My left and right hands right now

calm down man

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

unfortunately for me the symptoms of both carbon monoxide poisoning and Being A Genius can be the same

guy who's into ponyplay but specifically wants to roleplay a helicopter airlift scenario

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

You killed him with worms.

It just occurred to me that Elias probably fully knew that Tim was flirting (sleeping?) with the police for information. Like, he saw that, acknowledged it was working, and moved on. What a professionally run, academic institute.

affirmations for the bus:

- it’s ok to be on-time

- you’re allowed to be at the stop at the time you’re meant to be there

- people won’t be upset if, when you get to the bus stop, you stop and let them onto the bus instead of making direct eye contact and driving away without stopping at the bus stop

- please

heat seeking behavior

Attention seeking missile

always remember that adhesive labels can sense your fear and hesitation when you are removing them

One thing I love about Jon is that he doesn't actually want to die. Jonathan Sims wants to live and it's a great source of shame for him. He is relieved when Mr Spider eats his bully and he is ashamed of it, he shouldn't be happy someone else is dead but he didn't want to die. Jon wants to live and that's why he survives the Unknowing. He knows he shouldn't be alive and there is nothing good about it because he is now fully a monster feeding on other people's pain and suffering but he wants to live. He knows he should be dead and before going down into the coffin he acts very flippant about him possibly dying and how it's just getting rid of another monster. Yet when actually in the coffin Jon regrets it because he doesn't want to die. And I love that about him

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

I don’t think that’s true

I got inspired to draw some of THESE with the TF2 mercs

This is peak humor in my eyes

this is incredible! Medic is smiling at a funeral.