Felt like I needed to sit down for a cig, even if I don't smoke.

I'm not sure if I've been the model example of a friend to those I call friends. I'm forgetful, I have my insecurities, I crave reassurance. I've faced moments when I've felt left alone, ditched, like that last kid to be picked for the soccer team. I'm sometimes a poor communicator even if I sound eloquent or thoughtful. I aim to become a more empathic person. Until that, don't be afraid to knock me around if need be, and don't hide your frustration and anger for my slights.

I don't want to become the kind of person nobody wants to be in the slightest debt to, if that makes anything more clear. The kind of person that's only there because they're connected to so many other people. The kind of person whose words will always be taken with a grain of salt. The kind of person whose own insecurities hurt others.

When all is said and done I want to end up with a positive meaning in the lives of my friends despite my clumsiness.

( Personal piece. Closed comments here in the public. )