one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he’s 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute “tall”
once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as “gandalf and the hobbits” and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that
told him i made this post and he’s still insistent that he isn’t tall
bf: i’m not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street
me: they aren’t
bf: but i can see their faces! if i’m looking at their faces they must be the same height
me: you’re looking down slightly babe
bf: why would i do that
me: because you’re tall
incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i’m “normally that short”
if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver
Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.
he wears glasses he’s just dumb
update to this post from yesterday:
bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6’ tall me: yes……..? bf: that isn’t very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i’m tall aren’t i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6’ 0.5". you are tall by “kingdom of giants” standards, even. but we live on “shortarse island”, so… bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4
he is he’s very pretty
Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons….
having watched emperors new groove (it’s my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs
which is to say that yes, he is kronk
fun fact they’re both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts
Best attribute you can have working with kids is chillness. You can and should still enforce rules and expectations, but kids pick up massively on vibes and if you are chill, you become a dam to unchillness
Sometimes kids don’t need to hear “this behavior is unacceptable,” sometimes they need to hear “bruh.”
If you establish really clear expectations from the get-go, kids usually don’t actually need any second explanation. You can just say “dude” and they will self-correct unless they are actively trying to be disruptive.
“Guys if you don’t behave I’m not going to do the Fortnite dance for you anymore.”
“NOOOOOOOOO”
Also if you sincerely commit to being chill 99.9% of the time, they will take that remaining 0.1% WAY more seriously when it’s actually most essential. (For me this line is crossed with unwanted violence or sexual behavior toward other students, but depending on the age group the line may be drawn elsewhere: for young children it is probably more centered around dangerous behavior and personal risk.)
Also another thing is if your immediate response to everything is freaking out and yelling at the person they’re like. Gonna be scared of telling you that they fucked up.
Like rationally, I know that the best person to solve my fuckups is my mother, but I am so deathly scared of the conversation going like
“mom I accidentally broke a glass can you please help me clean it up?”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING BREAKING GLASSES GOD CAN’T YOU BE MORE CAREFUL YOU COULDVE HURT YOURSELF WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE FUCK I WANTED TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING RIGHT NOW BUT NOOO I HAVE TO CLEAN UP GLASS”
Like, she would most likely help me afterwards, but as a very anxious person, I would do anything to avoid the initial yelling part.
I will try solving a literal house fire by myself before calling for help because even though I rationally know that the firefighters wouldn’t yell at me for being a fucking idiot, I am subconsciously expecting them to, because that’s what the person who does most things for me aka my mother does.
Please dear god if you can’t take a chill pill please reconsider having kids you’re only gonna traumatise them
Apparently ICE now has agents posing as utility workers to get into people’s homes. The electric and gas companies have posted information on how to tell if it’s one of their workers, and numbers to call to confirm whether they’ve sent someone to do utility work on your house.
Some people have shared stories of suspicious “sales representatives” knocking on homes, asking about the home owners and who lives there, fishing for phone numbers, but do not provide business cards, company id, company phone numbers, etc when asked.
They come in pairs, never one person though one may hag back a bit. They have been seen using cars with significantly tinted windows, no business logos anywhere on the vehicle, or parking close to the home they walked up to only to drive away right after without visiting other homes, almost as if they’re not real sales people.
True door to door salespeople need a sort of peddler’s license, subject to city and county law, to solicit at your door. You can ask to see this permit. If they don’t provide one or make an excuse, they are likely bogus.
They wear a jacket with a company logo but likely don’t wear name tags and the Don’t provide id.
Tell them you’ll call the company about a noncompliant representative. Make them leave. Better yet not to open the door to them, and tell them nothing.
Actual sales reps also generally do follow “no soliciting” signs. Be aware, be safe, don’t give out your information or that of others under duplicitous means.
one of my favorite things to do in limited perspective is write sentences about the things someone doesn’t do. he doesn’t open his eyes. he doesn’t reach out. i LOVE sentences like that. if it’s describing the narrator, it’s a reflection of their desires, something they’re holding themselves back from. there’s a tension between urge and action. it makes you ask why they wanted or felt compelled to do that, and also why they ultimately didn’t. and if it’s describing someone else, it tells you about the narrator’s expectations. how they perceive that other person or their relationship. what they thought the other person was going to do, or thought the other person should have done, but failed to. negative action sentences are everything.
There is nothing wrong with having low/no empathy. It doesn’t mean that you’re an abuser. It didn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you don’t care about others. Your choices and how you treat others determine who you are.
You’re not a bad person if it takes genuine effort to be compassionate and kind to others. Sometimes those things do take up energy or don’t come naturally to everyone and that’s ok.
If it doesn’t come easy but you still try anyway it makes you more moral, not less
dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping
not my best work
Anonymous asked:
is it bad if I read non-con despite never having been raped before? Like if I read it for enjoyment, am I a bad person? I'm worried there's something wrong with me
I love writing and reading non-con, and I was never raped before. (most of my fics are about my favorite fictional characters getting raped.) I also write about murders and cannibalism, but I was never murdered or cannibalized before, nor have I ever actually consumed human’s flesh.
with all due respect, this “purity mindset” is both hilarious and sad. let yourself enjoy fucked up things in fiction. it’s okay. thought crimes are never real. no puppy is being kicked and no one in real life is being harmed because you read a silly fanfiction about a fictional character getting brutally raped. jerk off to it if you want to. romanticize and glorify it if it makes you happy. as long as it stays fiction and fantasies—as long as you don’t actually go out there and rape anyone in real life—it’s completely fine. it’s also normal for humans to seek enjoyment in things that are disturbing, or else there would be no horror movies. stop applying moral values to art, fiction and fantasies. stop being your own cop.
THIS IS ACTUALLY DISGUSTING YOU PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING???
BEING DISGUSTING IS HOT. REBLOG TO BE MORE DISGUSTING TOGETHER
coworker today was talking about how she tries to drive less to reduce her carbon footprint, so instead of ordering takeout she orders delivery. when I pointed out that this actually results in the exact same amount of emissions because the same amount of driving happens she said “yeah but it’s not me driving.” and I feel like any critique of progressive individualism I could make based on this would fall flat because like. what else is there to say? she summed up the flaws of individualist environmentalism better than most critics could, without intending to.
Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. “It’s all there,” he said with a shit-eating grin, “you can count it.”
Oh buddy. We’re going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
“Ruining someone’s day” is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him “Untraceable,” the other half is calling him “Quarter Boy” and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer’s tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying “oh here, hold this for a sec” and then watching they weren’t ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn’t hurt them).
It’s an infosec conference, so it’s a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
