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hitmeupaep

@hitmeupaep

he/they

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in all 15 seasons of supernatural dean is never once displayed as a bad driver. he’s had full conversations WITH eye contact with sam and never once manages to crash or even swerve off the road a little. he will be battered to hell, blood spilling out of every orifice imaginable and he would still manage to drive the impala back to the motel in one piece. the only time i can ever recall in which he’s lost control of baby is when cas is talking about benjamin. all cas has to do is compliment another dude and dean is just driving straight into traffic. sam has to literally say “watch the road” and only then does dean look away from cas (who is sitting the back seat btw). maybe this is me looking too deep into something pointless, i just find it incredibly funny.

The one with the chip on the handle 👆

Ok, it’s been days since I read this outline, and it’s still torturing me. A bunch of identical cups, factory-produced, and Dean’s cup is the one with the chip in it

He likes the ones with the chip in it

The crack in its chas—

I still think about this. This cup is special to Dean. It’s like all the others but just a little bit broken.

He runs his thumb over it, and its brokenness soothes something inside of him.

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It makes one sick thinking about all the moments of affection and care Dean displays for cas. That Cas doesn’t know about

he doesn’t know dean was calling them friends after like. x amount of months. he doesn’t know about clutching the trenchcoat. he doesn’t know about i need you nee i love you. He doesn’t know about dean praying to him when he was human. He doesn’t know about dean clutching his face voice breaking when he calls out for cas. he doesn’t know about dean breaking down while wrapping his body. he doesn’t know about dead eyed widow stare at pyre. he doesn’t know about dean begging god to resurrect cas and destroying a door when he’s ignored. he doesn’t know about dean suicide attempt when he “accepts” cas is gone. he doesn’t know that dean straight up can’t get past cas’s name when he tries to talk about him being dead. he doesn’t know about all the times sam delicately tries to get Dean to talk about why he’s so upset when he knows the answer is cas. he doesn’t know about he got cas killed you may be able to forget that but I can’t. he doesn’t know about it’s not an it it’s Cas. he doesn’t know that tombstone was an insane about face showing from Dean who had previously been serving shipping merchant sipping whiskey while looking at the baby that killed his wife in childbirth with distaste. he doesn’t know about I have a family. oh my god he doesn’t know about I have a family. he doesn’t know about if cas was still here yeah well he’s not. He doesn’t know about I’ll kill myself and my brother if you bring back cas.

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