rip to all the “fuckyeah___” blogs that carried our society at one point </3

we are in the midst of a true Real One

Dude the fact a COELACANTH blog is the one that survived when the rest died off……..

she cries if I dont hold her, so I have to use my exercise bike like this

Istg, if I ever get rabies because some dumb ass antivaxxer refused to vaccinate their dog, I’ll probably be doing the rest of my blogging from prison because I promise you, Imma curbstomp the shit out of the owner

Fun fact: if your dog is unvaccinated and bites someone, in most states it's not only perfectly legal but SUGGESTED COURSE OF ACTION for animal control to seize your dog, euthanize it, and cut its head off for rabies testing. This process costs 300-500 USD and is the responsibility of the owner to pay.

This happened to someone on tumblr, and happens with regularity at my job, so it is not a far-flung worst case scenario.

Rabies shots cost 20 USD at your local pet store or farm supply and if your dog bites someone while vaccinated, all you have to do is quarantine for 10 days.

Once again:

Rabies is one of the most lethal diseases in the world

If you get bitten by a rabid dog - or even slobbered on by a rabid dog and happen to have an open wound - and don't get medical treatment until you develop symptoms; congratulations! You're dead.

Vaccinate your fucking pets

I also suggest vaccination

DB Cooper mystery solved: he survived and used the money to start the film website "IMDb" (I am DB)

there's always some bullshit happening on reddit

speaking of peeing the bed it's been long enough that i can tell this story publicly. in high school i went to a party at some house with no adults, as you sometimes would, and at the end of the night like 10 people all clonked out together in the same bed. fully clothed, one of those teenage moments where you're like wow heehee how rule-breaking, because sure a lot of our parents wouldn't like us sleeping in a bed with a bunch of other teenagers and no adult supervision blah blah. fond memories. anyway.

i'm an extremely light sleeper, so i barely slept, and sometime around 6 am, i woke up to a girl totally panicking, very quietly, because she peed the bed in her sleep. and listen. this wasn't a group of mean kids by any measure. but there's no level of kindness or understanding in the world that will make peeing the bed when you're 17, surrounded by people you only sort of know, a gentle blow.

so i sat up and she was like "oh my god" and I signaled at her to be absolutely silent and I said I'd be right back. And I crawled over everyone and out of the bed like a stupid cat.

and the thing is, by senior year i wasn't getting bullied much anymore. i was generally pretty well liked by my peers, but, if this makes sense, people still didn't always expect very much from me. i was still figuring out how to mask (autistic) and i still often said or did something that made everyone remember i'm weird and they'd just be like "well. that's story for you. i guess." and for the most part i'd become pretty secure in that.

so what i'm saying is i had nothing to lose and this girl had everything to lose.

so i went downstairs and i made tomato soup. and by "made" i mean i put a whole can of tomato soup in a too-small mug and microwaved it until it was lukewarm so as to be convincingly "made" but not so hot to burn someone.

and then i walked back upstairs, and no longer like a cat, i clumsily "attempted" to crawl back into bed, loudly lost my balance, and spilled tomato soup all over the girl and her lap and several other people's laps and heads and the mattress.

everyone woke up confused and anguished and i was like, "oh my god, I'm so sorry. I just got really hungry and it's all i could find."

and everyone immediately accepted with absolutely no further questions that I would go downstairs, make tomato soup at 6 am,and bring it back to bed. everyone just begrudgingly climbed onto the floor and went back to sleep while I put the bedding right into the laundry.

i don't even know this girl's name. i only remembered this story recently because i'm in my hometown for a few months and recently a high school acquaintance said, "hey. do you remember spilling soup on everyone after prom? why did you do that?" and for a moment i genuinely did not and i stared at them completely dumbfounded while the memory loaded and then i started laughing too hard to answer for 2 minutes.

the best part is i can tell this story, and even if it reaches the people who were there, none of them will know which one of them peed the bed. thanks to tomato soup.

people keep pointing out how bewildering this must have been from her point of view and it's making me laugh to tears. i never considered it. i had such a solid plan in my head. i went downstairs to find something to dump on the bed and when i saw the tomato soup i knew it was perfect because it has a distinct smell that would cover anything else and a color which would do the same.

i was so focused on my mission that in the 14 years since i've never once considered what it must have been like for her to decide to trust me because she had no other options, sit there in anguish for three minutes, and then watch me walk back into the room and dump soup on everyone.

rewatching a movie you loved as a teen and realizing it’s actually really really really really not good

ok im taking my post back then.

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.

And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There's no new study that shows that it's unsafe, there's no replacement that's better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.

This is the most accurate vaccine schedule as laid out by the AAP, who have stated that they think JFKjr is bullshit: 

If you have a kid, either download this or print it and confirm with your pediatrician that this is what you want to follow.

It had been his suggestion

all along.

oh my God OH MY GOD

Hey it's me explaining the joke. This gets infinitely funnier when you realize that this is the art for a magic the gathering card named homicidal seclusion.

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

The note inside a bullet.

B-17 bomber is riddled with German anti-aircraft fire but miraculously survives. Later they discover the explosive shells were all inert; sabotaged by Nazi slaves working in armament factories.

Inside one empty shell is a written note: it's all we can do for you now.

The most important part of all this is that these small acts of bravery and noncompliance cannot be known as long as the enemy still stands, and might never be known. Just because it doesn’t seem like anyone is doing anything doesn’t mean it’s true. The best malicious compliance or subtle sabotage is the one that’s never detected, but makes ravages nonetheless.

A critical part of any resistance is

Do not post your crimes

Do not brag. Do not look for brownie points. Do not publicly recruit. Keep your mouth shut.

There are actual tears in my eyes rn can you believe people are this stupid and walk among us all the time

There are some characters where giving them therapy and cleaning them up is the fanfiction equivalent of buying antique furniture and painting it white