I think I'm in a pretty good time in life. Furry is simply a carefree social media association that tickles the corners of my freetime. And most of my life is family and work. It's what I want to be.

I honestly can't find any motivation to create new content for the furry fandom. My life used to be all creativity, now I feel like any effort I do will be thrown into a giant void, an endless pointlessness. I can't imagine any time or place where anyone will be moved or improved by my content.

I've focused all my efforts onto my family and work. And the results couldn't have been better. Even when I do my new main hobby, genetic genealogy, I get feelings of appreciation and positivity.

I can't pretend that this is ideal though. Maybe I wish the furry fandom was how I joined it, in 2008, where people were less political, less shallow, and less closed minded.

It's bizarre because, you go through your whole life learning right and wrong. And when a fandom has gone south, no good intention can bring it out of it's dark depths.

I find it comical that whenever I find religious furries, Christian groups, they seem to be at odds with the rest of the fandom.

Like, to be a Christian you must be about forgiveness. If you're in the mainstream furry community you can NEVER forgive, even for the slightest misunderstanding. If you're in the Christian furry community, you must find personal enlightenment. If you're in the mainstream furry community, you must constantly give hateful critiques and bitter rebuttals to anyone you suspect has ever thrown shade in an undesirable direction.

Maybe I'm in the older Gen-Y furry community, bitching about the waves of Gen-Alpha and Gen-Z which has pushed the fandom in a direction I never thought it was intended to go in. Either way it's been a ride. But...

I tell people now I have 2 feet inside the fandom, and 2 feet outside of the fandom. My close furry friends mean the world to me. And, my family means so much more, of course.

I don't enjoy making so many negative journals. I really have a whole lot to be thankful for. So I'll try to end this on a positive note.

In my entire life I've tried to surround myself with those who can lift me up. In 2008 I was pretty anti-social, I didn't know how to talk to people. I had no confidence nor had I earned any bit of self-esteem. But through my participation, my choices in the fandom I've gained my confidence, I've earned my self-esteem, and for that I'm eternally grateful.

Like the Democrats of the 1990s, the fandom has changed dramatically, almost making a 180 when it comes to values, priorities, and virtues. For that, I have only a small tight nit group of friends who lift me up now. And my new journey to my new hobby lifts me up. The larger majority of the fandom, as of lately, has not lifted me up.

So my focus is always towards my main priorities in life. My family, my work, my closest friends, those who lift me up, and the hobbies that lift me up.

I am a half-furry. And that's okay with me.