“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
We asked the waiter to take a photo of us at dinner
your tumblr avatar is who you are on the outside, and your discord avatar is your true self
lonelyeyes are so aromantic to me you guys have no idea. i can’t imagine those two expressing any romantic feelings towards each other whatsoever. but putting the money aside does that mean they can’t have fun together? can’t have a strange kind of fondness for one another?
they love to fuck around making stupid bets and causing chaos (chaos is an understatement but you get the point). they love to argue for the sole purpose of getting each other riled up. it’s their love language. oh peter wants to be alone? too bad, i’ll pay him a visit and annoy him all day. as a treat. jonah is going to prison? hell yeah dude finally some peace and quiet. i’m throwing a party that i’m not gonna attend, he’s gonna watch.
getting married and divorced 17 times a year out of pettiness? why not! mind you they prolly have a nice fear snack tormenting all the people involved in the legal aspect of it every time.
and don’t even get me started on the homoerotic tension between those two. jonah magnus the manwhore you are. getting a kick out of teasing a lonely avatar and making sure he feels perceived and seen at the same time giving your patron dinner. truly poetic. and peter lukas not being able to resist that evil twink. annoying but hot, the audacity.
legends say every now and then when they get bored with the horrors and particularly touch starved they cuddle. peter disappears after a while and jonah curses him because now he’s cold and has to hug a pillow and wrap himself in a blanket instead. goddamn lonely.
minute rice? forsooth. twould be far stranger if the rice were not minute, but rather enormous
Put archivist in Yellow Door.
yello Door perfec t size for put archivist in to l\ook! inside very Normal and Euclidean archivist go safely put Archivist in Yellow Door. Put Archivist In Yellow Door. no problems ever in yelloww door because good Shape and Space for archivsit body tired from lots of scary clowns. AYellow Door yes a place for an archivisst put archivist in yellow door can trust distortion for giveing good safety to archivist. friend distortion.
i've been obsessed with this video so i downloaded the video file off of youtube so even if the internet goes down i can always watch frogtimelapse.mp4
Lonelyeyes week, day 3 pre-canon @lonelyeyesweek
Elias sighed, feeling a warm, wet towel on his face gently wiping off his eyes and cheeks.
"Peter..." he whispered. His voice was hoarse from screaming. There was still sharp, raw pain behind his eyes, a dull ache in his head. His ears were filled with static noise, and Beholding was slowly finding its way to his new vessel.
"Welcome back." Peter hummed, wiping off the blood from his eyelids. "You put an awful lot of trust in me. I could easily kill you right now." Peter informed him and Elias knew it was the truth.
He shivered, feeling Peter's fingers on his eyelids. He moaned in pain; even the light touch was unbearable. "I only have to press a little harder." Peter whispered. Elias swallowed and tried to sit up, but the pain hit him with a double force. Peter sighed, "But where's the fun in that?"
He cleaned the rest of the blood from Elias' face. "Pretty thing, isn't he... Open your eyes."
Elias shook his head and immediately regretted it, a wave of nausea overcoming him. "Come on...we have to make sure that they are alright."
Elias sighed and slowly blinked. He winced at the light, his vision unfocused and the whole experience unpleasant, but somehow he couldn't close them again. An urge to see, to watch, so intense that the pain didn't matter.
"There you are..."
"It hurts."
"Don't whine..." Peter picked him up from the ground. "Oh, this one's lighter. Good for me."
"Peter," Elias groaned, "it hurts. My head."
Peter shushed him.
"You're always complaining. Relax. I will take you to bed. Would you like a bath?"
"Ah, later maybe?" Elias melted into the bedsheets and sighed, feeling Peter's hand on him.
"You certainly know how to pick them."
Elias snorted.
"Is it always that bad?"
"You mean bruising?"
Peter nodded, touching Elias's face. His under-eyes and his cheeks were covered in red, violet, and blue.
"No. It's worse every time. But this one is particularly prone to bruising." Peter hummed.
"Fun."
"Far from it." Elias sighed. "Bring me water?"
"Hm. Hungry?"
Elias shook his head and slowly drifted off. He welcomed sleep with relief forgetting about the water.
°°°
"Do you still like shrimp?"
Elias leaned on the kitchen doorframe. His face was still painted with bruises.
"I... suppose we will have to find out. He lived on pizza and fast food delivery," he grimaced. Lukas snorted. Elias sighed and sat down at the table.
"Pizza and fast food, and yet you weigh nothing."
"Probably a little underweight. My attempts to put some reason in him were... dismissed."
Peter placed a plate before him, and Elias sneered at the shrimps. Peter snorted.
"Not a fan then?"
"I like shrimp." Elias stated and took a fork. Eating was widely unpleasant. Peter observed him amused. Elias sighed and gave up. "We will have to work on that." He stood up and almost tripped walking out of the kitchen. His sense of balance somewhat off. "Oh, I hate it. I hate it."
"Go lie down."
"I...is there anything else to eat?"
"There will be. Go."
°°°
The next day was almost better until Jonah saw himself in the mirror and winced. It was not a matter of bruising or reddish eyes; it was just... wrong. The face was not his, but then this is who he was now. He stared at the mirror for far too long, and the idea that this thing that looked back was not-him disgusted him to the core. At least the eyes were comforting, he sighed, rubbing his temples.
"Feeding the stranger, are we?" Peter appeared at the door of the bathroom. Elias sneered in disgust. Peter stood behind him and wrapped his hands around Elias' waist. "Did you ever think that one time you might actually take a swing at it and join a circus?"
Jonah snorted.
"If this thought crossed your mind, Mr. Lukas, then you don't know me at all." He arranged his face into something of a smug smile and was happy with the result. "I don't feel the pull to the Stranger. My one and only affiliation always was and always will be the Eye. I laid my life before its sight, and it granted it back. There will never be anything else for me."
Peter hummed, touching his jaw.
"I am starting to think you are worse than those fucked-up lightless flame pyromaniacs."
Elias chuckled; he turned around to look at Peter.
"A few years more, Mr. Lukas, and you will understand that I am the worst one of us all." Peter snorted, and Elias kissed him; the act was familiar, but there was far too much teeth, and somehow Elias quickly gave up, parting his lips, letting Peter take the lead. He moaned softly at the grip on his waist and at the demanding kiss, his head swam.
Oh.
Oh no.
Peter grinned.
"This is fun. Is this one vocal? That's refreshing."
"Don't you dare say another word," Elias hissed.
°°°
"I will be very lovely to you. Nice and slow,” were the last words that Elias registered before his brain turned into fuzz. His thoughts suddenly distant, pain forgotten, and world reduced to Peter's hand on him. "Vocal" quickly became an understatement. Peter managed to turn him into a moaning mess in less than ten minutes and was incredibly smug about it. Elias regained some clarity of mind much later, lying splayed on Peter's chest. He blinked slowly and sneered, seeing Peter's smirk. He covered his mouth with his hand.
"Say one word, I won't like..." He threatened. Peter slowly grabbed his wrist and moved it.
"Thank God you don't have neighbors."
Elias glared at him, and Peter vanished from under his stare. Elias hummed satisfied and flopped on the bed, absolutely drained.
"God." He sighed, brushing his hair back.
This body is going to be much more high maintenance than James Wright, he realized and smiled, thinking about the past. About Jonah Magnus, he laughed and wrapped himself in the blanket, finally feeling like himself.
Fandom/Ship: The Magnus Archives : Peter Lukas/ Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 838
Warnings and Tags: the Lonely, amnesia, amnesia Peter, Peter is always late, Peter loves trains, established relationship, serial divorcees, huffy Elias Bouchard, mild groping, quick writings
Summary: Peter spends too long in the Lonely, Elias does not approve. Written for @lonelyeyesweek for the prompt: Amnesia and for the @fanfictionlibrary01 drabble prompt: Late.
Author Note: Aw man I was really running out of motivation today to finish this on time, but then I saw the drabble prompt and was like ah well isn't that just fitting for Peter. So I finished it xD
Happy Reading, I appreciate every like, comment, and reblog! ❤️
Read, How Could I Forget You?, Rated Teen, in full below or on my Ao3.
*note, this story (and all of my others) on Ao3 is locked for registered Ao3 user
The air was yellow and Michael was a door. 'YoU'Re nO dOoR' his mind screamed. 'yOu'Re mIcHeAL sHeLLy'. That was difficult to remember these days...months?....years??? Was he Michael or was he Spiral? Was he a he or an it, a who or a what??
Most of all his hands hurt. He looked at them now. His curled fingers weren't supposed to almost touch his elbows were they? When he had first entered these hallways he remembered feeling small and insignificant, a tiny ant trying to traverse an unfamiliar anthill. Now, his head brushed the ceiling as he walked and the hallways- he knew what was around each corner and behind each door. He saw other small ants like the erstwhile Michael Shelley and knew they were soon to be consumed. And the thought filled him with glee.
He frowned then. Michael would have hated that. Pain shot up his spine and through his head and he fell on his knees. 'I aM mIcHaEL' it yelled from somewhere within. 'I aM aS mIcHaEL aS cOuLd bE'
He snickered. What a very Distortion thing to say. Yes, perhaps he wouldn't snuff out the bit of Michael that was trying so desperately hard to hold on, no matter how much he wished to be a what and not a who anymore. The fear that Michael so charmingly exuded fed it. And it had been a while since it'd had its last meal.
<BANG! BANG! BANG!>
He whirled. That door. The one that had just opened. It was the Archive door wasn't it? The Spiral always kept a door at the Archives, hoping for a careless Archival assistant to walk in. Eye coded employees were the most fun. They scrambled around so sure they could see their way out of the Spiral. And that lovely Elias Bouchard never bothered to educate them either....
'MICHAEL'. The voice jarred it out of it's reverie. 'MICHAEL SHELLEY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?'. That voice.... Somewhere inside Michael Shelley stirred. The most he had in months.
It looked inward, curious. The Michael that had been hopelessly roaming the corridors of Distortion and slowly losing hope straightened from his slumped posture on the ground. He turned and looked straight at him. It flinched. Could Michael Shelley see it? Surely not.... Surely...
'MICHAEL' It turned and glared at the intruder banging open doors with abandon. Was he at fault? This obnoxious man in a trench coat with badly dyed hair. This lapdog of Gertrude's- This Gerard Keay?
It looked inward again and was startled. Michael was closer- a lot closer to it wasn't he? As Gerard's voice yelled, increasingly desperate, it contemplated killing him right then and there. After all it wouldn't stand its plaything being given hope. It turned inward again to give sweet Michael Shelley one last smirk before snuffing out his hope and found it's throat wrapped with both his hands. It locked eyes with Michael as they sailed backwards and found he was the most Spiral he could be. He- It- They collapsed inwards.
And Michael the Distortion straightened. They could worry about what they were later, he smiled. Right now, he had his Gerry to see.
Away from prying eyes
God I love how this would work against the eye
The fear of being watched works trough any eyes be they real or not but that's because we believe it works like that. So of course covering your eye tattoos and making your vision blurry will make that fear weaker BUT
This also works because now they aren't afraid, and if your not afraid then the fears can't touch you. Being happy, making fun of your fears WORKS and this captures the wonderful ways that friendship and having people there for you can make fears go away
using my christian baby to hold down some papers but then the rapture happens :/
