dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

not my best work

A noteworthy followup

all the buckaroos who were surprised i started writing horror were clearly not paying attention for this 2015 classic

No, seriously, do NOT.

Feeling dirty and grimy for extended periods of time is extremely draining on the mental well-being of humans. Psychological studies prove it is detrimental to our self-esteem and contentment. And no wonder; we are animals--homo sapiens, a kind of ape--that instinctively places high importance on personal grooming. Like monkeys and cats and birds in a zoo, one of the best ways to make us feel sad ... is to make us feel gross to ourselves.

So here's an easy saying from my therapist/zookeeper:

"If you feel like you hate the world, eat something.

If you feel like the world hates you, get some sleep.

If you feel like you hate yourself, take a shower.

You will probably feel much better."

Do all three at once to become the perfect life form

Whoa! Is this where @redgoldsparks ‘ comic comes from?

Yes this is the source of the text!

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

It's not a cure but you have no idea how many times this image has helped me with my OCD

Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.

Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.

You see a medical-looking neat little spray bottle on the table. The label says "wound spray". I tell you not to touch that. For some reason you spray some on yourself anyway and scream as a horrible smell fills the room and the chemical reaction of some unknown substance burns your skin right off. You scream and ask what the hell was that.

It's a wound spray, obviously. You spray some on your skin on the desired area, to instantly create a wound.

I have made some memes to commemorate the day

So basically for this spell to work we have to get naked and rub our dicks together. Yeah for mana. so its not gay i prommy

ignore my url

using a cane opens up a myriad of new gestures, such as rap against ground (imperious), rap against ground (petulant), and drop the fucking thing (oh god oh god that was so loud everyone's looking i hope nobody tries to pick it up for me fuck my stupid life-

"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"

"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"

"-but you can trust me when I say-"

"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"

"I don't care for you at all."

"Well, I… oh… I love you too."

i dont make comics often but this was too cute.

"would you still love me if I was a wor-" BORING. would you still love me if I was a truly good man who took up a dark and evil power with the intent of fighting its influence but, over the course of thousands of years, became bent on the total destruction and annihilation of everything we created together?? WOULD YOU?!??!?

they think this is due to polygyny and more wealthy men being able to afford more wives but I think it’s because throughout history there has always been a significant portion of men in every generation who are just repulsive and it’s only because of the digital age that we know about them, the incels

there was only one fuckable guy in that cave 26,000 years ago

exiting a uquiz halfway through when it becomes clear the creator's narrow and immature world view and cultural knowledge leaves them totally unequipped to tell me which peanuts character i am with any degree of accuracy or insight

i don't think spending more time on something on its own inherently makes that thing any better. because i'm not protestant

i sometimes see videos of digital artists being like "here's a tip on how to draw x thing faster!" and it's like, tracing over stock images or free 3D assets from the clip studio store. and the comments are filled with people saying "no that's cheating!!" can we be so real with ourselves for just one second. how is this cheating. it's not a competition. nobody is getting an award. i don't care if Samantha the digital artist traced a png of a chessboard instead of freehanding it—i see no reason for her to work harder arbitrarily for the same exact outcome

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haiku of despair