be, so I'm going go try, beyond that, mff was one hell of a con this year, i ran into so many people i knew, and a few I've never had the pleasure of meeting in person before, it was amazing is all i can say, also a huge huge huge shout out to everyone at mff, I'd managed to loose a badge while there, and it was promptly found and returned, so thank you all so much who ever managed to turn that in for me!

Well i'll be there, not sure if anyone that reads this would really be interested in saying hello, but i am fairly easy to find if you are so inclind

Well not exactly sure who all reads this, or who all follows this, but i plan on attending mff this year, it's going to be my third in a row, i'll have a small montage with me like i always seem to do lol i'll be suiting and running around doing wolf dog things, so if you feel like saying hello, by all mean! I'm not super shy and i don't bite, too hard anyways!

Well shit, kind of kept it low key that i was going, seeing as it was my first in a very long time, but fucking hell did i have a blast and a half, met a lot of wonderful people, new faces and new places, ran into some old friends, and made some new ones, long in the short of it, had a blast, want to do it again next year, and maybe for many years to come, so thanks AC the furs of AC pittsburgh and all the rest, see you all next time! be sure to look out for this derpy pup running around.

So i have the most random of questions, and was wondering if anyone that takes the time to read this stuff might be able to point me in the right direction, i have a fur suit that i commissioned and to say it mildly if falls very short of my expectations. i was wondering if anyone might be able to point me in the direction of someone that may be able to help me get it fixed, and or refurbished, sad to say a suit that is only a year old needs and over haul but that is kind of were im at with this thing

So as of late i've had several people tell methat i need to get back to the old "me" well news flash im still the same person i was when i joined this fandom, yet i have grown and learned from the experinces that i've had along the way, as any person would at least i would hope so anyways. part of this is just going to be the story of me, a few years ago i was dating someone, and due to thngs going sour for us in 2010 culminating in me litterally loosing every thing, 3 yeras ago i moved to cincinnati, not so much out of want but out of nesscesity, a friend of mine offered me a palce to stay knowing that i was more less homeless, when i arrived in cinci, i had not much of anything to my name except for a few boxes of odds and ends i'd colleted over the years, a trash bash bag of clothes, and a half functional lap top, i guess the pont of saying this is that people say i should get back to being "me" but my question to them is what was "me" ever, i've lived life been up and been down, seen things i'd rather not see, and been threw the wringer, but im still here figting, and pushing forward, things have been on a decent upward swing for me as of late, wich is always a good thing, i just hope tha tthings continuew on this pace, over the last decade i've met a lot of people, it's just funny some of those people have more less become strangers to me again, it's sad how thngs happen like that, ah well maybe i'll get back to the point i was years ago, or i might not want to do that, i guess we shall see what happens

it's rather hard for me as of late to feel like being very active or doing much as a fur simply becuase i feel as though i have become more of a bother to most people that i attempt to chat with more so then anything else, it's one of those thigns that i suppose it owuldn't be as bad "if" i was online more then once a week but seeing as i work a whole lot probley doesn't help matters at all. i jsut miss the sence of belinging i used to have, or that since that everyone knew me i guess, then again it's been about 7 years since i've found the fandom, not that im leaving it by any means, it jsut feeligns like i've fallenn out of touch with what it is that brought me into it in the first place

So i usually post a con review of some sort or another, was a pretty bitchen con for me tbh, saw a lot of old friends and took lots of pics, i think the best part of the whole thing for me was seeing the excitement and wonder in my pup as this was his first con, so yeah we'll be back next year, and how knows were we might end up next, so keep an eye out, you might get pounced lol!

so i've finally done it, i did a very bad thing, and comissioned my first suit, oh lord what have i gotten myself into now lol should be ready some time around september october, not so sure how i feel about this tbh lol

Hey all,

Currently in a bit of an art rut, so I'm going to open up a few slots for free art! How many slots, you ask? Well, that depends on how many people show interest. I will cut it off at some point, but everyone who posts before the cut off will get art!

The rules:
1. Repost this journal to get the word out!
2. Comment here with a link to the pimp journal and a ref of what you would like drawn (NSFW refs are fine)!

aaaannnd that's about it. These will be simple sketches with flat colors or simple shading, nothing fancy or anything.

I'll leave this open for a couple of days, depending on how much interest is shown. If you miss out, I'll probably do this again at some point, so keep an eye out!

so after 4 months, im back, i've moved twice in the last 3 weeks, but im finally settled here in cincinati ohio, glad that im finally stable again, now to find a job, and really get things rolling, im so ready for this,

well this is my last night in the "civilized" world, im leaving tomorrow for my moms house, god this is going to suck, oh well it could be worse i think so how or another

So the final count down has begun, but i will be moving here soon, i wont have internet for a while, but i can deal with that, but it's not so bad, i will be working mostly around the clock for the next couple of months, and thankfully i wont be paying much in rent, so i can get a few things in my life settled, and hopefully move on. deffinatly going to be strange staying with my mom seeing as i have not lived with my parents in 6 years, but right now its a good option to save some money, so im doing what must be done, as much as i may not like the prospect right now

So yeah today i get the news that i might actually be a father IRL, i wont go into details, but there was one female many years ago, and a child came of it. I am not 100% sure that he is mine, but the mother is the same women, as well as the math fits, to be perfectly honest, im excited, i truly am, i hope for the sake of the child that he is mine. I know i am not a perfect role model, but still, i am elated to know that i might have a child, i cannot tell you just how weird it feels to know i might be a father. but come what ever may, i will be there for him if he is indeed my son. And even if not, well if he would like, i will still be there for him as the father figure if he so chooses.

So i thought i'd up date this here, for anyone that might have wondered, as it turns out i am in fact not the father of the child in question, kind of depressed about that of course, but i supose that it is for the best

So after this latest break up, im not sure what is different about me, but there is something that is different, i think the biggest change that i've noticed with in myself is the desire to re-invent myself, this also includes my furry self, i am not 100% sure of what or were, but i can tell you this much, i think my fursona is going to be changed, and as much as people dont like them i am highly considering a pittbull, i feel as though the ABPT discribes me fairly well, some what miss understood, feared by the people that dont understand, but at the same time lovable and loyal one your break through the ooutter rough and tumble shell,
so far i have not completly desided on the lok or make up of this new fursona, but we shall see what the comming months and weeks, we shall see what they bring.

so here we are on the final count down to my 27th year on this planet, hopefully my 28th is better, so far this has been one hell of a week for me, starting with legal issue and all in one day finalizing in me finding out the guy i thought i was with i wasn't, i mean ok fine i can respect that, just wish he would have told me, but i guess i wasn't worth the breath. but oh well, things will get easier as they always seem to do just when the night seems the darkest. but oddly i jsut told a guy that i've knowen awhile that i had kind of a crush on him and he dind't freak out, wich is really kind of nice for me i supose....

at least i can say this i found out sooner then later, but geezus fucking christ man, 6 years, i guess it doesn't matter, but i still feel as if i have waisted 6 years of my life trying to build a relationship with some one, and apparently 6 yers means nothing, and as much as it hurt i will prevail i always manage to some how, seriously though i wish i knew what was going on, i wish i knew were to go, i feel as if i am standing at a massive cross roads, i've got so many directions that i could go, but i have to choose wisely one wrong turn and im screwed, on miss step and i fall apart, but at any rate i have picked myself up from the boot straps before, so i guess this is another one of those instances were i start over, but for the time being i think i am done with men, women, and everything in between, i have no use for a relationship right now, not that it matters much. fucking christ, i just wish i would have paid more attention to the writing on the walls, maybe it would have saved me some of these issues, then again maybe not, only time will tell what happens to me now, i just wish i knew i really wish i knew.

i always try to look on the positive side, always thinking well it could be worse, well what the fuck, it just got a whole lot worse, and to that i say fuck it, do your worst, hell at this point some r&r in hell would feel like a god damned vacation, thats saying something, oh well i guess it's happy fucking birthday to me right?

so i guess im posting this for a couple of reason, the biggest reason is im feeling very abandoned by most people in the fandom, and the reason i say this is because most of the furs i've met comein one of 2 catagories were im concerned, i ether get people that are extreamly clingy or complet flakes.

so i will elaborate on both, were the clingy people are concerned it's not hard to discribe that, then they seem to want one of two things, they either to be my BF or they want to be a pet, and the when i tell them no for either they turn all angry and the completly disapper off the face of the pant, then get irritated when i attempt to tlak to them.

then i get the furs that complet flakes, for example i may run across then on one of the variouse social networking sites i beling to, and they seem all happy to talk and chat, but once i add them to one of my messanger services they falk out, and just dont seem to be able to hold a convo in a wet paper sack.

so im not sure what to do, not to mention there is another group of furs that i seem to run across, and that is the ones that seem to want nothing more then to get in my pants, and again when i refuse them, they flake out, so im attempting to find out if there is soethign that i have done, or suposed to have done? i mean is it really all about sex in this fandom, just cause i wont sex up any guy that asks, is that the reason that i feel as if i have been abandoned?

now im just puting this in here cause this is not directed at every one, there are a few furs out there that i beleive know who you are, that do not fit into these catagories,.

so i guess im just ranting, so at this point rant over
and if you have read al this, damn i supose a thanks is in order lol

anyways later for now
toyo

so i moved, got a decnt place wich is always helpful, but of course with everything good there comes a bad along with it, shortly after i moved i was laid off from work yet again, so now i am searching for a new job, one in wich i hope i will at least like, and can tolerate moderatly, but for now i am bouncing around so to speak slightly unsure of my futur, i swear at this point it as if my life is a broken record, some days i wish i mend that record, but i guess it's not as all fire bad as it seems.

so this last week has been full of challenges for me, some great some small, but right now i have at least some hope, the mustang that i thought was completely dead, may not be, seeing as i was able to get ehr started today after being towed home by volks, this makes me happy on a number of levels, so lets hope the light of tomorrow brings a new light for me and a change of the luck that has been plaguing me for the past few weeks. wish me luck as i am sure im going to need it!

so here i sit, well im 27 and i've done alot, seen alot, and had alot of fun along the way, and yet some how i feel as if my life falls short of the goals that i had set for myself back in high school. being that im aproching 28 later this year, i have to say that i am depressed as far as my life goes, by this time i had hoped to be settled down with my mister right, or how ever you want to look at it, have bought or be buying a house, and all that happily ever after stuff. but that is not the case. so i supose i know what i must do to fix these things, but at the same time, the goals seem so much farther away ten they did 10 years ago, being in the "real world" is alot harder then is seems, but i supose nothing worth having is easy to get. but life goes on, the sun sets and rises everyday, and i hope that one day i will find the right person for me, be he furry or not, and i can settle down and have my happily ever after, before it becomes happily never after.

so for those of you closest to me, you know what has been going on in my life recently, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but i am finally starting to feel like my old self again, staring to get my head in the right place and get back to normal. it's been 3 almost 4 weeks since my life got tossed flipped and turned up side down, but i am finally ready to move on, maybe not jump into another relationship, but i can look in the mirror and at least be pleased with the reflection that i see.

feeling dazed and confused, wondering what if anything i was ever told was the truth or a lie, my head is messed up i cant think right, im not even sure if the person i feel for was a fake or the real deal, the part of me that loves him still after all the pain wants him back, but i don't think that i can let him back into my life, some days i don't even know what good i got out of the whole deal, never in my wildest dreams did i think i could get so wrapped up and hooked on some one, guess i know now why they say love hurts