"Fear" a view of an artist (in 15th or 16th century clothing), troubled, looking outward at what?

into our own plane in unease at his own artist? Into what troubled me at the time when making this? or simply the act of showing fear or unease on a character that has always seemed "joyous." I Probably can't remember, if any; what horror or thought caused me to make this, but it must have been powerful enough that words couldn't spell it out.

Ah if only I had a mic in my head for things like these, now broken by a few minutes away from my keyboard.
(artists notes: I actually can't remember when this was drawn, Id say last year, but that; like when I converted to kemeticism (egyptian paganism), its just a broad stroke, its not the full date nor time. Though Id say the month was either before or after summer.)