theme
crime
reblogged 3 hours ago with 56,864 notes

up-north-values:

ophilosoraptoro:

simon-newman:

ashoutinthedarkness:

luminouslumity:

In honor of his hundredth chocolate creation!

image

For once the Chocolate Wizard has used his chocolate magic to just make a cake.

Technically accurate

reblogged 3 hours ago with 15,068 notes

billymayslesbian:

tumblr ocd advice is kind of astounding bc youll see posts like “OCD LIFE HACK!!!!! if you have [obsession] try [compulsion]” and people are passing it around like its genuine advice and not literally the worst possible thing you could do in that scenario

reblogged 3 hours ago with 122,702 notes

swarnpert:

jame7t:

swarnpert:

can you take my white ass to funkytown

nope. torture city again

come on

reblogged 3 hours ago with 235,755 notes

ace-aussie-asshole:

kingfisher-colours:

soft-necromancing-crow:

anonymous-lizard:

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

sablesides:

9lunarseas6:

gayarsonist:

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

gayarsonist:

gayarsonist:

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

OH MY GOD

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

reblogged 3 hours ago with 48,994 notes
reblogged 4 hours ago with 217,260 notes

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader:

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader:

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader:

voyage-of-the-porn-spreader:

image

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee’d a retired racehorse

image

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

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horse that reads Marcus Aurelius

image
image

I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad

reblogged 4 hours ago with 23,941 notes

beemovieerotica:

beemovieerotica:

at the vet because apparently tylenol decided to eat a joint

image

she’s going to be ok she’s just high as fuck

image
reblogged 1 day ago with 216,190 notes
biscoff-und-taxis:
“katelyn-danger:
“voregeoisie:
“lesbianshepard:
“phrasing of this is taking me out
” ”
Harder to crucify a being with eight legs
”
#spider Jesus died on the asterisk for our sins
you can’t just leave this in the tags
”

biscoff-und-taxis:

katelyn-danger:

voregeoisie:

lesbianshepard:

phrasing of this is taking me out

image

Harder to crucify a being with eight legs

#spider Jesus died on the asterisk for our sins

you can’t just leave this in the tags

reblogged 1 day ago with 91,637 notes

worfsbarmitzvah:

worfsbarmitzvah:

it’s genuinely bullshit that you should be required to own a mobile phone for participation in literally any aspect of life

image

this should be illegal and i’m not fucking joking

reblogged 1 day ago with 65,792 notes

tiktaalic:

tiktaalic:

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

This getting reblogged with “and my thirties” “and my forties” “and my fifties”

reblogged 1 day ago with 42,384 notes

jdididydog:

give me one thousing dollars 💵💸

image
reblogged 1 day ago with 16,299 notes

h4nifah:

sorry im not giving into the cutting out sweet treats propaganda. life is hard enough

reblogged 1 day ago with 31,687 notes

eyewishing:

color theory: theres a lot of them

reblogged 1 day ago with 9,589 notes

its-time-to-be-silly:

dragon-in-a-fez:

dragon-in-a-fez:

image
image

blank version, please make this the new infodumping meme

Image of a person leaning out a window holding an anvil, about to drop it on a person walking below. Person 1 says 'hey you forgot your anvil'. Person 2 says 'thanks just toss it down here'ALT
reblogged 1 day ago with 192,721 notes

thesnailphilosopher:

stewball:

dectech:

duplexide:

image
image

???

image

happy anniversary to the great molasses flood