As 2025 comes to a close, I want to take the time to properly reflect on this year, both the moments I am incredibly proud of and the ones that nearly broke me.

There were a lot of genuinely good things this year. In January, I released my second-ever VRChat movie project with   IceWolf: Accidental Transmission. That project ended up opening doors I never expected, and by March, I was hired by IceWolf to edit VRChat videos full-time. Being trusted with that kind of work and responsibility still means more to me than I can really put into words.
In February, I had the opportunity to be part of a big charity stream where we raised a little over $2,000 for the Leukemia Research Foundation. That experience reminded me why community matters so much, and how powerful people can be when they come together for a good cause.
Throughout the year, I made a *lot* of shorts for BFG. Seeing people genuinely enjoy them, share them, and respond positively helped keep me going during times when my motivation was barely holding on. I also joined the First Act crew to work on the Heroid, which taught me things creatively and technically in ways I am forever grateful for.
Additionally, I released my first major coding project: Blender Shapekey Add-Ons. Shipping something of that scale for the first time was both terrifying and exciting, and knowing that people are using it still feels surreal. With that said, the v1.5 update is very close, and I am excited to share more soon. I also managed to hit milestones I never really thought I would reach, from surpassing 500 followers just a couple of days ago on Twitch to breaking through 3k followers on Twitter and creeping closer to 3.5k.
Oh yeah, and I turned 20 in August. How time flies.

At the same time, this year was also incredibly hard.

In February, I lost my cat, Cinnamon. That loss still hurts deeply, and it is something I carry with me every single day. In March, I had to quit my job, and since then, I have been unemployed and searching desperately for something stable. I've had to deal with targeted harassment, had my PC completely break down when I relied on it for freelance and editing work, and got severely sick for several months, which made it difficult just to function, let alone stay active or creative.
I also lost a couple of close friends this year, and my ongoing battle with depression and anxiety intensified more than I was prepared for. My depression has since been formally diagnosed as a disability, and as a result of that and other circumstances, I am being forced to leave my apartment. After living on my own for over a year (and somehow still being alive, yay), I will be relocating to a more restrictive residential setting with significantly less privacy and freedom.
Because of this, moving forward, I will most likely be less active, at least for a while. That is not what I want, and it is not something I am choosing lightly, but it is the reality I am facing. I still want to create, and I still care deeply about my work and the people I have met through it. Things may just be quieter, slower, and less consistent as I adjust and try to find some footing again.

Even with everything this year threw at me, I am still here. Still trying. Still creating in whatever ways I can. Some days, that feels like an achievement on its own.
To everyone who supported me, encouraged me, worked with me, or simply stayed around even when I was quieter than usual, thank you. I genuinely would not have made it through this year without you, and I do not take that support for granted.

Much love, Lupis 💜