So 2015 was the best and worst year I've been through. From finding out the person I loved for more than 2 years turns out to be the caustic, heartless, self-centered bitch I hoped she wouldn't be, to letting my clinical depression and anxiety (surprise for anyone that had no idea, I hid it well) almost get the best of me again and have me do something that I wouldn't get the chance to regret. I'm glad its over.

I know many people won't read this or they'll scroll past it but it is what it is.

The thing is, my worldview has been so warped over the course of my livelyhood that now its slowly starting to become clear. It upsets me to think of all the possible life long friendships and even relationships that I have thrown away or felt like I have thrown away all because I'm too afraid to contact people, make the first move or just say "Hello". To everyone that I've known over the years on here, I feel awful for not being in touch with you as often as I would like to and I ultimately regret it but here is my one chance to say that I've been combating these mental issues for 15 years and it is all now just starting to become clear and my future is starting to become bright.

If at any time I may have seemed reserved or downright uninterested, I guarantee I started talking to you because I was interested in you but I've been fighting a war inside my head that was preventing me, or rather causing me to prevent myself from being the person I wanted to be and I'm sorry it took me this long to finally realize it.

I do think about you, I'm just afraid to say something. Its irrational and stupid, but it is what it is. Thank you for being a part of my life, regardless who you are.