my bf and I have the same fucking brain

Quiplash is the greatest game ever made because it allows for things like this and you can’t change my mind.

question was how to get kicked out of hogwarts

bonus:

gaslight (1944) / interview with the vampire s1ep4-s2ep8 (2022-2024) pt 2 (pt 1)

lestat grabbing armand's shirt when he feels his fangs go in playing in my head on a constant loop

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

Foeplay*

where’s that post about the OWCA agents just being emotional support animals for the “evil” scientists

HERE

I’m surprised at how nobody mentioned how much the show ships them itself. It’s not just the fans’ whim

In conclusion: The show wants you to ship them

EVERYBODY WAKE UP. It’s canon now. (one sided at least) Checkmate. The post is over

I FINALLY SAW THIS IN PERSON AND IT’S GOTTEN EVEN BETTER!!!

IT JUST KEEPS GOING???

Do you like the colors of Perryshmirtz?

phineas and ferb heritage post

I apologize I was expecting a day of depressed brooding and silently crying in my room not Perryshmirtz: a deep dive into quite possibly most fascinating and unique relationships in modern media

armand is off spiraling from the worst combo case of post-nut clarity and postpartum depression scientists have ever seen meanwhile daniel is having the time of his life using vampirism to terrorize his professional rivals and prove you’re never too old to be bisexual

i do NOT write for myself i write for the eleven year old girl walking circles on the playground making up stories in her head and muttering the dialogue out loud. i see you girl. that stick you found DOES look like a cool dagger.

gotta be honest I think a REAL juicy dynamic is when someone has a True Love and a Soulmate and they are two different people

see this person is the love of my life I would follow them anywhere every day is brighter for having them in it. and THIS bastard shares a soul with me we'll find each other in every universe and understand each other in ways no other living being could. neither of us are particularly thrilled about this

yuri shipping

update!

for everyone else who wants to see better pics of the most beautiful ship in the world

JK Rowling will die alone in that castle of hers, surrounded by no one. sure, she'll get a few days of attention and Harry Potter will be popular for a bit, but by the end of the month everyone will have moved on. she won't be remembered as a visionary who wrote a popular book series 20 years ago, she'll be remembered as a bigot who put down trans women and other cis women for the sake of some "agenda". She isn't a feminist. She's a bigot grafting the skin of an actually helpful political movement onto herself to pretend she cares about women.

Trans people, keep going. We'll outlive her. this law will get overturned. we have to keep moving forward

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

But queer is more inclusive

And faster to pronounce if you are talking instead of writing.

It’s not more inclusive, and if your excuse of using a slur as a blanket term is “it’s faster to say”, GENUINELY what is wrong with you

It’s called economía del lenguaje.

It’s also the respected academic term?? The acronym isn’t static and it’s usage is varied by things like generational difference, location, and knowledge of the community. Even just in the U.S. in the last few decades the common usage gone from GLBT to LGBT to LGBTQ, to LGBTQA/LGBTQIA/LGBTQIAP/etc (Which, let me tell you as someone who has given presentations in the past using these updated acronyms, are all real mouthfulls), to LGBT+.

Also yes, queer is more inclusive! Especially coming at it from an academic standpoint, people didn’t always use or identify with the terms we use now and you can’t always try to cram them into our modern perceptions of sexuality. We can argue for years about whether a famous historical figure was gay or bisexual or straight and trans or whatever, but if we can all agree that they were somehow queer then using that term allows us to move past the debate and into productive discussion. And not everybody everywhere shares the same terms for sexual and gender identity, or even the same concepts of those things, so queer really is a more inclusive term in a lot of cases.

Like yeah if you’re talking specifically about gay or trans people you can just say gay or transgender, but if you’re talking about more than one identity or someone who doesn’t conform to our perceptions of ‘LGBT,’ or a person or people whose identity you don’t know, queer is just the better word.

“That’s SO gay”, “Oh my god, you’re not a LESBIAN, are you?”

Your words are slurs, too. Why do you get your words, but I don’t get mine? What makes you so special?

I’m here, I’m queer, go fuck yourself.

queer is not a slur, stop drinking the TERF koolaid

every time one of you fools spout about ‘queer is a slur’ a terf laughs because their fucking plan to make that word ‘taboo’ is fucking working you dipshit.

I did not get my degree in queer literature for you all to keep pulling this bullshit.

baby gays,,,, i beg of you to learn your queer history and stop listening to terf bullshit

every single one of our labels has been used as a slur against us.

terfs and -phobes are always going to try and hurt us with what we identify as. but the fact remains these are OUR labels and always have been.

we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.

I don’t know if this is just because I’m not American but I’ve never heard queer used as a slur. Ever. Meanwhile gay was the insult in the 2000s here. Everything you didn’t like was ‘soo gay’. Queer wasn’t even a word most of us knew back then.

It just baffled me that people would think an identifier is automatically a slur just because someone uses it to mock someone. If we did that gay would be a slur. Stupid would be a slur. Autistic would be a slur.

The reason people are upset about the word queer is that it’s a unifying term. You can say you’re queer and all people will know is that you’re part of the community. But you can’t say you’re LGBT, you have to say you’re gay or trans or ace. They don’t want you to be ambiguously queer. They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

yeah in the 90s and early 2000s kids would call each other “gay” as an insult. But no one ties themselves in knots over whether “gay” is a slur. So yeah, please ffs learn your history.

They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re allowed to live.

I know, for me, I knew I was queer long before I knew I was trans or bisexual. It gave me the space to explore my identity and sexuality without having to commit to a label. Even now “bisexual” doesn’t fit me entirely, not because my sexuality doesn’t match the description, but because I don’t feel it fits the nuance of what I am. But the one thing I know is that I’m queer and no one can take that away from me.

Marking the text red so people might be able to read it and learn something. It's not even a "new" interview, some of you just have a habit of ignoring what he says since........ Always. Bcuz he doesn't match what you want.

If no one gets me, Jacob Anderson does

Just thinking about young Daniel hearing about vampirism and seeing it as a way to be able to truly live his life in the way he pretends to, to take take off the mask of not caring and doing what he wants to actually be able to not care and do what he wants—without needing drugs or alcohol to cover up his shame and fear, without excuses and posturing, because no one (or at least no human) will be able to hurt him if he’s a vampire.

And thinking about Daniel becoming older and burying everything deeper and deeper, trying to do the married with kids thing and failing, and wearing flannel and cardigans and suits, and doing the teaching thing because that’s more stable than running around being a freelancer, and always putting on this character of snarky bravado, and never quite feeling real. Not because he isn’t an asshole and he isn’t reckless and he isn’t sarcastic, but because he is projecting this particular version of those things because he wishes he could be entirely himself without the hang ups of growing up in the 50s with an alcoholic father and a pill popping mother, without the internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity that came with being a skinny queer kid in the 60s who did a pretty okay job of acting straight-ish but who had dainty hands and didn’t do sports, without the fear instilled in him by being a drug user and closeted bisexual man in the 80s during the AIDS crisis.

Because yes, Daniel Molloy is an asshole. And yes, Daniel Molloy plays fast and loose with his life. But despite it all, he cares, because he has to (because he didn’t want to get beat up, because he needed a job, because he’s a man with a neurodegenerative disease who needs health care) about how other people see him.

But inside, under the cisheteronormative ideas about masculinity and acceptable behavior, he wishes his mask of indifference to social norms actually meant that he could be the man he is inside—the one that is attracted to men, the one who can ask for the validation he needs, the one who isn’t cut out for being the breadwinning husband and dutiful father but who can still beloved—because all of it has always been a way to put up a front of invulnerability in a world where he couldn’t be vulnerable.

Vampirism as giving Daniel Molloy the invulnerability he needs to be vulnerable.

Claudia’s lack of remorse for killing Lestat, and why it’s radical

CW: discussion of misogyny and anti-Black racism

Original thread on twitter

The fact that Claudia, in amc iwtv and the iwtv book, not only does not feel remorse for killing Lestat, but refuses to, is one of my favourite aspects of her character, and what makes her such a groundbreaking and definitive character in the gothic genre.

In general in media, women characters and Black characters, particularly those who are morally grey, are often denounced as unlikeable or unworthy of empathy for their actions by audiences and fandoms. Meanwhile, men and white characters are given the space to be villainous and still remain likeable, even redeemable. In gothic horror, women are often fainting damsels in distress, perpetually virtuous victims, or the evil femme fatale. Femme fatales have power that they wield through their sexuality primarily. Any violence they commit or intellect they possess is defined by their use of seduction to enact their goals.

Claudia in all versions of iwtv is something different. She is a woman, in a little girls body, who is allowed to be cruel and violent, without the narrative attempting to make her more likeable and palatable through remorse.

A common way to make audiences feel sympathy for a morally grey character is through portraying their remorse for their crimes. While this adds nuance to their character, it makes them more palatable by showing audiences that they are not truly evil, and are capable of repentance. In iwtv, Louis and Lestat for into this archetype, haunted by their mistakes and wrongdoings, overwhelmed by guilt, desperate for redemption.

Women are also demanded to feel remorseful for not behaving as women ought to. An evergreen example is Lady Macbeth. While wielding power through her manipulation of Macbeth, she is brought down a peg by her overwhelming guilt and psychosis, until she commits suicide, effectively punishing herself for her crimes.

Claudia is not held to this standard. The narrative does not force her to regret killing Lestat, feel remorse, or beg for his forgiveness. Claudia’s decision to kill Lestat puts herself first. Her goal is to gain an independent life for herself with Louis, away from Lestats abuse and tyranny. The only way for them to escape and gain the freedom to be their own people is to kill Lestat. In the show, Lestat had already committed violence when they considered leaving him. In my opinion, in both the show and the book, Lestat in this state in NOLA would never let Louis and Claudia leave him. The narrative makes it clear that Claudia’s actions are necessary. She kills her abusive father to secure her own future, and to help her other father escape from his abusive partner.

Furthermore, Claudia’s murder of Lestat is her act of revenge him turning her, trapping her in the body of a child forever. In this sense, reclaims some of the power that was stolen from her during her turning, breaking apart the family she was supposed to bring back together. (Further nuance is added to this in Merrick, but that’s another conversation I will have at some point.)

Claudias act of murder is achieved through her intellect. She outsmarts Lestat herself, tricking him with an extensive plan that preys on his ego and cruelty. The fact she doesn’t use her sexuality, or seduce anybody, sets her apart from the femme fatale, allowing her to be a new type of gothic woman. She is allowed to revel in her violence and enjoy her victory, no concern being given to making her appear “palatable.” In fact, she delights in being unpalatable.

At this point in the story, many women characters would be forced to feel guilt/experience mental illness in order to make them more palatable to audiences. Claudia doesn’t do this. She never regrets her decision to kill Lestat. She knows that her actions were essential to saving herself and Louis and creating their life in Paris. It is Louis, a man, who experiences the Lady Macbeth guilt and remorse that women are forced to. He hallucinates lestat, and is wracked by guilt and regret for killing the love of his life. Claudia by contrast is the holding him together.

The show adds even more nuance to this idea through Claudia’s Blackness. When Lestat, a white man, expresses his remorse and shame for his abuse of Louis at the extremely racist show trial/ lynching, the audience (in the show and irl) are overcome. He is given empathy and understanding for admitting his wrongdoing. He is not on show trial for his crimes, awaiting execution for also breaking the great laws; the audience have forgiven him

But Claudia is aware that as a Black woman, in the body of a teenage girl, she is not afforded this grace, by the play audience, by the false narrative pushed by the play script, or historically by general audiences.

The narrative asks why should Claudia feel remorse, when that remorse will not bring her the empathy of white audiences, or save her life? Why should she feel remorse for doing what was essential for her freedom and survival? Why should she feel remorse for choosing herself, the way every man around her has done for their entire lives?

Claudia never apologizes to Lestat, expresses remorse, or begs for her life. For this, she is punished and found guilty by the play audience, Armand and the coven utilising their racism, misogyny, and victim blaming to first dehumanise Claudia, then lynch her. Obviously, Claudia’s murder occurs so that Anne Rice and the show can explore the key themes of parental grief and child loss, but within the story it is a punishment for not being the perfect victim.

None of this negates Claudia’s love for Lestat. Claudia would much rather have Lestat be a loving, supportive father to her, than be forced to kill him. But that was not the situation Lestat put her in. The narrative makes it clear that this is Lestat’s fault, not Claudia’s. Lestat admires her for having the strength to kill her abusive father, because when he was in this situation, he couldn’t do it.

Claudia never backs down. The trial may punish her, but the narrative supports her actions. Rather than apologising to Lestat in her final moments, she look into his she’s, asking her father why he isn’t helping her. She doesn’t beg for his forgiveness or repent; she reminds us and Lestat that he was the one who failed her.

Claudia is a rare character who is not concerned about appearing palatable or moral to anybody. She is confident in her reasoning and unshakable in her beliefs. Not stubborn, but brave. This is why Claudia has been such an important and influential figure in gothic horror since 1976, and her show iteration continues to highlight the double standards applied to women characters, particularly Black women.

(And why she’s one of my favourite characters of all time :) )

(I originally posted this as a thread on twitter, but I’m reposting here to keep all my analysis together, and the format is better. I also wrote this before reading Merrick, so didn’t include the information it provides. This is more iwtv and og iwtv book focused.)