Fixed the links:

• The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method
• The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method
• The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method
• The “get stuff done while you wait” method
• The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method
• The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method
• The “break the task into smaller steps” method
• The “treat yourself like a pet” method
• The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method
• The “put on a persona” method
• The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method
• The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method
• The “wait for a trigger” method
• The “do it for your future self” method
• The “might as well” method
• The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method
• The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method
• The “make it easy” method
• The “junebugging” method
• The “just show up” method
• The “accept when you need help” method
• The “make it into a game” method
• The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method
• The “trick yourself” method
• The “break it into even smaller steps” method
• The “let go of should” method
• The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method
• The “fork theory” method
• The “effectivity over aesthetics” method

when i was allegedly a woman i was briefly married to a cis guy before coming out as a lesbian and getting a divorce. my now ex-husband, a genuine sweetheart of a man, was very kind about it all and we remain good friends.

twenty-five (!) years later I came out as a trans man.

now. the important thing to know about my ex-husband is that he loves nothing more than 1) horrible puns, preferably bilingual ones; 2) terrible dad jokes; and 3) committing to the bit until the end of time. he absolutely lives for Shenanigans and Japery. i do not know how his long-suffering wife puts up with him, but they've been married for more than 20 years so presumably she manages.

so, to break the news to my ex, i texted him. the exchange went something like this:

me: "great news, i'm a trans guy now"

him: "oh, congrats!"

me: "thank you. now for the better news: I insist you refer to me henceforth only as your ex-husband. do you accept this challenge?"

and my cis, straight-as-an-arrow, lives-in-the-midwest, married-to-a-minister ex-husband was like

AND HE DOES! gleefully and completely straight-faced, as I understand it. confuses the hell out of everyone, none more than cishet conservative people who've known us both for decades and know for a fact he's only been married twice. I hope he never explains.

amazing stuff.

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

"Man its too bad that im straight since I've got like no gag reflex and all."

"Honey, I must tell you, i am in fact trans and I have not had bottom surgery."

"My god... everything's coming up Jason."

Pure of heart dumb of ass hetero of sexual

#This misses the point and focuses on the woman's looks and not the myth of the Crone which is sad bc the Crone is a TERRIFYING figure#I mean you have to be semi educated in occult to understand symbolism in art so not everyone is going to get it#But the Crone is an ancient figure who represents Time and the inevitability of your actions coming to light#That she is an old woman is less about misogyny and more about how dark and terrifying The Feminine is in esoterica#The Feminine is extremely metal and her saggy boobs aren't about her attractiveness but about her refusal and inability to nurture#She will have no mercy on your ass#dweebs w a gender studies 101 degree make portrayals of the Dark Feminine about misogyny and think they're saying something revolutionary

this is so funny. "oh yeah it's just using the image of an old, unattractive woman as unnurturing which has existed since ancient times which has never been historically misogynistic and YOU'RE the loser for thinking otherwise. btw i'm putting this in the tags because i don't actually want to interact with you but i want to prove myself as more superior and intelligent to my followers xoxo"

Poly folks x aro folks in the sense that "alloromantic heterosexual monogamous people view love and sex as an entirely different entity than me, and that makes life kinda strange"

...

No...

I thought I could figure out the referent, but no. I can’t. Which murdered British boys? Someone go back and ask that elderly neighbor or I’ll never be able to sleep again.

King Edward V of England and Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York! They were murdered by their uncle!

She... she does

I can’t remember where I got the information now, but apparently if you stare silently for at least 4 seconds it triggers a feeling of rejection which I don’t have to tell you is uncomfortable and makes most people backpedal pretty quickly and awkwardly.

Immediately going concerned/extremely polite always throws people off their game, it's beautiful.

The Quiet Stare Of Disappointment is also super effective, indeed .

My sister and I were walking across a car park.

Random bloke: Maybe if you walked more you wouldn’t be so fat

My sister stops dead, stares him in the eye and goes: Is everything alright at home?

I’ve never seen a man’s face turn to horror so fast

We just walked to her car and drove off

The silent stare is so effective. I learned about it in social psychology in undergrad, and have often used it to great effect. Probably the best example is when I went to sign the papers on the car I was buying—I had already worked out a price and my trade-in with the salesmen the day before—and they decided they were going to take $1000 off the value of my trade-in. (I want to emphasize that I was buying a 10+ year old car; I ended up paying $8k total.)

"No," I said. "That doesn't work for me. If you're unwilling to honor the deal we made, I'm not buying a car from you."

Well, they talk for a living. So they talked. Here I am, a young woman on my own, and these two men at the dealership are giving me all the reasons they couldn't possibly honor the deal we made yesterday.

So I sat. I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.

They kept talking, trying to get a reaction out of me. After about 10 seconds, they abandoned all pretense of logical arguments and started hammering pathos. They weren't even buying my old car from me for the dealership; it was a personal favor for which they were using their own hard-earned money to help this poor guy at church who just got out of rehab and his house burned down and his children exploded and his dog left him for another man, etc etc

I didn't say a word. I just stared at them.

They began falling apart. They continued trying to hustle me, but their confidence left them. I think they might have been sweating.

Within five minutes they caved and signed the papers for our original deal.

I have been told for years I am intimidating, and by people who had never even seen me angry. Just in general, intimidating. This absolutely baffled me until a friend one day pointed at me and said — “This! Right now! You’re being intimidating!”

Friends, I was staring silently at someone while inwardly flailing desperately to come up with a response to something they’d said that wasn’t overly rude but also was holding my ground. In my mind, I was being hellishly awkward. I couldn’t summon any charm, I couldn’t figure out a sentence to string together. Silence spooled out horrifyingly between us as I got farther and farther away from being articulate and became more and more flustered by this failure to respond. From the outside, I guess, I just looked like a stone cold bitch waiting for them to get their shit together, lol.

I still don’t think I’m intimidating but you know I’ll take it.