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Story Time: How to keep friends
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So today in this Journal that isn't just an update about what I am doing. (gasp)
I wanted to talk about how to KEEP a friend. Not to be confused with how to make a friend really but the true challenge is how to keep them.
I'll start with a little story about me.
Throughout my whole entire life I would say that I never really had much of a mean bone in my body, aside from a little teasing/trolling but can't say being a bully is in my blood or nature.
Ever since Elementary School I have realized that I also have an intense Shyness streak going on for me as well. I have the social skills of a plastic doorknob and about as much charisma as a dead fly.
So obviously this translates into an incompetence for making friends.
However for whatever reason. Making friends has always been more of a "How the heck did this happen" thing for me.
In Elementary School DESPITE being the most quiet and hardly noticeable student in the class I often found myself being talked to a lot but that's probably because you have to stare at the same classmates for almost a year. And school has friendly enough people to go alongside with the not-friendly.
It usually starts with trying to find similar interests with somebody and my interests are always odd and outlandish and people actually kind of liked me for how weird I was, it was like a strange gimmick that made me friends. I was forever known as a bit of a weirdo.
I made some lovely friends this way but the thing is...
None of those friends ever lasted beyond the last day of school.
This trend basically goes on and on and on up until Middle School kind of happens.
But Middle School was just as rough for me because I ended up having to move around a lot.
So whatever friends I make in one school won't matter when the last day of school comes because I will just end up forgetting them and they just forget me.
And back in those days the internet wasn't totally wired just yet for using it to keep in touch with friends.
So you had almost nothing to keep in touch with friends besides a phone call.
Fast Forward to about 8th Grade. This year was a bit different from the rest. This was the year where I actually made a group of friends and we all hung out together as mutual friends that are part of a group.
It was really fun to have friends like this and was refreshing for me.
But then again I found myself in a predicament in which these new friends won't see interaction passed the last day of school.
And guess what happened. We all stopped talking after Middle School.
The other unfortunate thing for me was that this was a year I got held back. So it guaranteed I wouldn't see them again despite this being the time MySpace was at it's peak. Our interactions diminished and I was left alone again.
But was I really alone? Because something unexpected happened...
For the first time, a friend was still there in my life even after that last day of school last year.
And that girl was
My friend Becky was finally a person who was STILL there.
She was still my friend. She was still here and wanted to talk and hang out with me...
It was almost too surreal for me. xD
And being able to slowly gain approval from her little friend circle was also nice and I got to have a friend group again and suddenly the bleak year of repeating 8th grade didn't seem so bleak anymore.
However once the end of the year honed in. It was only a small matter of time before I felt like maybe it will happen again. Maybe my friends will end up leaving again and our friendships will just fade away. Once I learned that I won't be going to High School with any of my friends it was very dis-heartening for me.
Fast forward to 9th Grade. Freshman Year of HighSchool.
It's very scary to enter high school, especially when you have no friends... It was very tough and the whole day just felt pretty miserable despite trying to have a nice outlook on it.
But goodness what a pleasent surprise I got during one period change.
I saw none other than
A friend from last year like whoa!
Never expected that. We were able to find each other during lunch and both of us manged to at least get out small sighs of relief that we weren't totally and utterly alone.
Sami and I were good friends in Middle School but we weren't exactly tight knit close, We just had a good friendship going. But when it came down to her and I alone in Highschool both of us were just too shy and uncharismatic to make new friends.
So we spent a lot of our freshman year getting closer and closer to each other.
And before long she ended up being one of the best friends I ever had.
And then she finally got comfortable enough to start inviting me to her house and you totally never guess who she would also invite over.
Freaking Becky!
How crazy that I got to see her again too. And through Sami I was able to not only gain a new best friend but also keep an old one.
It was so amazing and mind blowing for me.
We went through our Highschool years and we had plenty of our own struggles and high stress on us but it was always worth it to know that on the weekend I could spend time with my two best friends.
And you know what.
That happened regularly almost every weekend all the time. And we kept just hanging out the three of us and we became our own best friends.
Well until they both surprised me one day when they started dating. xD
Have to say I was worried a little bit at first because I thought I might end up being like a third wheel. at least not on purpose of course but love can leave you blind to the worries of the rest of the world around you.
Even a little bit today I feel bad when I try to stick my dick into any plans they may have made prior or when they want to spend time alone, I can't help but feel obligated to leave them be and not bother them.
But regardless they're both really amazing friends and the reason they are the subject of this Journal entry and keypoints of this Story Time is because.
They are the only friends I have ever made that I still talk to and still want to talk to me even to this day.
Over the course of my life I have made more than I can count in the number of friends I have made both online and irl.
All the gossip, and secrets, all the laughter I brought them, helping them through tough times, and being a friendly ear who will listen and reach out when nobody else would, All of them unfortunately no matter how tight knit it felt. I was incapable of holding onto them. And I have nothing to blame but my own incompetence as a friend to these people.
And lastly the MAIN reason that brought about this Journal entry is because just last night.
I made a lovely friend online who was totally into all the same stuff I like and we really hit it off so swimmingly and after we both said goodnight I was looking forward to some more conversations with my new friend today.
But alas my new friend unfortunately had his computer die out. And he still has phone internet but he has been in a very depressed and melancholy mood today. And unfortunately I can't cheer up my new friend.
So far we haven't spoken much today.
I feel dumb for not knowing what to say but I haven't even known this new friend for a full 24 hours yet.
All that has been on my mind today is if i'm going to lose this friend.
I really hate losing friends. So today has felt like i'm sitting on a time bomb while I just wait for some kind of depressing conclusion.
It really sucks tbqh
I would write more on this subject but gosh this journal is getting very long.
I'm not sure how to end this journal but I guess the point I am trying to make is.
If you have trouble keeping friends, just know that keeping a friend is one of the hardest things to do in life.
ESPECIALLY as an adult.
But when you do manage it, you'll have a great bond with a wonderful person who would be willing to do almost anything for you and nothing in the world can ever have more value than this.
tl:dr - Keeping friends is very difficult for everyone, only time will tell but only actions will seal the deal. Never be afraid to pursue friendships.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________What am I up to? 5/28
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Holy hell I haven't made a journal update in like 42 Days
Well if anyone was curious I guess I haven't exactly been doing anything exciting.
Says she has her WIP of my Fursona so she'll go ahead and post it soon whenever she slaps on the obnoxiously loud color I picked for her to use. Can't be a furry unless you got a loud/clashing fur/scale color. Loljk
Her art style makes him look kind of cute. xD
He isn't cute though, he's manly as hell;;
In other news plenty of news about Eliza for Skullgirls is getting released and hopefully by next Salty we can learn about a future release date or at least when she can come out on the beta.
UFGTX10 Tournament was last weekend and big congrats to Elda Taluda for winning it and proving that Painwheel isn't low tier garbage. : D
I also spent a lot of time trying to IV breed new teams on Pokemon.
My friend was kind enough to give me more Perfect IV Dittos to make this easier on me to breed more sweepers and walls.
Some of the pokemon I am looking for are not found so easily such as Growlithe(Friend Safari) and Shellos(Transfer from Platinum)
So if anybody can help me with those two that would be just swell
Oh and lastly I have been spending a lot of time rewatching Sailor Moon. I am watching the Japanese Dub right along side the original English DiC Dub.
It's so jarring to watch both dubs at the same time especially since the English Dub cut out quite a few episodes as well as the dialog from DiC just making me feel like I am watching 2 completely different shows.
This dub is still a gem though. (I'm also watching Megami33's Abridged Series of Sailor Moon too)
Well I guess you are pretty up to speed with what I did for this past month. And now you know! : D
Also as a side note if you haven't seen X-Men: Days of Future Past then you should ABSOLUTELY go do it now
And if you don't really want to see it just realize you are missing out on Naked Hairy Wolverine Butt (Just sayin)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________What am I up to? 4/16
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well I did a whole lot of nothing but thankfully I have plenty of games and videos and Tumblr to occupy my time with. : )
But overall it has been a quiet few days. Nothing too exciting.
Oh by the way that movie I saw on the 11th was really good but boy did that ending piss me off. >_>
But it was a good movie it was " Oculus " the scary movie with the Mirror
I have still been dying to play Final Fantasy X remaster. : (
I really gotta figure out a way to get that game while not having a PS3 to play it on.... Lol!
And now i'm watching a speedrun of Wind Waker HD. Whoazers!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________What am I up to? 4/11
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*obnoxious camel voice* MOVIE DAY!
Well gonna go see a scary movie with and
And before that i'm just doing more relaxing at home going on Tumblr and checking stuff out on here. : )
New Earworm!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________What am I up to? 4/10
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well as for what I did today...
A lot of laying around and playing Skullgirls occasionally. : P
Well I guess that is all I can say I did with myself today. God i'm boring.
Gonna see a movie tomorrow! :3
Also
I thought this Violin arrangement of Song of Time/Storms was really beautiful
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________What am I up to? 4/9
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well so far so good everything seems to be going quite swimmingly. : D
Today was the birthday of a friend of mine's Little Brother, and apparently there is cake on Saturday and I can't fucking wait because
FREE CAAAAAAAAAAKE!! FREE CAAAAAAAAAKE!!
But for now I can eat some chicken nuggets and just watch Cryaotic play the next episode of The Wolf Among Us
And me awkwardly realizing that my save data for the game on my boyfriend's laptop is now lost. : (
Guess i'll have to start it over again next time I can.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________Bigby is a cute dork js
Day 1 Entry
General | Posted 11 years ago_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Well I finally bridged that gap and made an account so now I can get to know all of you folks on this here website.
That being said i'll go ahead and keep a journal so you guys can at least have something to look at when you come to my page. xD
Which will probably include stuff like what i'm doing, my thoughts, and showing you stuff I like. :)
Thanks for any watches you guys!
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