I've finished a berry inflation novel! "The Permaberry Paladin" is a fantasy story about a paladin named Tycho who becomes a permaberry after getting hexed during a job gone wrong. With the help of his friend Vex, he tries to adjust to his new life, while also searching for the hexmage who transformed him. The novel focuses on berry inflation, though other forms of inflation are included as well. This preview is the novel's opening scene.

Preview 2

And if you enjoyed it and want to read more, then you can purchase the full novella, either on Itchio or Amazon.

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The Permaberry Paladin – Preview
By: Indigo Rho

With the sun setting outside, magical lamps within the Jolly Swell tavern flickered on one-by-one. The plump orange crow tending the bar smacked a dim one on a sconce behind him, smiling when it brightened some. Satisfied, he returned to filling a pitcher with blueberry cider.

The Jolly Swell had a spacious layout designed to handle its unique clientele: berries. Round tables were spaced far apart so inflated patrons could shuffle—or roll—between them without issue. Stools around the tables could be pushed underneath when a patron got too big. There were no sharp corners or pointed decor anywhere. Even the stone floors had been smoothed down, leaving no rough edges. It was all to create peace of mind for those filled to the brim.

Plenty of uninflated patrons were brightly colored, a tell-tale sign of a permaberry. None sulked or brooded over their condition. Instead, they embraced it, taking joy in their perpetual swelling. They were the majority in the Jolly Swell, with the rest being people who simply liked to inflate on occasion.

Even with the tables spaced out, berries and blimps could make the place seem cramped. Slim servers squeezed past round patrons, holding trays of food and drink above their heads. They’d place down drinks, accept a tip if they were lucky, and leave to the sound of clinking mugs and swelling drunks.

Plain ale was on tap at the Jolly Swell, but the tavern was better known for its wide selection of fruity ciders. Some merely got you drunk, while others transformed you into a berry.

The existence of such a specialty tavern was a testament to how widespread berrification had become in the city of Vastport. It was an inevitability, considering the sheer number of ways one could be transformed into a berry: spells, hexes, plants, allergies, the juice of someone berrified. It was a wonder everyone in the city wasn’t already round and sloshy.

Amongst the many who’d avoided such a fate were Tycho and Vex.

Tycho took a long sip of apple cider. The thin, brown lion had a fondness for liquor—just as long as it didn’t turn him into a blueberry or a cherry or anything else round and ready for market. The size didn’t bother him, only the risks.

Most who became berries could be juiced back to normal, but the chance of the affliction becoming permanent was always present. One could turn into a berry and back a hundred times without issue, only to end up stuck that way forever on the one hundred and first. As a paladin, he preferred not having to worry about filling with juice throughout the day while trying to complete his tasks.

“Vex, the cider here’s great and all, but I’m still not sure why you love this place so much,” Tycho said, staring at the gray snake across from him. “I’ve never even seen you become a berry before.”

“We both dabble in inflation; why is it so surprising I like a tavern where everyone revels in it?” Vex said.

Tycho blushed. He did enjoy inflating—with air; sometimes water if he felt daring. But it was a private act. Blimping up in public would’ve been tremendously embarrassing. Even chatting about it openly made him nervous. Being in an inflation-centric tavern didn’t change that.

“I’ve never seen you inflate here, either,” Tycho said.

“Would you like to?” Vex leaned in and grinned.

The lion’s jaw dropped open, then quickly shut. He drank to hide his lack of words. “You’re free to do whatever you want. I won’t stop you.” He might not be able to watch, though.

“Doesn’t answer my question,” Vex smirked. “Though unfortunately I’m not wearing the proper gear for blimping.” The snake tugged on the collar of his tunic, proving it couldn’t stretch. The various balloons and berries in the tavern wore clothing enchanted to grow along with them, ensuring their outfits weren’t immediately reduced to scraps. “But honestly, I simply enjoy the atmosphere here.”

“The atmosphere?” Tycho asked. He saw a fox swell and roll over onto his back a few tables over. The others with him laughed. “You’re usually better at lying.”

“I’m telling the truth!” Vex insisted, though he chuckled enough to seem insincere. “Aside from the inflation, it’s just like any other tavern. Though it has a wider variety of drinks and a bit less brawling.”

“Only because it’s hard to fight when you’re round.”

“Hard, but not impossible. I’ve seen it happen a few times, and it’s always made the trip worth it.”

Tycho looked around the room, as if a fight might spontaneously break out to prove Vex’s point, but the place was in good spirits. Excitement fueled shouts rather than anger. He wondered how berries even fought. Did they bump into each other until one rolled over? Did they need to recruit the aid of slimmer companions? How many fights ended with the loser popping?

The thought made him shudder. The only thing about inflation he feared more than becoming a permaberry was popping. Healing spells and potions could work wonders, but they couldn’t put a pile of scraps back together. He didn’t want to think too hard on it.

“I bet you only like the atmosphere because the place is shady,” Tycho said.

“Shady?” Vex snorted. “No shadier than all those gambling dens you love to visit.”

“Only for work.”

“Oh no, I’ve seen how giddy you get when you win big. You can claim you’re there to gather information or swindle someone terrible, but the truth is you’d be there even if you weren’t a noble, valiant paladin,” Vex teased.

“My patron is a deity of luck; gambling is how I pray,” Tycho insisted.

“So if I started worshipping one of the dozens of deities who love to snatch things then you’ll stop bugging me about my hobbies?” Vex asked.

Tycho chastised himself for not expecting the question. “There’s a difference between me gambling and you being a thief.”

“Not a big one. We both target the same people, for the most part.”

“I win the gold of terrible merchants and criminals; meanwhile you’re looting libraries and book shops.”

“Borrowing a few books isn’t looting,” Vex laughed. “And we only met because you caught me doing that, remember?”

As if Tycho could forget. He’d taken a job from a librarian plagued by a book thief, who of course had turned out to be Vex. The snake’s hexes had sorely tested Tycho’s luck magic, but he’d won in the end. “Caught and inflated, I might add. Not that being a blimp made you any less obnoxious.”

“You’re just bitter I nearly escaped despite being a helpless blimp,” Vex said. “Yet we gained a mutual respect for one another in the process, and are now the best of friends.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Was that an inflation joke?”

Tycho frowned at the smug snake. “No. No it was not.”

More cheers erupted nearby. The tavern’s bard—a brightly dressed parrot who Tycho had never not seen spherical—was swaying from side to side and singing a nonsensical song at a plump zebra turning green. The zebra blushed as they ballooned in size, nudging their table and flattening a stool to laughter and cheers. They gained height as well as width, reaching about ten feet around. Their hooves sunk into their body and their muzzle barely jutted out. They looked like an enormous watermelon.

Tycho watched how the spherical zebra wobbled in place. Patrons knocked on their sides, chatting back and forth, smiles on their faces. He felt the slightest hint of jealousy as he stared at the berrified zebra. His favorite part about inflating was growing big, but he’d never had the courage to get as large as the zebra had. Vex didn’t need to know about that, though.

The lion shifted his attention back to the snake, who was ogling the zebra as well. “So. Why did you really invite me here? Don’t try to tell me it was just to have drinks, either. You’ve been paying for all mine and only had a single mug yourself. The only time you’re that generous and restrained is when you want something from me.”

“What can I say? You’re incredibly easy to bribe with booze.”

“Unfortunately.” Tycho finished his drink. “So what do you want?”

Vex pulled a rolled-up bundle of cloth and slid it across the table. Tycho unrolled it, revealing a bounty poster. The face of a crane was drawn upon it, with attention given to a scar above his brow. The name “Merv” was written below the picture, along with a modest reward.

“And who’s Merv?” Tycho asked.

“A dealer in magical items and alchemical goods; the questionably legal kind.” Vex waved down a server and quickly motioned for another pitcher of cider. The maned wolf hurried off. “Sounds like he cheaped out on bribing a few officials so now he’s suddenly a public nuisance worthy of a bounty.”

“And not much of one at that. This is too cheap to catch your interest. What’s the real reason you want to take him in?”

“What, I’m not allowed to take a job for the greater good?” Vex asked.

“Don’t you dare pretend to be noble. You never take a job that doesn’t benefit you in some way.” Vex’s smile didn’t waver in the least bit at the accusation. “Merv has something you want to swipe, doesn’t he?”

“Nothing in particular. Though I certainly wouldn’t mind confiscating any merchandise we happen to find while apprehending him,” Vex said. “Most of his goods are related to inflation; it may be a niche market, but it’s a profitable one.”

Tycho crossed his arms and smiled at the snake. “So he’s a competitor, then.”

“There’s a slight chance of an overlap in our business.” Vex held his chin in a claw and glanced away. “But that’s merely coincidental. I honestly thought you’d be interested in disrupting his shady dealings. Didn’t you take oaths about that or something?”

“If I did, then I’d have rolled you off to jail a dozen times over already.” His memories of Vex as a snarky balloon of a snake had never faded. Yet another thing his friend could never know; the teasing would be endless.

“Fair. Though I don’t think it’s wrong for me to benefit while doing something good. I’m even willing to let you have the bounty in full this time. Knocking him out of the market for a while is enough of a reward for me.”

“You’re doing a great job of convincing me to help with your selfless quest,” Tycho said, rolling his eyes.

“I try.”

“Not really.” Tycho looked down at his empty drink, and then scanned the bar for the maned wolf. They were still getting the cider. “Do you have a plan to capture him?”

The snake smiled, smugger than ever. “I’d be a terrible thief if I didn’t have a plan. Merv will be making a sale outside the city in two days. Some ruined inn on a barely-used road in the woods. Perfect for shady deals—and ambushes. Apparently he won’t have more than a guard or two with him, so he’ll be vulnerable.”

“And how did you get the information?”

“I’m not about to reveal my sources,” Vex said. “Just know I trust them enough.”

“Very encouraging. And what about the buyer? Won’t they be an issue?” Friend or not, Tycho wouldn’t agree to a job blind, especially if it involved a bounty.

“Don’t know much about them. Getting Merv to do a sale in the middle of nowhere with barely any guards means they’ve gotta be somewhat important, though.” Tycho paid close attention to Vex’s expressions, looking for any signs the snake was holding back information. “We won’t be ambushing Merv until after the sale’s finished and the buyer’s gone. They won’t be an issue. Unless letting them get away isn’t righteous enough for you.”

“You know I’m not that kind of paladin,” Tycho grumbled.

“So you’ll help me out?” Vex placed his elbows on the table and clasped his claws together. He let his smile soften, going from smug to hopeful. An act, of course, but it tended to work.

If anyone else had asked, Tycho would’ve bluntly said no. He wanted to believe that could still be the case, but his feelings towards Vex complicated things. “I need to know more, first.” He wished he’d been firmer with the statement. “What kind of skills does Merv have? And what kind of guards?”

“The guards aren’t anything special. He likes them to be competent enough to protect him, but not strong enough to easily do him in and take over the business. Merv himself knows magic and has a fondness for inflating others. He attended the Academy of Zenith’s Mount but didn’t graduate. I’m not sure if he dropped out or was expelled, though. Either way, he’s selling stuff for a living rather than being a mage-for-hire, so his abilities probably aren’t exceptional.”

More than Tycho had expected. Vex’s information clearly came from someone who worked with Merv. That or he’d been stalking the crane.

“My hexes and your luck manipulation will be enough to overwhelm him. Though we may want to bring along a scroll or potion for deflation; just in case.” Vex’s smile widened.

“Are you planning on using me as a decoy and taking him out when he turns me into a balloon?” Tycho asked. He wished he were being sarcastic, but he couldn’t put it past the mischievous snake.

“I wasn’t, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Such a wonderful friend.”

“I do my best~”

“I’m a terrible match against mages, remember?” Tycho favored close-combat. “If I’m caught in the open I will end up inflated.”

“We’ll be in the woods; there’ll be plenty of trees and shrubs for you to hide behind so you won’t have to suffer the indignity of being round for a little bit.” Vex shook his head in amusement. “I’ll handle Merv with my hexes while you handle the guards. It’ll be easy money, I guarantee it.”

Nothing involving mages was ever easy. But decent jobs in the city had been scarce lately, and his gambling winnings were less than stellar. He’d taken riskier-sounding jobs before. “Alright, I’ll do it.”

Vex clapped his claws together in celebration. “I knew you would! Always coming to my rescue like the noble paladin you are.”

Tycho’s face scrunched up and flushed red. Since befriending Vex, he’d discovered it was easy to become simultaneously frustrated and flustered.

The maned wolf arrived with the fresh pitcher of cider. He left
it on the table, accepted a coin from Vex, and then darted off. Tycho held out his mug and Vex refilled it. The fresh taste of cool cider filling his mouth distracted Tycho from the job he’d gotten roped into. He’d make sure Vex paid for at least a couple more pitchers.

A belch rang out, strong enough to rattle Vex’s empty mug. A blue, bloated owl rose into the air a few tables away. The spherical bird slowly rotated before bouncing against the ceiling and letting loose another belch. They drunkenly flapped their wings, a dopey grin on their face.

That better not be me in a couple of days. He returned to his drink, trying his best not to think round thoughts. A futile endeavor in the Jolly Swell.