Jesus, what a goddamn year.

2025 came at us like a freight train. Harsh, heavy, full of random bullshit that makes the world colder, darker, less humane.

And yet I found so many things that radically shifted me into growth.

Found out my dad still harbors a grudge against me for existing, 35 years after the fact. I am the product of your mistakes, not your scapegoat. You'd think a 50 something year old man would have figured that out by now, but I leave behind a miserable, angry old man. He did his job right in a way; he's raised a man better than himself.

Found my courage to stand up to people. Turns out the people you fear are just that... People. And when push comes to shove, Rowan can't even face the truth. I leave her behind too.

Found a girlfriend who's obsessed with me. To the point she's said "I'm proud of you" more than my parents in just a month. That's good for my low self-esteem ass. Feedback is important.

I found comfort in family, the family i stayed away from in my guilt and shame for hurting them. I don't have to lick knives to receive love. They taught me that.

And finally... I found myself again. No masks, no self-deception or self-beatdown just for existing.

I am Jim. I'm okay. And i'm steeled against all what may come.

2026 is here. And as is tradition these last few years, We're applying a theme. Well, based on my interactions with people, I think i've got one. "Release." find out what's not working and dislodge it from my heart. It has no space there.

But you know what does have space in my heart? Love for this little German Shepherd puppy. Named JimJam. Because I am creatively bankrupt.

But i don't think he minds. He wants to be snuggled and loved forever and ever. And hell will have to tear him from me before I ever stop loving him. Something something owners and their dogs are reflections of each other. I'm not blind to the parallels.

I hope i'm a good dog dad to him. I hope I can let go of what's holding me back. I hope there is healing in all hearts.

But most of all, I hope there is love again. It's been smashed, stomped, and commercialized in every aspect of our lives... but the real stuff can't be killed. It just takes an open heart and a quiet mind to find it again.

Happy New Years, y'all. May 2026 be full of love, peace, joy, and justice.