at the start of the year my mom has gotten weaker (and she didn't tell me) and in february she ended up in a hospital where they diagnosed her with severe anemia. if she wasn't rushed there i have been told she could have died. fortunately she's now stable and we took care of what was causing it, i'm very grateful for the care she's gotten. during all of this my father also started declining and was doing worse and worse. he refused to be hospitalized but i think it was too late either way considering his lifelong addictions.

on the 25th of march my father passed away, two days later i was back home with my mom after i managed to wrap everything in terms of his death. since then i've been loosing sleep and spending all my energy and resources on trying to fix our lives - if not the kindness of everyone around me i don't think how i would pay for everything. we also don't have enough space to house 3 people and work from home so it's a struggle, but we have no other choice. i haven't slept in my own bed in over a month. my mom is disabled and i moved faraway from my hometown last year. my father was a very difficult person with whom i had an awful relationship. due to both of my parents being sick my mom's apartment got so neglected i had to throw away all of her life, helping beforehand was impossible bc of my father. i packed just 2 boxes of most important belongings i could salvage and the rest had to be professionaly disposed of. i couldn't be there without protective gear, this is how bad it's gotten. yesterday we did a second spraying bc infestation of both bed bugs and cockroaches was so huge - to the point where administration of the apartment block was involved along with neighbours. few of the bed bugs despite my best efforts came with me to our home, we had spraying done here too. i'm the only person who gets bitten/is allergic so i loose sleep because of that, outside of taking care of my mom and everything else 24/7.

i had to make a lot of calls, fill out lots of paperwork, talk with many, many people and all of this is taking a while and it's not the end. every day and every week i get more and more done, i try to piece back all of our lives together. it's very difficult to work and be a person in all of it. i also got extremely sick at one point from exhaustion and the sudden freezing temperatures.

i don't know what future will bring but i'm trying my best to make it as good as possible for both me and my mom. we both deserve it after everything. last few years have been already extremely difficult with me loosing my grandma, moving 4 times, covid, financial issues, my mom being hospitalized several times for months at a time and more. i still feel like i never had time to process any of this.

if any of you are interested in a commission i'm unfortunately not able to work anything with a deadline but i might accept smaller projects that are not time sensitive! i appreciate every kind word and support thrown my way as this is the most difficult my life has gotten despite it always being very rough.

if you want to throw a dollar my way i also have a ko-fi:
https://ko-fi.com/megueggu

if you've read this all i thank you from the bottom of my heart for your time and i wish you ambundance and health 💜