1. |
hospital ward
04:32
|
|||
|
how many more times will you wake up
can you taste the charcoal in your guts
sometimes the only thing that kept me
out of that place was remembering how it felt when i saw your face
as you smiled your lips bled
i can’t remember a word i said
but i remember the look of the pavement outside
wet from rain, light reflecting in blue and red
the way the sheets wrinkled in your hospital bed
the joke you made as you pulled your phone from your bra
i laughed but i wanted to disintegrate
and more than anything i hate
the look that you gave me when you heard my voice shake
and I knew that you knew that my laughter was fake
guess there’s not much more you can ask for
from a stupid kid trying to be brave
clenched my fists so hard it hurt
talking to you in the hospital ward
my heart beat so hard that i thought it’d burst
trying to cheer you up in the hospital ward
how many more times
will you wake up
can you taste the charcoal
in your guts
|
||||
2. |
i guess
02:42
|
|||
|
sometimes i wish that i could believe
that you are safe somewhere watching me
but if that was true, i don’t think that you
would approve of my psychology
did you remember
sitting in your van
to escape the fighting
when you took my hand and you said
i guess
we’re the only normal ones left
i think i laughed
and avoided your gaze
i guess
you were only doing your best
with the tools
that you had at hand
and i have a tendency to misunderstand
so if you are to watch over me
you’d see what in life you failed to see
or you could ignore, like you did before
that i am a fucking freak
i guess
we’re the only normal ones left
i think i laughed
and avoided your gaze
i guess
you were only doing your best
with the tools
that you had at hand
and i have a tendency to misunderstand
|
||||
3. |
art piece
02:07
|
|||
|
one of many times i pressed a sharpened kiss
across my thighs and over my hips
smudged my blood on the wall and it stayed there for years
no one but me ever saw that dried up red smear
we’re getting strewn up in our most wicked thoughts
trying to break free picking at the knots
till our fingers bleed paint our bodies red
an art piece looking back at us from the wall over our bed
gonna wipe down that wall but the stain will remain
dedicated to the memory of white hot pain
your skeletons are yours, my skeletons are mine
in a thousand years scientists study our bones intertwined
we’re getting strewn up in our most wicked thoughts
trying to break free picking at the knots
till our fingers bleed paint our bodies red
an art piece looking back at us from the wall over our bed
took a while to learn how to project my voice
ventriloquism’s hard when you’re shouting white noise
white noise
|
||||
4. |
ugly doll
04:10
|
|||
|
i think i want to be an ugly doll
let the sun disintegrate it all
cut my hair until i can’t be saved
blow your smoke into my ugly face
i think i wanna be an ugly doll
i think i wanna be a broken girl
i think i wanna be an awful boy
i think i wanna be a fucking curse
break me down and build me up again
swap the pieces to your heart’s content
kiss the breath into my empty lungs
if you want to you can bite my tongue
i think i wanna be an ugly doll
i think i wanna be a broken girl
i think i wanna be an awful boy
i think i wanna be a fucking curse
don’t put me on display
you’ve set me up to fail
i’m picking at my face
the dirt beneath my nails
but can you see right through me
your piercing stare is painful
no matter what, i’ll never be
a pretty porcelain angel
so throw me out the car window
the wind will catch my limbs
i’ll fly before you drop me
and smile when the concrete cracks my skin
i think i wanna be an ugly doll
i think i wanna be a broken girl
i think i wanna be an awful boy
i think i wanna be a fucking curse
i think i never wanna think at all
i never wanna think at all
i never wanna think at all
…i wanna be an ugly doll
|
||||
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