five months after I joined ao3 to ‘bookmark fics and maybe write a drabble or two’ and I just hit the 120k mark (in my defence, lockdown was a lot more stressful than I anticipated)
anyhow my pseudonym’s starryeyedknight on here: hit me up for Fellowship shenanigans, hobbits being sarcastic at each other, or footballers being cute together
[unicorn fuck club] JRR Tolkien: sorry chaps I can’t speak tonight Tolkien: i’m afraid i’m quite busy at my day job Tolkien: being a professor at oxford CS Lewis: wow, a professor AND a writer? must be hard Tolkien: you have no idea
Tolkien: let me tell you Tolkien: being a professor is no cake walk CS Lewis: oh? Tolkien: yeah, see Tolkien: there’s this one really annoying student
Tolkien: i can’t wait to get away from this stupid teaching Tolkien: and get back to what’s really important Tolkien: sexy sexy hobbit feet Tolkien: now if there’s no questions, i think we can end class early Diana Wynne Jones: actually professor Jones: i have several questions Tolkien: jesus fucking christ
Diana Wynne Jones: [raising hand] professor, professor! Jones: pick me, professor, I’m ever so smart! Tolkien: goddamnit Tolkien: i’ll show her Tolkien: i’ll make this lecture so incredibly boring that she’ll HAVE to drop the class Tolkien: heh heh delightfully devilish, jirt!
Tolkien: allow me to introduce myself Tolkien: they call me professor Tolkien Tolkien: i’m dull and drab and dreary Tolkien: and that ain’t even jokin’!
Tolkien: my monotonous drone can hypnotize! Tolkien: my boring mumbles will paralyze! Tolkien: my lectures are real dull, not thought provokin’ Tolkien: t-t-t-tedious! t-t-tiresome! Tolkien: T-t-t-t-Tolkien! Tolkien: DON’T MESS WITH THE PROFESSOR!!
Tolkien: so in conclusion Tolkien: that’s why hobbits never wear shoes Tolkien: now since everyone’s left for the day- Jones: i’m still here! Tolkien: Tolkien: [through gritted teeth] so you are
Tolkien: look diana it’s not that you’re not a good student Tolkien: i certainly do find the idea of female students to be a fascinating concept Tolkien: but couldn’t you go to Tolkien: maybe a different lecture? Tolkien: i hear CS Lewis does some good ones Tolkien: everyone knows he’s the fun professor
CS Lewis: so the administration says i gotta grade you Lewis: here’s what i think of their rules, man Lewis: [throws rule book out window, students gasp] Lewis: that’s right Lewis: [sits backwards on chair] i’m not just a professor Lewis: i’m a COOL professor
PERIOD MEN IN DISTRESS*:･ﾟ✧ Aneurin Barnard Edition
The White Queen (2013), dir. James Kent, Colin Teague, Jamie Payne Peaky Blinders (2013-2022), created by Steven Knight Dunkirk (2017), dir. Christopher Nolan Interlude in Prague (2017), dir. John Stephenson War & Peace (2016), dir. Tom Harper 1899(2022), created by Baran bo Odar, Jantje Friese
If you’re in the US, now is a great time to talk to the young people in your life about the US military:
The recruiter is not your friend. The military employs child psychologists to learn how to make you think the recruiter is your friend.
The recruiter is allowed to lie to you and makes more money if they do.
The recruiter is paid a commission to groom children into cannon fodder.
The recruiter will tell you you’re special and will go into special smart soldier programs instead of combat. They’re lying.
The recruiter may tell you they can tell if someone can get PTSD or not and only recruit people like you, who won’t. They’re lying.
The recruiter may tell you you’ll be too busy attending free college (!!) to go overseas. They’re lying.
The recruiter may ask what countries you want to travel to and promise you bougie placements on military bases in those countries. They’re lying.
Even “It’s just four years!” is a lie - the government is allowed to hold you past your enlistment period with a stop-loss order.
The recruiter actually has zero power to decide anything that happens to you after you enlist and they more importantly don’t care what happens to you.
If you enlist, you will be brainwashed to make you willing to do things to other humans that you would never be willing to do today.
You will be ordered to do things that will kill children. And you’ll do them.
The military is not the only way or even the best way for you to go to college or start a career.
Military brainwashing will actually make you into a terrible university student because it degrades your ability to think critically and question your sources.
Having PTSD and/or a TBI will make it harder to be a student and keep a job.
Veterans’ benefits suck these days.
Being a veteran drastically increases your risk of homelessness, suicide, alcohol and drug dependence, prison time, and becoming an abuser to your loved ones.
The military will expose you to chemicals that will drastically increase your chances of developing cancer.
The military will withhold information about your rights to conscientiously object after enlisting.
