The thing about ADHD is that the “lack of reward chemicals in your brain” doesn’t just mean that you don’t want to do any tasks that don’t feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like “doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That.” The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you’re dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.
With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, “I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die” feels like a SAW trap, every single time.
Articles written by neurotypicals will be like “ADHD children find the external motivation of the SAW traps is very effective. Here’s how to build SAW traps to maximize their productivity.”
I think acting like heated rivalry is cringe and unimportant is in and of itself cringe and i think acting like you’re cool for not watching a tv show is even cringier
[screaming from the rooftops] IT’S NOT THE SEX THAT MAKES HEATED RIVALRY SO HOT, IT’S THE SLOW BURN OF TWO HEAVILY REPRESSED INDIVIDUALS LEARNING TO SHED THE SOCIAL BINDS THAT TRAP THEM BECAUSE THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER OVERPOWERS THEIR DEEPLY ENGRAINED FEAR
I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like “wait a minute.. that’s joe biden!!” amd he was like “welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!” and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like “That was a close call, Mr President” and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice
ugh we need more manipulative characters that aren’t evil. lie and cheat and steal for a good cause. control every narrative. use narcissism for justice. ruin all of your personal relationships for the good of the mission.
Fic idea where Hayden Pike and Cliff Marlow are at a party together drunk and while chirping discover they have way too much common knowledge about Ilya and Shane between them so they start amateur detective-ing and accidentally realise that hollanov have been dating for like 10 years.
I’m seeing a lot about how shane being surprised at ilya saying “boyfriend” after all they’ve been through is funny, but not a lot about how his being surprised when ilya says “i love you” is deeply similar but much more devastating. like the “holy shit” before saying i love you back is load bearing to me. this being his immediate response makes it seem like, even after everything they’ve been through and everything short of “i love you” that’s been said already, shane is still surprised that ilya loves him. or at least surprised that he said it.
the delay in shane saying “i love you” back is also devastatingly autistic of him imo. like even if he’s not surprised that ilya would love him at this point he still wasn’t expecting it just then and wasn’t prepared to react right away. he needed a second to process and realize he needs to say it back. and the repercussions of this (ilya being so deeply terrified and trying to walk back what he said) are so devastating. but like also thats so real? sometimes you just can’t say the right thing when you’re supposed to. even when you do love him. and that can be terrifying for someone who doesn’t know where they stand with you. they have to wait for you to process the situation and that waiting kills them.
but when shane catches up and doesn’t just say “i love you too” but also “god i love you so much” that doubling down is like a thank you for giving me time to process. of course he sees the terror in ilya when he tries to walk it back but in doubling down he tries to make up for causing that terror. like here’s what i was supposed to say. i know that now. and i need you to know that i mean it even if it took me a second. im sorry i scared you. 10/10 autism representation. also ilya is so brave for dealing with that.
Love “you’re starting to sound like him” because he IS. Shane Hollander mirrors like all hell, in casual conversation, in intimacy, in shit talk. His posture changes/he starts carrying himself more like Ilya. He gets quippier. he grabs Ilya’s pecs during sex because Ilya grabbed his. Watch the show and watch how his patterns change, because Hudson Williams is an excellent actor who pays attention to that. Most accurate and piercing thing Scott could’ve said
