First of all, I just want to give a big thank you to those who reached out to me. Be it to offer advice or sympathy for my situation, it's all greatly, greatly appreciated... I don't think it's possible for me to express that adequately haha, all of y'all's support for me over the years has kept me going, and yesterday made me realize that that's what really matters in the end.

This whole thing kicked off for me after I posted a new pic on twitter and bluesky (it's on e621 too, and I will post it here as well soon, along with some other works I've completed since the last time I uploaded here), it was a follow-up to what's by far my most-liked pic on both sites, and it got a mere fraction of the engagement that that last pic did... And it was incredibly disheartening to me because I worked so hard on it, and it got my head spiraling, convincing myself that I was the problem somehow... I'm not perfect by any means, I do still think I have a lot of room for improvement, but yesterday made me realize that people do still like what I put out. And I'll be damned if I let some shitty social media algorithm stops me from creating.

I haven't been magically cured overnight or anything, I still have struggles, and it's gonna take me a lot of time to navigate them, but I am not going anywhere, I'm not quitting. I'll keep making new stuff, I'll keep accepting commissions (as long as I'm not swamped by them already... which does happen a lot <w>; ), and I will keep learning along the way

And I'll be very happy if you keep enjoying my works. Some things I draw might not be for everybody, but that's just how it is, and I shouldn't limit myself because of that.

Opening up isn't easy for me... It's hard to really articulate my thoughts, and I just get shy about that in general... So it really means a lot even if you just quietly read through it, and know what I've been struggling with.

Once again I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I will continue doing my best, with my art, and for the people in my life

I love you guys

see you next post

-benjipaws