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One of the last things a certain user on a certain website told me before I never encountered them again was that I meant "fucking nothing" to them. I was angry at that user for a very long time, but now, I believe that was something I needed to be told. Because it opened up my eyes in regard to how obsessed I was with other people's thoughts, opinions, and overall approval.
I did the best I could to explain to others why I draw what I draw and to justify to them why what I draw isn't "problematic". But now I know just how apathetic these kinds of people are when it came to this situation, I decided to just give up trying to get them to understand. It'll always be strange how people online can get so heated about an issue, but at the same time have no real feelings towards it.
It's a dissonance I've had the misfortune of being exposed to for far too long. And once you realize just how meaningless the words and thoughts and opinions of people like that are, you realize just how sad an existence those kinds of people must be living. Which is why I'm glad I never turned out like that, and unlike them, I'm actually passionate about the kind of art I like to make.
A lot of these big artists have no real passion for what they do: They don't really care about the fetishes they feature in their works; they don't indulge the media the characters they make fanart of feature in; and they've drawn themselves into corners where they've got to keep drawing that sort of stuff to stay afloat. And one of biggest reasons I'm leaving FA is because I don't want to fall into that trap.
But one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving FA is because I wish to spend more time drawing what I'm actually passionate about. I can't state what it is here, but considering I'm on Baraag, Pixiv, Ink Bunny, I'm sure you all can deduce what it is. And I've been bullied and labeled for it for a very long time. But I can no longer deny that it's the kind of art I've always wanted to make the most.
To worry about what the little people of these miserable websites think will always be a recipe for disaster. You've got to draw what is truly on your mind, get out what is truly in your head on paper. Because when it's what you truly want to get out there in the world, you're not obliged to explain or justify it to anyone, and you don't have to care for what others who would've always hated you no matter what you make think of it.
The passion I've got for the art I'm into has caused me to cross paths with a lot of monstrous people who've wanted nothing but to destroy me and people like me. And there never has been--and never will be--a time where I've been afraid of them. Especially since I now know just how empty they really are. Just a bunch of perpetually angry people who produce nothing, believe in nothing, talk about nothing, and would fight for nothing.
And I'm afraid I've no more time to waste on little pieces of trash like that.
I started out scared and alone and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Now I'm more confident than ever, I've acquired friends and companions, I know exactly what I wish to do, both inside and outside the Internet, and I'm finally making money from my art. But there's nothing left for me to do on FA. I've written what I needed to write and drawn what I needed to draw. Geometria and The Eye of God are two series I never knew I'd make, but deep down were ideas I've always had, and I'm glad I finally got them out of my system.
But it's time for me to move on what I've truly always wanted to make deep down, but was too afraid to because of what so many people online think. But now I know they don't really care what I think or do, and will always hate me for it and refuse to listen to me about it and will continue to hold grudges against me for it...
I might as well go all out with it.
And let this be a lesson to any and all who're dealing with something like this: If anyone or any group of people is on your case about what you're making, and they're telling you it's problematic and it's wrong and that you're a bad person for it, don't make the same mistake I made and try to talk to them about it. Don't bother explaining it or justifying it, because they're never going to really listen. Because all you've really got to do is this:
MAKE MORE OF IT.
Because you've nothing to prove to anyone, let alone them.
It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, my beautiful friends, companions, and watchers.
With this submission, my days on the Fur Affinity are over.
Farewell.
I did the best I could to explain to others why I draw what I draw and to justify to them why what I draw isn't "problematic". But now I know just how apathetic these kinds of people are when it came to this situation, I decided to just give up trying to get them to understand. It'll always be strange how people online can get so heated about an issue, but at the same time have no real feelings towards it.
It's a dissonance I've had the misfortune of being exposed to for far too long. And once you realize just how meaningless the words and thoughts and opinions of people like that are, you realize just how sad an existence those kinds of people must be living. Which is why I'm glad I never turned out like that, and unlike them, I'm actually passionate about the kind of art I like to make.
A lot of these big artists have no real passion for what they do: They don't really care about the fetishes they feature in their works; they don't indulge the media the characters they make fanart of feature in; and they've drawn themselves into corners where they've got to keep drawing that sort of stuff to stay afloat. And one of biggest reasons I'm leaving FA is because I don't want to fall into that trap.
But one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving FA is because I wish to spend more time drawing what I'm actually passionate about. I can't state what it is here, but considering I'm on Baraag, Pixiv, Ink Bunny, I'm sure you all can deduce what it is. And I've been bullied and labeled for it for a very long time. But I can no longer deny that it's the kind of art I've always wanted to make the most.
To worry about what the little people of these miserable websites think will always be a recipe for disaster. You've got to draw what is truly on your mind, get out what is truly in your head on paper. Because when it's what you truly want to get out there in the world, you're not obliged to explain or justify it to anyone, and you don't have to care for what others who would've always hated you no matter what you make think of it.
The passion I've got for the art I'm into has caused me to cross paths with a lot of monstrous people who've wanted nothing but to destroy me and people like me. And there never has been--and never will be--a time where I've been afraid of them. Especially since I now know just how empty they really are. Just a bunch of perpetually angry people who produce nothing, believe in nothing, talk about nothing, and would fight for nothing.
And I'm afraid I've no more time to waste on little pieces of trash like that.
I started out scared and alone and not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Now I'm more confident than ever, I've acquired friends and companions, I know exactly what I wish to do, both inside and outside the Internet, and I'm finally making money from my art. But there's nothing left for me to do on FA. I've written what I needed to write and drawn what I needed to draw. Geometria and The Eye of God are two series I never knew I'd make, but deep down were ideas I've always had, and I'm glad I finally got them out of my system.
But it's time for me to move on what I've truly always wanted to make deep down, but was too afraid to because of what so many people online think. But now I know they don't really care what I think or do, and will always hate me for it and refuse to listen to me about it and will continue to hold grudges against me for it...
I might as well go all out with it.
And let this be a lesson to any and all who're dealing with something like this: If anyone or any group of people is on your case about what you're making, and they're telling you it's problematic and it's wrong and that you're a bad person for it, don't make the same mistake I made and try to talk to them about it. Don't bother explaining it or justifying it, because they're never going to really listen. Because all you've really got to do is this:
MAKE MORE OF IT.
Because you've nothing to prove to anyone, let alone them.
It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, my beautiful friends, companions, and watchers.
With this submission, my days on the Fur Affinity are over.
Farewell.
Category All / All
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File Size 138.1 kB
It's alright, J-Matt. In the end, I couldn't really save my reputation; the people simply don't care enough to see me for who I am now, and are fine with holding their grudges against me and never acknowledging me again.
And I'm not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to change their minds about me.
You've always treated me well, Matt; you're one of the few who always believed, but I took you and others like you for granted in favor of people who, right from the beginning, never had any hope or faith in me.
That's why I'm proud to state that I can recogni,e how wonderful a person you are now, and that I do, indeed, consider you a friend. And I thank you for everything.
And I'm not going to spend the rest of my life waiting for them to change their minds about me.
You've always treated me well, Matt; you're one of the few who always believed, but I took you and others like you for granted in favor of people who, right from the beginning, never had any hope or faith in me.
That's why I'm proud to state that I can recogni,e how wonderful a person you are now, and that I do, indeed, consider you a friend. And I thank you for everything.
I thank you. Deep down, I didn't want it to come to this, as all I really wanted was for people to understand why I've got the fetishes I've got and why I'm not a bad person for having them. But I became so desperate with being understood and being right that I became overly trusting of wholly apathetic and unreasonable strangers.
But I've now accepted there'll never be a time where these people will understand me. The people of Twitter have failed me; looking back, they were always going to. Right from the beginning, they were never willing to listen or learn, and were always going to just hate and label me for my fetishes and call it a day. That's why there'll never be a time where any of them will ever genuinely talk to me about these things.
And I've been caught up in this cycle of hatred and apathy and miscommunication and bullying for far too long. So now, I'll never attempt to talk to anyone on Twitter again, and I'll never explain or justify my fetishes to anyone on Twitter again. For the people of Twitter have proven to me how meaningless it is to so.
I've no reason to be on a website that houses that kind of community: Apathetic people who've no integrity or willingness to communicate, listen, or take in new perspectives, and are okay with making the same thing endlessly and ultimately stagnating because they're too afraid to try anything different or special.
But I've now accepted there'll never be a time where these people will understand me. The people of Twitter have failed me; looking back, they were always going to. Right from the beginning, they were never willing to listen or learn, and were always going to just hate and label me for my fetishes and call it a day. That's why there'll never be a time where any of them will ever genuinely talk to me about these things.
And I've been caught up in this cycle of hatred and apathy and miscommunication and bullying for far too long. So now, I'll never attempt to talk to anyone on Twitter again, and I'll never explain or justify my fetishes to anyone on Twitter again. For the people of Twitter have proven to me how meaningless it is to so.
I've no reason to be on a website that houses that kind of community: Apathetic people who've no integrity or willingness to communicate, listen, or take in new perspectives, and are okay with making the same thing endlessly and ultimately stagnating because they're too afraid to try anything different or special.
But now I'm on Baraag, InkBunny, and Pixiv. Websites where my fetishes are understood and accepted, as there are others on them who've the same tastes as mine. They aren't perfect places, but I've always resonated with them more. And on them, I don't have to worry about encountering the wrong person and having everything taken from me, just because they don't agree with what I do.
You are a chad. I read all of this and I've been struggling with the same "needing peoples' approval" issue for years. Been bullied, mentally/emotionally abused, and threatened because of it; one past "friend" even resorted to fucking STALINIST TORTURE METHODS to get me to do what they wanted. I barely enjoy what I do anymore aside from the stuff I make for myself and even then I rarely, if ever, post it because of the same aforementioned issue. It's horrible.
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors with...whatever you want to do. Modern internet culture is idiotic and spiteful and I hate it. I'm sorry you almost fell to it too.
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors with...whatever you want to do. Modern internet culture is idiotic and spiteful and I hate it. I'm sorry you almost fell to it too.
It's alright. All I can really do now besides stand by my friends and fetishes, is do the best I can to not turn out like the people I once admired. It's honestly quite heartbreaking how most of the big artists that got me into making digital art and posting it online turned out to be monsters that only care for themselves and will vilify and shun anyone who doesn't fall in line with what they think.
I've allowed my anger for what I couldn't stop or change to drive me to do filthy acts, and I've apologized for them and done my best to atone. But these people will never allow me to truly overcome anything I've done, and I can't be around people like that. Because it'll get to the point where I'll just become like them: Another monster behind a computer screen.
What I've ultimately come to understand from all this, Necro, is this:
Looking to people on the Internet for compassion, understanding, and respect is a fool's errand, for some people on the Internet do not care about these things. Some people on the Internet do not care about anything at all. But not all people on the Internet are like that, and those are the people who will give you a chance. They are the people who are willing to be compassionate, understand you, and respect you. And those are the people whose words, thoughts, and opinions truly matter.
And those are the people you must surround yourself with, in order to live a life that's actually worth living.
I've allowed my anger for what I couldn't stop or change to drive me to do filthy acts, and I've apologized for them and done my best to atone. But these people will never allow me to truly overcome anything I've done, and I can't be around people like that. Because it'll get to the point where I'll just become like them: Another monster behind a computer screen.
What I've ultimately come to understand from all this, Necro, is this:
Looking to people on the Internet for compassion, understanding, and respect is a fool's errand, for some people on the Internet do not care about these things. Some people on the Internet do not care about anything at all. But not all people on the Internet are like that, and those are the people who will give you a chance. They are the people who are willing to be compassionate, understand you, and respect you. And those are the people whose words, thoughts, and opinions truly matter.
And those are the people you must surround yourself with, in order to live a life that's actually worth living.
Wherever you go, I wish you the best of luck and success out there, you have always been an inspiring person to me. You are one of the people that go above and beyond with their freedom of speech, you are also extremely expressive. I hope you've enjoyed this website and stay cool!
- Trevor ;)
- Trevor ;)
Cringe. Mental health aside, you drew plenty of racist stuff and the problem was not the kink itself but the way you presented it on the world around. All you had to do was just making sure people knew that was a kink and not you worldview, that is it. Hope your next ventures will be more thought out.
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