I don't journal much, I do most of my talking on Mastodon these days. It's a lot quieter than most social media so it can seem dead sometimes, but that's because they don't throw content at you every other second or artificially create engagement/enragement. I'm contributing to the server costs for my instance because it's a good thing that I don't want to see go away. Come hang out (on any instance) and watch me attempt comedy!

https://socel.net/@hexadoodle

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I'm one of those "I quit pokemon when there started being more than 150", which probably sounds like "I quit math when they started throwing in letters"

My boomer opinion is that movies should be no more than 2 hours long. If you can't tell the story in that time and don't want to split it into two movies, then we need to bring back intermissions.

Soda is a lie. It's liquid and yet everything in it is engineered to dehydrate. How on earth did I survive drinking a can a day as a teenager
(But the biggest lie of all is sparkling water/club soda. Tried it as a kid and never forgot the feeling of utter betrayal.)

Got passed by a car with a vanity plate that had X at the start and end, and I said, nice deviantart screen name

Sore throat, but with the silver lining of getting to hear my voice drop an octave and a half and say "Paging Mr Herman. Mr Herman you have a telephone call at the front desk."

One of my students once described me as "animated" and I can think of no better compliment in the world

Laser printer, I love you

🎶Put the digits one through nine
In every column box and line
Su-susu-su-sudoku

I like to check out CDs from the library. One was "Scratch my back" by Peter Gabriel.
My CD player couldn't read it, FOR SOME REASON.

Hello, my name is Brucerick Springmangosteenfield

Need to find occasions in daily life to use the phrase "you sunk my battleship"

I hope this email finds you, whale.

There's a lot to envy about snakes but I think the top aspect is only having to eat about once a week

Even though I Left Deviantart Forever back in 2016, it never left me. I draw niche nonsense when the inspiration strikes and never anytime else. I settle for sloppy work and rush to post it because I crave those sweet sweet favorites and comments. IT'S MY STYLE, you baka.

(Apr 1st) You would think today was New Year's with all the new resolutions! And I bet you'll all drop em just as quickly too.

How to tell you are in the 90s: Everyone pronounces both t's and capitalizes the I in the word "Internet".

One time I joined a vore chat group and was immediately eaten. I didn't mind terribly much, though it's rude not to at least introduce oneself and ask about one's preferences.
I'm a poison frog though, so they learned their lesson.

If I pick up a new interest or hobby the very first thing I do is learn all the jargon so that I can be incomprehensible.
"Oh hey I see from your t-shirt that you're into the fleek dobbing scene too! Did you go to that fish dance the other day? The guy really pulled a Swarnsbury on the third round, it was nuts. Anyway, gotta run, stay calcified."

I'm gonna name my company "Trish & Jules" so that people will think I'm a cute entrepreneurial couple and not a corporation's hydra head

In fact!!!!!
Ok so
Target is the one that seems to generate all these Name & Name brands, and a while ago I got on their case about "Good & Gather" because there's no way to interpret this where both words are the same part of speech.
But I missed the obvious: these are PEOPLE'S names. My sincerest apologies to Samantha Good and Trevor Gather. I just hope you're getting fairly compensated for manufacturing half the groceries in the whole store.

Today I learned "Federal Circuit Courts" are not courts in the shape of a series of concentric rings where cases had to break through them in numerical order before getting to the Supreme Court at the core.

No matter how many times I enter it, my phone doesn't want to autocorrect the word "Ill" to "I'll" which is nearly always the word I mean.
But because I entered it ONCE, it is oh so eager to correct "but" to "buttfaceandfeetforhands".
( This is entirely the fault of https://www.furaffinity.net/user/zeemf/ )

So in this "gene therapy", do they give the genes massages, or counseling?

As a kid my social standing depended on my ability to burn sickly off the cuff, but the sickest burn my nerd brain could come up with was "You pick your nose more than I do"

Customer survey? I bought your product! What more feedback do you need?
"It only takes one minute to tell us how we did"
Cool! And it takes 0 minutes not to!

There's a form of vagueposting (which I'm guilty of) that goes "Due to Recent Events, effective immediately I'm..."
And I'm like, WHICH recent events?! We've had more recent events recently than we've ever had!

Mac n cheese opinions!
Kroger brand is best. Annie's is okay but the sauce is usually too thin. "Goodles Cheddy Mac" is not only more expensive than a box of mac has any right to be, it also hurts to type and to say. Even Annie's treats me less like a child than this brand does. Not trying out of principle.

Apple Cabin Foods flyer with a pack of hot dogs labeled "Sodium Torpedos"

Catdog vs cucumbercabbage

I can't keep getting away with it. At some point I'm going to have to actually make dinner

Today I learned the grackle is an actual bird and not just some furry's open species

No, Hex, for the tenth time this hour, there are no new things on any of the platforms you're on. Go to bed.

🎶Banan banan banan
Banan banan banan
Get you some potassium
Banan banan banan

I played a ton of TF2 a while ago. The best thing I ever got to hear in-game was what must have been a professional sportscaster, spectating and giving a phenomenal rapid-fire play-by-play of the game as it was happening.
"...Red down 2 to 5, Hexadoodle keeping it together, Hexadoodle's machines getting sapped-- ooh he took care of that spy right quick..."
Technically it was ghosting, but I don't think anyone minded. Wish I could find a video of it

For most of my life, and especially in the social media age, I've had survivor's guilt. Not from any disaster, but just from... doing okay.

My favorite genre of music is "Music theory"

I wonder how much I could get away with by just having someone near me at all times saying "naw naw it's cool, he's just playing a character"

Overwhelmed by a library. How are there this many books

You know what, I LIKE being a-bit-on-the-nose-dontcha-think. Maybe I don't wanna be subtle! I'd rather be understood.

Hello, my name is Curses Foiledagain

Here is how I talk to my snake:
"Hi good morning good morning hi! Look at you mister long-as-the-tank! I see you! Peeker is peekin! Did you have such a good mouse burrito yesterday? Was it so tasty? You sirsty? You sipping water? Sippy sippy drinky drink? How are you so cute? How did this happen? Snaaaaake!"
I never ever call him ‘noodle' though, he has more dignity than that.

I'm about a quarter of the way through the Lilo and Stitch animated series, and I think they've already done about ten Hawaiis worth of property damage

"A"
"B"
"Yes, but A"
"Yes, but also B"
"I hear what you're saying, but A"
"I just don't think we acknowledge enough that B"
Everyone else: Why did this need a thousand messages

If there's life in Alpha Centauri, it had better be centaury.

This probably says more about me than about anything else, but "Best music of the 70s, 80s, 90s and today" feels like code for "songs about putting up with cheating on one's signicant other". The Pina Colada song is probably the clearest example, but I dunno, I just get this sleazy vibe from Top 40 hits. I blame lyrics for having a million interpretations.

Like Zippy, my life is one continual quest for fun.

Ah, I see there was a Take today somewhere out in the furryverse. I can see the ripples. I prefer not to survey the damage.

Stymie, Thwart, and Hinder make such good names for evil minions that I'm looking into supervillainy.
They're for general annoyance. I would have Flummox and Baffle as my Confusion department. If there's one thing I'm going to be as a supervillian, it's _organized_.
STYMIE! Get me a danish!

I think the Triplets of Belleville could have been the Kpop Demon Hunters at some point

Winning internet arguments is easy, you just have to use the word "ostensibly" somewhere

Older guy in my neighborhood lamenting the (rightfully lamentable) state of education, but referring to all three of "socialism", "social studies", and "social engineering" as the same thing, and as the problem

As a gifted kid in the 90s they told me that I was going to grow up and do spectacular things. Make a big positive difference in the world.
Today I'm... pretty good at math. And my job is helping others be pretty good at math.
I wish the world's problems looked anything like the kinds of problems I can solve.
Not to disparage my discipline nor my daily work. Math truly is everywhere and makes our lives easier, and I do believe I make a difference every day. It just feels so small.

I kinda miss when it was just called "being a nerd".

KNUCKLE PUFFS, the BREAKFAST that BREAKS FACES

Software update changed the splash screen so that instead of checking "don't show again", you now have to UNcheck "DO show again".
In principle this is no extra work, but I did have to question everything for a moment, so I'm not sure what problem this solves that it has to create this new one.

The 2000s lied to me. The internet is unwinnable. It is not possible to win any number of internets.

*Squints at the general food landscape* We're doing pretzels again? Didn't we just do pretzels?

I walked into Spirit Halloween and said "If I can't be the toilet man I'm going to be disappointed". I was not disappointed.
But nah, the only thing I was actually tempted to get was a Fall Guys guy. And anyway I already have two inflatable suits that are essentially taurs so I'm set for life I think

Taught myself to whistle only recently, and it's a daily battle to keep myself from whistling people's phone notification noises back at them

I was the kind of kid who thought it was comedy gold to write "This space intentionally left blank" in blank spaces

Watching binary numbers increment like watching the little coin-pusher arcade machines

It seems I cannot have a wooden spoon without it falling onto the heating element of the dishwasher and making the house smell like a campfire

I don't want to read takes. I want to see some gives.

Just invented a card game in my sleep https://socel.net/@hexadoodle/115372846129112754

We asked 100 people "where did it all go wrong?" and we got 101 completely different answers

Wait, people are actually gambling? I thought it was just a meme.

Dreary rural Drury brewery

This will be funny to maybe 3 people: In UFO50 one game has a currency called Zoldnaks, little coins with Z on them. I keep calling them Zorkmids.

Any thrones out there I can pretend to? I got my own crown and scepter

My brain has too many tabs open, and two of them are playing audio and I can't mute them

From early exposure in the 2000s, my impression of furries was that they mainly just make puns and go bowling.

Anytime I enter a new place (or even a familiar one) I do the thing where I stick close to the right-hand wall so I don't get lost

Reminiscing back to when I saw a wedding between two players in-game in Runescape. I wasn't in the congregation, just passing by on my way to smith some bronze and thinking, what an existence this is. I'm so glad this hasn't been lost to history. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SOL9NUeNJ04

Anything I don't understand, I just assume is viral marketing

Yes I want to unsubscribe. Yes I'm sure. No, it's not you, it's me. You'll find someone else. Please don't be like this.

6 isn't afraid of 7. They've just had more than enough of each other lately.

Every time I play games with a group, the goal eventually becomes to beat me.

The well has been left enough alone, now it could use some company.

Snack brand, did you really think I wouldn’t notice you trying to use the word “enlargened”

Can’t have a midlife crisis if you’re gonna live forever

Going only by the posters in college dorm rooms, I never in my life would have guessed that Blues Brothers was a comedy.

Hello, my name is Current Resident