Geokeeper

re-posting bc reblogs got turned off etc

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

OP the tags!!

*encountering 2 butterflies that appear to be either fucking or murdering each other on the sidewalk* buddy im not sure exactly what you're up to but this is a public walkway u can't do that here

Flying Fuck given.

saw this picture last night and i thought it was so beautiful that it made me emotional So i'm sharing it with you 🤲 (<- hands it to u like that)

Annotated to distinguish the various crappy blobs.  The turtles are innocent bystanders.

her royal majesty New Document, (1) (1) (1) (1) (1) (1)th of her name

Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

FTR it was 17 minutes from "arriving at the bag claim" to claiming my bag, so right on time.

Someone tagged this post "#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour" which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don't want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!

On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself "No, it's only been five minutes," but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.

If I'm put into an exam room in a doctor's office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor's office before, I get nervous that I'll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me "No, they haven't forgotten you, it's only been 10 minutes." But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it's justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what's going on.

At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don't get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention -- looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I'm at the right carousel. Maybe don't worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it'll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it'll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.

Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn't shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it's time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it's time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it's accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go "man this is taking a long time" and then actually go ask, because I wouldn't actually know how long it had been.

The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying -- essentially, because I'm both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I've outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it's actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It's not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it's longer than I'd usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.

I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn't know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.

just want to add that I've started timing myself doing everyday chores and tasks and having a more realistic, personalized idea of how long things take has helped a lot with my time blindness.

I only just started, and it's not yet habitual, so there's only a small bit of info, but it's already made it easier to avoid rushing or getting stuck in waiting mode because it takes out a lot of the guesswork.

And it lets me have grace for myself when something is really taking it out of me. I'm right, this *is* taking forever and it isn't usually this hard, so what's going on? Do I need to rest? Eat? Did I forget my meds? Am I overwhelmed? Etc.

I feel like a scientist gathering and applying data.

Showers on typical days only take "about ten minutes" (me, 2025), therefore, I CAN shower before my appointment that's two hours away.

Contrary to popular belief, doing a quick tidy takes "less than half an hour" (me, 2026) and will not take the better part of a day. I don't need to dread or put it off because I can start a 20min episode and I'll be done before the credits roll.

The proposed estimate of "10-30 miserable minutes in the cold when the warm blankets are right there" (time blindness and depression, 2024), is erroneous, and based on pre-medicated data. As tempting as it is to go straight back to bed after peeing, my research shows that brushing teeth, including "prep and cleanup," rarely takes more than four minutes and may even improve morale and momentum when getting up for the day.

This is awesome and hey guess what: you ARE a scientist gathering and applying data!

I'm super proud of you and everyone who is working to keep their lives together in the face of disability and the general horrors of the world right now. Keep up the great work! And if things slip a little that's ok too. None of us are perfect. Just keep taking notes...for SCIENCE!

When I was in middle school, I really wanted a rat and my mama got me one before I had the chance to do any research, and I named him Mildew, and then I learned that rats get all fucked up if they don't have a buddy, so I got him a brother and I named the brother Dildew. Something to consider if you are currently pregnant with twins.

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event

Holy fuck you illegally downloaded a cardigan

forget cannibalism it bums me out that i will probably never be able to ethically eat like, a flamingo

Penguin flippers, Kiwi breast, elephant trunk steak, that kind of stuff?

you jest but now I'm genuinely curious what penguin meat would taste like under all that blubber. would it retain any "bird" flavor or would it be more similar to marine mammals??? i don't actually want to eat a penguin to be clear, you've simply sparked my curiosity

My grandfather reported that they taste like fishy rubber boiled in motor oil. So bad that he only tried it once despite being on a ship in the Antarctic ocean for months on end. 1940s dry rations were preferable to fresh penguin.

Ok so I tried something similar today during work.

Pretty much most marine birds who mainly have fish in their diet taste pretty similar.

I tried a number of auk species (those include things like puffins, little auks, guillemots, razorbills ect.) And when boiled they both smell and taste kind of like wet Catfood and have dark meat.

Pretty gross and not reccomedable.

I could imagine its fair to assume penguin meat will not taste much different, though I can't give first hand accounts.

BUT i live in a place where people used to hunt and eat young gulls and they supposedly tasted good ( biggest lie ive ever heard).

I think with most of these marine bird species you really only eat them when you NEED to or go through a longer process of trying to get rid of the fishy taste by keeping them in milk baths or vinegar.

God I love Apothecary Diaries. Maomao is like a dog with a mouth full of Lego bricks to me. Babygirl don’t eat that

So imagine you go to a brothel and when you get there it’s full of beautiful women but then also there’s this dog. And when you ask “hey what’s with the dog” they’re like oh the dog, we love the dog, everybody loves the dog, the dog collects rocks from the yard. And you’re like “okay” but later you find the dog gathering piles of rocks and cementing them into a beautiful river-stone wall to protect the building. And you’re like “I didn’t even know dogs could do that”. And they’re like “that’s nothing, check this out” and then the dog starts doing multiplication with the rocks. You’re like “what the fuck” and they go “nahh she’s just getting started”. And they start giving the dog complex mathematical formulas that the dog answers by laying out the rocks. And you go “holy shit that’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen”. And they go “it’s the smartest dog in the world” and you’re like “wow that’s amazing”. And then you look outside and the dog is eating the rocks. And you’re like “can the dog eat rocks?”. And they’re like “no”

One day you find out the dog went missing. “We don’t know where the dog went but we miss the dog”, the beautiful women tell you. A year later the dog comes back. The dog is accompanied by the Duke of wales. “My gardener stole this dog but now I would like to buy it”, he says. “The dog has built me a beautiful castle and solved the viscount’s mysterious murder.” You aren’t sure how the dog did that by stacking rocks but you’re still incredibly impressed. The beautiful women are so happy to see the dog again. “Did you know that the dog can ride a bike?” The Duke asks. You look at the dog. The dog is obviously concealing a mouth full of gravel

This is the post that enticed me to watch apothecary diaries and now that I am watching apothecary diaries I am constantly pointing at the very deliberately cat-coded character, whose name is 'cat-cat', and shouting 'this dog can EAT ROCKS?'.

I’ve gotten so many messages about this post because Maomao is EXPLICITLY cat-coded with cat motifs and cat associations with cat jokes but the truth is there was no energy I could think of that captured her baffling aura like a large old farm dog dog eating a rock. Cat eating plastic? Cat opening doors? Cat eating legos? No, she is my grandpa’s very clever old sheepdog who would roll his eyes at you and tiredly and patiently perform very human tasks as you asked him to like a 56 year old underpaid chain-smoking senior retail colleague and then turn around and try and eat a rock. In a world of elegant show-breed cats she is a cat yes but also The Most Dog cat there ever was. And she’s eating rocks

Yeah actually, one day you give the dog a bath and it’s the most majestic giant Norwegian forest cat you’ve ever seen in your entire life. But☝️it’s still an absolute FIEND for eating rocks