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What made You die for me? I was Your enemy . . .

@hannah-snow

Christian. Sucker for self-sacrifice and redemption arcs. An unromantic romantic. History graduate. Schoolteacher (Primary). Hannah_Snow on AO3.

Welcome to my Christian blog!

I didn't intend this to be a Christian blog. A long time ago, it was meant to be a fandom blog with long and delicious meta posts about Star Wars, Merlin and . . . other fandoms, which I won't mention here.

That didn't happen. The fellowship-seeking life in me sought out lots of lots of other Christian blogs, curated my dash so that's all I would see, and.

I hardly even see Star Wars anymore!

(I mean I like Star Wars for its Christian overtones. Of course).

Now, in a way, I still don't mean for this to be 'a Christian blog'. I don't want to sit on my high horse here dispensing Infallible Advice to you all, or pretend that I'm Perfect, or anything like that, because such a thing would be a lie, and I would be exposed for the fraud I was sooner or later, if only in my own heart and in my own conscience.

(How God has mercy on me, to convict me of sins in my own conscience! If He didn't, I'd go on sinning, and I don't want to do that).

See, I want this to be a Jesusly human blog. I will be my imperfect and human self, and trust the indwelling Christ to be imperfectly expressed down here. I don't want to be a Christian Blog in a tryhard way, because in the end that would be fundamentally dishonest, and no lie can glorify God.

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A few prayer requests:

For myself:

1. To stop with the gaming and the screen time and instead reading my bible and other books.

2. To actually exercise obedience and discipline in general.

3. To actually sacrifice my time, energy, comfort, and all else needed to be physically helpful to others and to be a good witness and servant for Christ.

4. To accept rebuke, to discern properly between good counsel and unwarranted advice, and to finally respond to my chats.

Jeeves & Wooster academia AU where Jeeves is forever getting Bertie out of being on committees that he accidentally agreed to

"I can't do this, Jeeves. I would not survive. If I have to go to Madeline's Mindfulness Seminar every week, you will see my position advertised on the listservs by the end of the semester. What is mindfulness, anyway? Does she not use her mind otherwise?"

"I have often thought that Professor Bassett's approach to scholarship differs from your own in important ways, sir. I fear your collaboration would be unproductive."

"But I can't back out now. You know how keen the Chair is on what's-its-name."

"Interdisciplinarity, sir?"

"That's the ticket. Seems to think our mission in life is giving poets Erdos numbers."

"Nevertheless, sir, it occurs to me that if your course section were rescheduled to fill the slot currently occupied by Professor Little, you would be unable to participate through no fault of your own."

"But why would they be switched? Not that the old bean isn't one to help out a pal in distress, but he was desperate to wangle that slot."

"Circumstances have altered, sir. It transpires that Dr. Banks, whose day is almost entirely occupied with first-year writing seminars, takes her lunch break at just that time."

I felt as if the sword of whoever it was, the fellow who had the sword hanging over him, had been taken away. "Write the email, Jeeves. No, emails: one to Bingo to switch the sections, one to Madeline telling her how awfully sorry I am I can't go to her seminar."

"I have already done so, sir." Jeeves opened the windows and showed me.

The emails were masterly. "All done out of your own head, too, I suppose!" I commented.

"Yes, sir. I have never felt the need for artificial aid in composition."

"You're a marvel, Jeeves. The dining hall must be pretty nearly out of fish."

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Anyways, I really like how Matthew emphasizes women of foreign backgrounds in the genealogy of Christ.

With the exception of Mary, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN in the genealogy of Christ is a remarried Gentile woman with a Past.

Tamar - abandoned Canaanite widow whose two sons were born by incestuous harlotry

Rahab - Canaanite prostitute

Ruth - Moabitess widow

Bathsheba - adulterous Hittite widow.

It's almost as if God is telling foreign sinful women that they can be part of His story and His people too . . .

Merlin - Season 1, Episode 04: The Poisoned Chalice (2008)

More proof (like I needed it) that Gwen and Arthur had a lot of meaningful, personal interaction even as early on in the series as this.

In Episode 3 he defends Gwen before Uther and notices her crush on Merlin. In Episode 4, he and Gwen conspire to help Merlin twice and act like people who have known each other for a long time and very well. They show a surprising amount of workmates chemistry even then.

There is a lot of talk—a lot of rhetoric—about the God of the Old Testament being this wrathful God, striking at and punishing those who disobey. I think the thing that stands out more is the long arc of patience and mercy. Israel shows herself to be an adulterous harlot, embodying a contumely spirit, disobedient to her bridegroom at every turn. The ending of the book of Judges, for example, shows us just how far Israel has fallen—to the point that they were far more gruesome and depraved than even their surrounding nations who God had dispossessed and exterminated for their sins. Yet, after all of that, the Father kept His promises and the Messiah was gifted unto them.

A lesson in that.

Added to this: Jesus talks about the eternal fire where the worm does not die and the fire is not quenched. He says that it is better for a great millstone to be hung around your neck and be thrown into the sea than to stumble others. He says if your eye or hand causes you to sin, pluck it out or cut it off, because it is better to enter the kingdom lame or maimed than the whole body be thrown into Gehenna. Paul talks about how it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

Let's not say the God of the Old Testament is nasty and the God of the New Testament is nice, as someone once told me. That's a heresy refuted by the text itself.

Let us instead say that the God of the Bible is One God, and that He is loving and righteous, and that those things go together instead of being at odds in Him. It was Satan who divorced love and righteousness to keep us trapped in sin. In God those two things are united. They might even be one and the same.

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The Romanian equivalent of "to be caught in the crossfire" is "a fi între ciocan și nicovală" (to be between the hammer and the anvil) and I think that's extremely evocative.

Are you sure that's not the equivalent of 'between a rock and a hard place' instead?

  • “And I have talked to some genuinely mistreated men, and that was, indeed, how they reacted; they come up to me and say things like, “I really get what you’re talking about, because I actually had a pretty similar experience.” So I get immediately suspicious of a man who stands up angrily, and starts growling, “Why aren’t you talking about this happening to men?? This happened to me!!” This style of guy doesn’t express any caring about what is happening to women. Nor does he express any gratitude towards the women and men who are working to assist abused women and to stop abusers. There’s no sign that he feels any sense of common ground with abused women. So I don’t buy his story. I think what he’s really mad about is that we won’t shut up about what so many men are doing to women.”
  • “Twenty years or so ago, we started to hear that it was important to talk more about male victims. The argument was that it would give our movement against domestic violence more appeal, because men would realize that it can happen to them too. We’d broaden our reach. It’s been a tremendous mistake.”
  • “The domestic violence movement has de-genderized itself. The programs are now called “domestic violence programs,” not “abused women’s programs” as they were known before. We talk about abusers and victims as “he or she,” ignoring statistics that show that it’s overwhelmingly male-on-female. When we talk about the issue, we try to make sure we aren’t hurting men’s feelings with too much truth-telling. Has this broadened and strengthened our movement? No, not a bit. The domestic violence movement is far weaker than it was twenty years ago, not stronger. Many, many of the gains that we made are now being stripped away, more every year. (Women’s rights in general are being stripped away in our times, as you have most likely noticed.)”
  • “Don’t be apologetic about making women your agenda. Don’t apologize for putting women’s needs and rights front and center. When someone tells you that you should be talking about male victims too, I encourage you to respond, “There are hundreds of issues in this world that need to be addressed. Are you saying that I can’t address what happens to women unless I also address every other wrong that happens in the world? Why isn’t it okay to make women my focus?””

Excerpts from: Lundy Bancroft. Men’s Angry Messages to Me Part 2. November 14, unknown.

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“I would die for them.”

Yes, but would you live for them? Would you take care of yourself for them? Would you have discipline and do what’s right, even when it feels mundane or fruitless? Would you persevere and have hope? Would you see the best in people and the possibility of a future worth fighting for?

Hypothetical death is easy. Living is not hypothetical.

This makes Christ all the more sweet because yes, He died for our salvation - *big* BIG deal, amazing.

But He LIVED for you too, saints. He lived the perfect life, exercised perfect righteousness, lived without sin *for you*. Now when God looks on you, covered by the blood, He doesn't just see a lack of sin.

He sees His Son's perfect righteousness, in you. And by the Spirit, you can be made more and more into the image of your older brother, whose life and death has set you free.

Prayer request. It's not urgent, I'm not demanding that anyone pray, and I am certainly not demanding that the Lord answer 'yes'!

But I am almost thirty, I live alone and I'm lonely, and it would be nice to have somebody to live with. And perhaps I could do with another round of living with another sister, but what I really think I need is a husband.

There's just. So many barriers. Most of the guys at church my age are married/engaged/involved with someone else, or else aren't really people I'd consider or find attractive. It doesn't help that I'm picky in principle as well as in practice.

Then there's the trouble in me. I have literally no social life that isn't family and church, I have no idea how to go looking for a husband, I may or may not be autistic, and I don't tend to get physically attracted that often. I don't think I've had a proper crush on anyone even remotely suitable for several years.

And finally, I still don't know if I will ever recover from my first (and only serious) crush from many years ago.

Mara Jade: Whenever I’m around your brother I feel at ease and like I don’t have to be on my guard and when I look at him my face feels weird and I forget stuff. What kind of jedi mind control is he using on me?

Leia:

I am rightly sceptical of these AI youtube Tai Chi walking ads.

I mean, if your Tai Chi is so good why do you need an AI video to prove it.

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