(Plot): What-if two familiar slackers weren't the only ones that got the job at the park? What-if some young guy got the job as well? Join him as goes on many different misadventures, make some friends along the way, and find out that his so-called "regular life" is going to be anything but regular. This is his Regular Story.
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I don't own any of the characters from Regular Show, those go to the creator J.G. Quintel. The only thing's I own are my OC's, but so far you'll see one and more characters to come later in this story somewhere in the future.

Also, you can check out this story on FanFiction and DeviantArt. The links are on my account.

Enjoy!
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First Meeting and Rock, Paper, Scissors

I was nervous, today was my first day at work. My aunt was driving me to my destination, knowing that I needed some motivation, but I still couldn’t help but be nervous, this was new. I mean sure it was easy writing a resume and starting looking for some jobs, then waiting for nearly a couple of days until I received mail coming from someone named...uh, Benson I presumed his name right. According to the letter I got, it said that I’ll be working at the park along with two other guys besides me who also got the position. The job seemed decent, but hey at least it was better than nothing.

Anyway, to tell you about myself, I’m just a regular twenty-two year old guy who just recently moved into my aunt’s apartment about a year ago. Settling in, my mom agreed with my aunt that once I got my bearings together, I needed to find a job. But speaking about my aunt, she was middle-aged, somewhere around forty or fifty give or take, short auburn hair and wearing a purple shirt and white jeans. There were some wrinkles around her face, and if someone were to look at her, they would probably mistake her as my grandma.

As for me, my light-brown hair was neatly combed, I also wore a red buttoned-up shirt, but it was unbuttoned, revealing my white undershirt and I had blue jeans. It wasn’t much, but at least it was decent for me to wear to work.

Looking at the window while watching the traffic go by, my mind was still wondering how much work I’m going to do. I don’t mind the extra work at all, but I would like to make some extra dough so I could add it to my account that my mom and aunt already made for me.

As we got to our destination, my aunt pulled her old bug to the parking lot near the snack shack. I opened the door and closed it, then I looked at myself in the rearview mirror while saying to my reflection, “You can do this Barney.”

Yep, that’s my name, Barney Jay, a regular guy going to work at a regular job at a park.
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After walking around the park for a bit, I took in all the places I can remember, just in case my boss needed me to do something. But other than that, the park was really great, I haven’t really been to one in all my life, so I guess this’ll be my first time going to one, and not to mention working in one. We stumbled across a big house, I was a little surprised they actually have a house right here in the park. But I wonder if they have enough room for me?

Walking with each step, I was still a little nervous. Before my aunt opened the door, she put a calming hand on my shoulder and said, “Just relax, Barney, everything will be fine, I promise.”

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, I always say that to myself, but I trust my aunt, if everything will turn out fine, then there’s no reason to doubt her. Stepping inside, I’ll have to admit, it has everything that a home needs: tv, couch, a video game set, kitchen, there were even stairs, probably leading to some rooms up there.

“Oh, they're fine,” said a voice.

Me and my aunt noticed two people carrying an old chair, one was a gumball machine, and the other was a man with a big round shaped head and had a mustache and was wearing a gentlemen-like outfit.

“Excuse me,” my aunt said.

The big headed man stared at us then said, “Why hello there, you must be the new workers I heard so much about.”

“Actually, he’s working,” my aunt said while referring to me.

The gumball machine sets down the end of the chair, turns around and looks at me. By the look on his face, he looks like a man, no doubt about it. Still, I never met someone like him before. Well it’s the first time for anything.

Crossing his arms, the gumball machine says, “So you must be the new guy, huh?”

“Um, yes sir, I am,” I nodded.

“Hmm...Well, can you wait out here for a minute? Me and Pops need to handle this chair.”

Shrugging my shoulders, me and my aunt stepped aside as I said, “Sure, go right on ahead.”

Getting back to where they left off, the gumball machine and the man, I presumed it must be Pops, resumed where they left off by carrying that old chair.

While Pops passed by my aunt, he tips his top hat and says, “Good day, madam.”

“You too,” my aunt responded then sighed. “Such a nice kind man.”

“Huh, I’ll say.” I crossed my arms as I watched them carry off that chair.

Then...I felt someone shove me from behind, I nearly lost my balance if I hadn't grabbed that beam to keep me from falling over. The one who shoved me was a black and blue feathered blue jay. Glaring at’em I shook my fist then yelled, “Hey, watch where you're going!”

The blue jay quickly turns around while looking and waving his feathered arm then says, “Sorry!” Then it continues running. But I wonder where exactly?
After just fixing my balance for about a few seconds, another one ran right between my legs, I almost tripped if my aunt didn’t grab my arm. This time it was a brown raccoon with dark brown stripes on its tail. It ran on all fours, trying to catch up with that blue jay, but I yelled at the raccoon to get its attention, “Hey!”

It turns around standing up, facing me then says, “Sorrycan’ttalkbye!”

It runs back on all fours again.

“Huh?” My eyebrow cocked, I had an odd look on my face because I didn’t understand a word that raccoon said. Looking at my aunt to see if she listened right, but instead she just shrugs her shoulders, clearly as confused as I was. “Man, people these days.” I nod while dusting my shirt.

“Well, people are always in a hurry.”

I nodded in agreement, but sometimes people shouldn’t rush, because it soon would cause an accident. Like me for example.

“Well, I guess I should be going now,” my aunt said. “Good luck on your first day at work.”

“Thanks Aunt Em,” I gave a kiss to her cheek. “I need all the luck I can get.”

My aunt’s real name was Emeline, but I call her Em for short. It’s what I always called her since I was a kid, and she seemed to like that nickname.

“Call me when you get done from work.” Aunt Em walked down the stairs, waves to me then says, “Bye.”

I waved to her and said bye as well as she left me.

Going down the steps, I sat down on the last one, placing my head with my fist while waiting for that gumball machine to come back. While I was waiting, I noticed those two who bumped into me earlier were talking to both Pops and that gumball machine. I couldn’t hear what they were saying since I was a little far from hearing range, but I could tell they were probably interested in that old chair. Don’t know why they would want it, I mean it's pretty old, and it probably lost its comfort. I had a feeling that they were trying to throw it away, but it was a hunch.

The gumball machine leaves Pops and those other two, and comes to me. I stand back up as I follow him to the cart that was parked near the garage. Starting it up, I sat right next to the gumball machine. He’ll probably give me a tour of the place, maybe because there’s some other places in the park I don’t know about yet.

“So,” The gumball machine said, “your name is Barney Jay, right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Well, I’m Benson Dunwoody, I’m the park’s manager, welcome aboard.”

He offered his hand to me as I grasped it then said, “It’s a pleasure.” As he put the cart in reverse, I asked him, “Where are we going?”

“First, I just need to get somebody who’ll be joining us then...” While he drives the cart, he groans and places his hand on his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hang on a minute.”

As he pulled over, I noticed those two again along with Pops, but I also noticed something else. That blue jay and raccoon were playing rock, paper, scissors. Just what the heck are they even doing playing that game when there’s work to be done. As my mother always says “work first before playing”. Still, why is Pops just standing there watching and doing nothing.

“Shouldn’t you guys be throwing that thing away?”

Huh? Guess I was right, they were trying to throw that old chair away.

Pops noticed us, then waved while saying, “Benson, young man, come quick! Quartz, parchment, shears, and they already tied two times, it’s absolutely fascinating!”

Whistling at that, I was impressed, if those two can play that game and then tie twice in one day, was a little bit interesting. Still, why would Pops call it “quartz, parchment, shears”, what kind of a silly name is that? Me, I just call it rock, paper, scissors. Anyway, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to see this playout for myself. But unfortunately, right before I was about to get out of the cart so I could watch, Benson stopped me by grabbing my shoulder and making me sit down while nodding. Turning his attention back to Pops he says, “I have work to do, and they shouldn’t be playing that.” He drives the cart with me in it while finishing, “It’s an evil game.”

An evil game? That’s so ridiculous! I mean, I’ll admit, I have played the game before, but that was when I was little and I still play it on certain occasions. Still, I had to know, so I asked Benson, “Why is it an evil game?”

“Trust me, Barney, you don’t want to know.”

I get the feeling that he’s not telling me something, so I decided not to pry and just keep it to myself.

“Everyone come quick!” The radio on the cart turned on with Pops’ voice speaking through it, “The most amazing game of quartz, parchment, shears is happening right now!”

Benson groaned again then said, “Why do I even bother?”

I was still curious as to why such a game that I know could be so evil. I still didn’t want to pry, but curiosity got the better of me. “Benson, what happens if they keep playing it?”

“Like I said, you don’t want to know.”
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After Benson drove around the park for a couple of minutes, he pulled over to another house. It wasn’t big like the one I saw, I think this one was more of a street house with its conventional garage and probably a place for only one person to live in. The garage door opens and out comes a yeti, wearing nothing but jeans and is really muscular. I’m a bit fit myself, not that I should brag, I’m not the type of guy who wants to get all bulky and show off my abs. Unless of course if I want to, just for the occasion of the ladies.

Anyway, the weirdest thing I saw about this guy was that besides walking towards us, it was skipping. Seriously though, why would it do that? Well, I guess it’s not my concern what he does.

“Barney,” Benson said. “I want you to meet, Skips.”

Skips, huh? That sounds rather convenient, but I guess I figured why he’s called that name.

“So you must be the new guy?” Skips says as he stood next to me while I nodded. Reaching his hand, I take it as he greets, “Nice to meet you.”

Huh? This guy has a very strong grip, not bad.

Scooting over, Skips sits right next to me, as I now sit in between both him and Benson.

“Alright,” Benson starts the cart as he drives, “according to the resume, you're a bit inexperienced at work. But you can lift some heavy objects, take out the trash, and do the dishes, right?”

“Yeah, it's not much, but it is what I got.”

“Hey don’t worry,” Skips says, “there’s plenty of other work you can try. You can also get some experience while you're at it.”

“Thanks.”

“Now if you need anything to know,” Benson says, “you can either ask me or Skips.”

“Eh, fair enough.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Hello, hello!” Pops’ voice came from the radio, “Please, someone, come quick! Quartz, parchment, shears gone terribly wr-”

The rest of the transmission was cut off by static, I got a bad feeling about this. Benson takes the radio and answers, “Pops, where are you?”

An explosion was heard behind us as I jumped, turning around while seeing the plumpth of smoke and said, “Well, there’s your answer.”

Benson groans then says, “Skips, take the shortcut, I’ll go around back.”

Skips quickly gets out and skips away.

“Barney, sorry that we have to cut our meeting short,” Benson starts the cart as he drives, “but I guess you’ll know why the game is evil.” As he drove around back with me still as his passenger, I heard him mutter, “Idiots.”

Guess I can’t blame him, whatever those two did revolving around that game that I know, must’ve caused that weird explosion. Still, why can’t anyone tell me why it's evil?
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Well...I got my answer, while Benson drove us around back. What I was seeing right before me was a black hole.

“Whoa!” I gasped as I noticed Pops holding on for dear life at a lamp post with those other two that I met. I couldn’t see anything else as Benson kept driving and then the trees were blocking out the rest. “What the hell was that!”

“Trust me, you're not gonna like it.”

While we made it, I saw Skips grab hold of Pops’ legs. However, I can feel the rush of wind being blown towards that black hole. “What did you do?” I heard Skips say.

Benson parks the cart next to him then says, “They were playing rock, paper, scissors, grab on.”

Skips grabs a hold of the bar. “Don’t you know, that’s an evil game!”

“Hold on, everybody!”

“Hold on, everybody!” I heard Pops yell.

“Hold on every-Rigby!” The blue jay yelled at that raccoon named Rigby. Me, Benson, and Skips gasped as we saw him with only half of his body swallowed up by the black hole.

“C’mon Benson, punch it!” I yelled.

Benson hit the pedal hard, the tires screeched as we were slowly moving forward, but came to a complete stop at the garage door.

“What do we do?” Skips says.

“Yeah, what can we do.” I said.

“They have to break the tie!” Benson says.

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yeah, it’s the only way to end this.”

I looked straight ahead...then something came up, “Benson,” I looked at him, “what happens if someone else were to join in, would that break the tie?”

“Well, I guess so, but no one has done it before.”

I look back again as an idea formed in my head.

“Barney,” Benson said in a serious tone as I looked at him again, “what are you thinking about?”

I knew I was probably going to regret this later, but what choice do I have, someone has to stop this. I could at least try.

“I’ll be back.”

I climbed up the cart as Benson yelled, “Barney, what’re you doing!”
Taking a deep breath, I jumped on Skips’ head, making him grunt while I apologized, “Sorry about that Skips.” while balancing on one foot then jump on Pops back while also saying to him, “Excuse me Pops.”

“Kid, what’re you doing!” I heard Skips yell. “It’s too dangerous!”

I stand on top of Pops’ head, stretching both my arms while keeping myself balanced. Taking another deep breath, I had to take a risk so I had to time this perfectly or else I’ll get sucked in. I jumped off Pops’ head as I caught the wind’s updraft, trusting my instincts as I reached a hand out and caught the blue jay’s feathered hand. I looked at him as he gave me a surprised look. “Dude, what’re you doing!”

I grabbed a hold of his arm as I swung my body over to him and landed my legs on his back, letting myself dangle as they said, “Whoa.”

“Guys, throw rock, paper, scissors at me, I’m joining in!”

“What!” They both said in unison.

“Just trust me, okay!”

“But dude,” The blue jay said, “that wouldn’t be fair because you have to use one arm to do it.”

“Who said I was using one arm.”

I showed them my two balled fists, it was a trick I used a long time ago when playing with more than one person. They both looked at each other, thinking that I was crazy. Maybe I might be, but it was the only chance we had.

“Barney, what’re you doing, stop!”

“Barney!”

I barely heard the voices of Skips and Benson, due to being close to the black hole and the wind blowing so hard.

“Guys,” I yell at those two as they turn their attention to me, “you just have to trust me!”

They thought about this for a second, then they nodded.

“Okay, ready!” I bring out my fists as they too brought their fists. “On three, one...two...three!”

Rigby chose paper as I chose scissors, and the blue jay chose rock as I chose paper, then we were all engulfed in a flash of light. I groaned as my back was on the ground and my legs were feeling something soft, I sat up and moved my legs away from somebody and rubbed the back of my head.

“Dude, you actually beat us both.” I looked at the blue jay, who had a stunned look on his face. “How did you do that?”

“It doesn’t matter if he beat us,” Rigby said as he dusted himself, then had a downed look on his face. “I wasn’t able to hold on to the chair anyways.”

I got up as I dust myself, then said, “Where is it anyway?”

“Look,” Pops says as he points.

I look to where Pops was pointing as I see the chair. Well, unfortunately, what’s left of it anyway. There was only half of it, but the other half was completely gone as it was red and smoking. I whistled at it and said, “Well, ain’t that a shame.”

“Barney!” Benson yelled. “What were you thinking, were you trying to kill yourself out there!”

“I was only trying to help, you should at least be grateful.”

“Yeah, and you could’ve made things worse after I told you that the game was evil!”

“Well, you could’ve at least explained it to me why it's even evil in the first place!”

“Kid,” Skips says while sighing and placing a hand on my shoulder, “the reason why it's evil is for a few reasons. One: if you can’t agree on something when playing the game in order to settle it, and two: if you keep playing it and tie one-hundred times a catastrophe will happen.”

Oh, so that’s the reason why. As long as I don’t settle something when playing the game and tie it one-hundred times, nothing bad will happen. But still, I never imagined such a game that was so innocent and easy to play would be that dangerous.

“However, I agree with Benson. What you did today was both reckless and stupid. You shouldn’t play with fire, you’ll only get burned in the end, and you need to not take any unnecessary risks next time. But…” He looks at Benson. “The kid’s right though, we should at least be grateful, he did risk his life to save the park.” He looks back at me. “Which I’ll admit, you got guts kid, so let's cut him a little slack.”

“Fine,” Benson groaned, “but you still need to handle the consequences of your actions.”

“I understand sir,” I nodded, “it won’t happen again.”

“Good, because you're going to help those two idiots over there.”

He points to both the blue jay and Rigby.

“You're going to flip that cart back over, you're throwin’ that chair away, and then you're cleaning up this whole mess!” He spreads his arms to simplify that last one. But man, this place was a complete mess, it’ll probably take all day to clean all this up. “Pops you're comin’ with me, and the three of you, if this isn’t cleaned up when I get back,” His whole face turns red then yells, “YOU'RE FIRED!”

My jaw dropped at that last sentence. Seriously though, I think he might be overreacting. Still, the first day on the job and I’m already threatened with being fired. Man, this is not my day, and I knew I was going to regret this later.

As they left, Pops had one look at me before he left as he whispered, “Good luck, young man.”

I was grateful, I needed all the luck I could get.

The door slams, leaving me alone with those two.

“Okay,” The blue jay says, “starting now, let's all promise not to do anything to screw this up. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Rigby said.

I sighed and nodded my head, “Yeah.”

We were silent for about a couple of seconds until Rigby said, “Rock, paper, scissors for who gets to drive the cart?”

As they started playing the game again, I stopped them by slamming both my hands on their hands. “Don’t even go there, I’ll drive.”

“Ah what, really,” Rigby said.

“Yeah, really.” I wrap my arm around the blue jay's shoulder and place my hand on Rigby’s back. “Besides, you guys owe me.”

“Owe you for what man?” The blue jay says.

“Well for starters, you guys didn’t properly apologize for bumping into me today, and you could start by helping me by keeping my job and I’ll help you keep yours. As there’s a saying, ‘You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’.” They gave me a confused look, probably for not understanding what I just said. “Look, let’s just get to work.” While we were walking, I asked the blue jay, “By the way, what’s your name?”

“I’m Mordecai and that's Rigby.”

Yeah, I already know about his name, but I didn’t want to say it.

“Well, the name’s Barney. Barney Jay.”

So that was my first day, and not to mention it was a crazy one at that. But I got a feeling that during my days to come when working at the park, it’s going to be anything but regular.