I propose this year be Two thousand twenty FIX. this year we're fixing shit. If you got a problem fix it right away if you can. As soon as you notice even. Fix shit. Fix your leaky faucet. Clean your shower. Talk to your friends about that thing they do that makes you feel unloved. 202fix
You deserve it too, you know? Determined ghost believes it! ❤
My resolution last year was to do one thing before bed that would make my morning feel easier, and that’s become a daily habit that I’m carrying into this new year.
Some nights even filling up the kettle and setting an empty mug out for my morning tea felt hard. But I was always thankful for it in the morning.
Other nights, one thing would lead to another, and I’d wake up in a clean house with everything ready to go.
And, on a rare few nights, the one thing that I could do to make my morning easier was going straight to bed and allowing myself to rest.
What stayed the same each day is that I would take a moment to think of what I could do for my future self and do it, even after a hard day. And I would wake up knowing that I had done my best and any effort—no matter how small—was a kindness to myself.
I’ve been doing a lot of “a treat for future me” moments lately.
Stop. Don't sign up for that exercise boot camp. Don't start that new diet. Don't buy that new workout equipment. Don't pour money into the machine that exists to make you hate yourself.
It's New Year's, you want to make a change. You want to improve your fitness. I get it. Those feelings are fine. But don't pay someone to make you do cardio until you throw up. Don't pay someone to put rules on your energy intake. Don't pay someone for equipment you've never used before on an activity that isn't yet a habit.
You want to move more? Free exercise routines:
Girls Gone Strong predominantly create content for perisex cis women, especially those who are pregnant or postpartum. However they still do have many generic routines suitable for anyone.
Do Yoga With Me has a good chunk of free yoga videos in a variety of different styles.
Not a routine but a big exercise library from Precision Nutrition to pick and choose from
You want to eat more nutrients? Every time you go to the grocery store, pick out a new fruit and/or vegetable to try. Already tried everything your local store has to offer? Try out different cooking methods. Here's a few ideas:
Vegetable recipes for people who hate veggies
Dipping sauces for raw veggies
Fruit Based side dishes
Dipping sauces for fresh fruits
Don't let the fitness industry shame you into spending money on their gimmicks. They don't have your best interests in mind. They don't care about your health or fitness. They only care about turning you into a repeat customer.
Fitness shouldn't be a business. You have a right to good information about how your body works. You don't deserve to get swindled trying to learn.
New Years approaches and my feed is filling up with "30 day challenge!!" invites. Someone asked me once if I would ever consider doing a version of a 30 day challenge that's aligned with my fitness approach, and I've thought about it.
And the thing is, my version of a 30 day challenge would be to not do that to yourself.
Like we're talking about a habit you're currently doing zero days a month and you wanna start doing it every day?? That sounds like a great way to burn out, get discouraged, and quit forever.
My version of a "30 day" challenge is more like a 3 day challenge. Can you do this new exercise routine once every ten days? Because that's a great start. That's an attainable challenge.
That might actually get you accustomed to doing this new thing, that you're currently not doing at all, in a way that builds consistency.
But trying to go from zero to 60 so to speak, is an exercise in frustration and disappointment. This is not how humans typically acquire new behaviors. A gentler approach is most effective.
Looking at some of your work, it is stunning but it is very similar in style to AI artwork, do you have any recommendations for how to tell apart photography like yours from AI.
I've been thinking about this. And this may sound controversial at first, but I'm hoping people will hear me out.
We should stop trying so hard to detect AI art.
I think we should all lift that burden from our brains.
I have often talked about "woke goggles." Where conservatives have lost the ability to enjoy anything because they are hypervigilant about detecting anything woke. They've cursed themselves into just hating everything. All they have left is the "God's Not Dead" Cinematic Universe.
And I worry people are getting AI goggles now. They are so concerned about accidentally enjoying robot art and hurting artists that they have overcorrected to the point where they are hurting artists.
One cannot say "AI is all soulless slop that always looks bad" and then accuse a real artist of making something that looks like AI and not hurt them. By doing so, it includes the baggage of all of the "slop" comments along with it. This crusade is having collateral damage to the very artists we are trying to protect.
Yes, we need to be cautious about malicious AI images. Misinformation and deepfakes are going to be a big problem. People using AI imagery for profit is already a mess. But if you are cruising your feed and like a cool sci-fi robot gal or a photo of a waterfall and it turns out to be AI... that's fine.
It was trained by real artists and AI is going to create some cool shit because of that.
Honestly, I think a lot of the worst slop is because the dipshits creating the prompts have no artistic taste. People keep blaming the AI for how bad it looks and often don't consider it is a product of the loser who published it.
There is plenty of non-slop out there that has fooled me. And, like it or not, it is going to get harder and harder to tell what is AI. Until there are better tools or better regulations, I don't think there is much we can do to avoid enjoying AI art every once in a while. If only by accident.
Current "AI detectors" are mostly a scam. Even the best forensic-level AI image detectors struggle to stay above 70–80% accuracy across a wide range of models and image types. And that's in controlled lab conditions.
Free online tools often drop to near coin-flip accuracy (50–60%), especially with newer image generators and post-processing applied.
The best way to avoid AI imagery is to look at an artist's body of work. It's much harder to create consistent, non-obvious fake images in a large sample size. That is usually enough to have confidence in authenticity. Plus, if they have posted similar art before 2022, you can pretty much rule out any shenanigans.
Otis literally died before genAI was available.
But images you see in the wild, just let yourself enjoy them if that is what your brain wants to do. It'll be okay.
I just think we are attacking this backwards. If we want to protect artists, we need to support them.
Calling out random AI art does not support them.
It does not put money in their pockets.
It does not grow their audience.
Over a decade ago I tried to lead a fight to create better systems of attribution on websites like Reddit and Imgur. I even spoke to the Imgur team after an article was written about me.
I asked them to allow sources on their posts and to develop tech that would help people find where an image came from. They said they were "working on it" and it never manifested.
But we just kind of accepted it. No one really joined me in my fight. The prevailing defeatist attitude was, "That's just the way it is."
I think now is the time to demand better attribution systems. We need to be vigilant about making sure as many posts as possible have good sourcing. If an image on Reddit goes viral, the top comment should be the source. And if it isn't, you should try to find it and add it.
Just to be clear, "credit to the original artist" is NOT proper attribution.
And perhaps we can lobby these image sharing sites to create better sourcing systems and tools. They could even use fucking AI to find the earliest posted version of an image.
And it would be nice if it didn't require people to go into the comments to find the source. It could just be in the headline. They could even create little badges "made by a human" for verified artists.
Good attribution helps artists grow their audience. It is one of the single most effective things you can do to help them.
I literally just got this message...
There are maybe 10 popular artists who I helped grow their audience early on. Just because I reblogged their work and added links to all of their social media. I even hired my best friend to add sourcing information to every post because I believed so much in good attribution.
Calling out AI art may feel good in the moment. You caught someone trying to trick people and it feels like justice. But, in most cases, the tangible benefits to real artists seem small. It impedes your ability to enjoy art without always being suspicious. And the risk of telling someone you think they make soulless slop doesn't seem worth it.
But putting that time and effort into attribution *would* be worth it. I have proven it time and time again.
I also think people should consider having a monthly art budget. I don't care if it is $5. But if we all commit to seeking out cool artists and being their collective patrons, we could really make a difference and keep real art alive. Just commit to finding a cool new artist every month and financially contributing to them in some way.
On a bigger scale I think advocating for universal basic income, art grants for education and creation, and government regulation of AI would all be helpful long term goals. Though I think our friends in Europe may have to take the lead on regulation at the moment.
So...
If you have a yard and need mulch, the garden centers charge a fortune. But you can get mulch FOR FREE from Chip Drop.
If you are one of those people who think fancy, evenly chipped, dyed mulch is the only thing that will do, alas for you. That's not what you will get. And you shouldn't use dyed mulch anyway.
What you will get from Chip Drop is the detritus that arborists need to dump after they've done some tree clearing. I just got a pile of FREE mostly pine mulch over 6 feet high. It should be more than enough to meet my needs to suppress weeds on pathways and mulch around winter plants.
And it's FREE, though I paid the optional $20 fee.
All you have to do is sign up, and when there is an arborist in the area, you get your mulch. You can add your preferences as well, but if you are too picky, it will take longer to get what you want. It took me about a month to get my free mulch, and with a spate of warm weather coming this week, I'll have plenty of time to make use of it.
I use the Back to Eden and no dig gardening methods, and mulch is essential to my needs.
I highly recommend Chip Drop.
This is not a paid endorsement.
@gallusrostromegalus This seems like something you might be interested in
oh this is fabulous thank you!!
The art of mindless embroidery.
by @ toolbburs (no pronouns in bio).
If you've ever thought to yourself "I basically know who this person is" about a stranger from reading their posts or watching their youtube videos, I guarantee you're wrong. Yes, even if you've been following them for a long time. Knock it off.
It's possible to know a fictional character purely from the little vignettes in a story because the author has intentionally structured those moments to show every relevant facet of the character. If you finish a story, and there were two scenes where the character was nice and one where they liked rollercoasters, then that's the character! They are nice and they like rollercoasters.
REAL PEOPLE DO NOT WORK LIKE THIS.
Real people posting on social media may appear somewhat similar to a fictional character being revealed scene by scene. DO NOT FALL FOR IT. You are not being shown a curated collection of carefully authored scenes that intentionally build up to a full character! You are seeing a random assortment of moments when the person felt like posting on social media, filtered through imprecise wording, missing context, whether the person slept well the night before, and who knows how many other factors. Real people are orders of magnitude more complicated than fictional characters because they are not designed to be easily understood by an audience! If you try to interpret social media posts as a found-footage story it will lead only to ruin!
I've been trying to reframe how I talk about content-producers to prevent myself from falling into this overly-familiar trap.
"That band? I haven't listened to all their music, but I like what I've heard. This song's my favorite."
"That actor? I enjoyed their performance in this movie and that TV show. Made me laugh AND cry. Good actor."
"YouTuber? I like their series on book-to-movie adaptations."
"Tumblr person? Yeah, I follow them because I like their posts on fashion history."
Being specific about WHAT you like makes for better conversations, and you don't fall into the "omg I LOVE them!" trap.
You're not putting someone on a pedestal, built up by your idea if them, so you're less likely to go knee-jerk-defensive if someone criticizes them. Keep some professional distance between you and "person you don't personally know but whose work you enjoy."
image ids: four images of Sesame Street characters with text.
Image 1: Abby Cadabby looks pensive. Text: Think about the last few posts you saw. How did they make you feel? Which ones felt helpful or harmful?
Image 2: Elmo holds his hand up, looking at it. Text: Notice how you feel in your mind and body. Can you name an emotion you're feeling?
Image 3. Grover looks at a smartphone. His free hand is raised, as if in exclamation. Text: How much longer do you want to scroll? Is there something you set out to do when you picked up your device?
Image 4. Rosita stares at the viewer, with a relaxed and neutral expression. Text: Need a break from scrolling? Take a mindful moment with us.
People who are impossible to please fucking hate it when you give up trying. If nothing's ever good enough anyway, literally why bother. If you're going to bitch just as hard about how uncomfortable your bed is no matter how nice it is, you're sleeping on the floor. If you're going to bitch just as hard about how the nice outing specifically tailored to accommodate you doesn't please you enough no matter how much anyone tries to appease you, you're not coming. If no homecooked gourmet meal made exactly how you said you like it is sufficiently to your liking, you're getting the cheapest shitty frozen TV dinner. Maybe seething at it harder will make it thaw faster.
maybe people who are impossible to please are in fact impossible to please because they don't know how to express gratitude, they actually really appreciate it, just no one ever taught them to say thank you
Well, if being nice to them could teach them that, it would have worked by now.
I have some friends like that. They came out of a very toxic household and really never learned the protocol of 'nice things to say'. I actually sat them down and gave them the protocol. It helped a lot.
If I cook for you, you say: "This looks great. Thank you for the food." And if you taste it and like the taste you may say: "This tastes really good!"
If you don't like it, you can still express that you are grateful for the time, energy and expenses I went through to feed you.
If I give you a compliment, you say "thank you".
If you like something about me, you are allowed to mention it. And I will be happy you said so.
After we spend some time together we text each other. In that text we ask if everyone got home safe, and we express how the time with each other has influenced us. This is a good time to say thank you again.
A text could read: "I made it home now. Did you get home ok? Hope the traffic wasn't too bad. I had a lot of fun today! Thank you for organising the tickets to the museum! I am looking forward to next time!"
And the other may reply similarly.
Saying please and thank you is something that has to be learned. And it's not just for passing the salt on the table. It is for valuing interactions as well.
I know, if you are overly critical of yourself, you might be overly critical of others. But if you practice to be kind to others you learn the words to use to be nice to yourself as well. But this takes practice.
If you have something nice to say, then please do! It makes the world a better place!
Passive aggressive behavior is not helpful in this situation.
I am forever of the opinion that SO many people would be so much happier if they stopped trying to fit their relationships and feelings into "just friends" and "romantic partners". man those are two boxes. twoooo. you are an entire living being. you are alive and your brain is full of electric signals and your body is sending crazy chemicals all over the place. you cannot always cram your experiences into two neat cookie cutter shapes. you are alive on this stupid gay earth please relax and have fun. I love you
As someone with food allergies, and for someone who has family members with severe food allergies here is some etiquette in dealing with food allergies.
Although I will be saying food allergies a lot here, assume these same rules apply to all food restrictions such as sensory processing, religious exclusions, personal exclusions, food sensitivity, autoimmune responses, allergies, lactose intolerance, etc.
These tips are excellent!! It's nice to have them in an easily-compiled list.
I'd also like to add one more thing, though, as someone who also has (severe) food allergies: please try to keep your space well-ventilated, especially if you plan on keeping food that someone is allergic to! Although reactions to airborne allergen particles are rare, they do happen, and there's no point in taking all these precautions if someone is still going to have a reaction in the end. I can't tell you how many times I've sat by myself outside in the cold, struggling to breathe at gatherings while everyone else was inside eating and spending time together. It sucks.
A great point, thank you for adding this!
Miscellaneous tip: if you're bringing food to a gathering where the host is the one with the allergy, try to bring something that they can eat
This post is sponsored by a friend of mine with a gluten intolerance who almost cried when I told her I made sure to grab gluten-free snacks for the party she was hosting
It’s so crazy that suicide prevention is just people going awwww don’t!! Awwww come on noooooooooo stopppppp
One of the best ones I saw was a thing noting that every single one of the few survivors of suicide jumps off of the Golden Gate Bridge realized, on the way down, that the problems they were killing themselves over actually were fixable or could be worked through...except for the now - extremely unfixable - problem of gravity.
Went to the Holocaust Museum in DC once. There was a video interview of an Auschwitz survivor who said he and some other prisoners stayed up all night with a man who wanted to kill himself. The man didn’t kill himself and survived to liberation.
In the video the survivor said “Never seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And they’re all temporary problems.”
Hearing that from a guy who survived the Holocaust rewired my brain a little bit.
I think something a lot of people don't understand is that depression is not suicidality, and suicidality is not depression. People can, and are, depressed without being suicidal, and sometimes suicidality peaks as people are emerging from depression. Suicidality is a wave, and the trick is to allow that wave to crest and subside WITHOUT acting on it. Whatever it takes to ride it out. For some people that's distraction, like watching television. For others it's calling a friend -- not to talk about the suicidality, but just to talk. For others it could be as simple as going to sit in a coffee shop or library, because the presence of other people is a huge diminisher of suicide risk. That's what suicide safety planning is about. It's like having any other type of emergency plan, like a plan for fire or evacuation. It's making a plan when you are in the frame of mind to do so, so that you can just DO the plan without having to think about it when the occasion arises. When you're in the midst of suicidal ideation, or even intent, you're not in a problem-solving mood. So knowing past!you, with the help of a therapist hopefully, came up with the plan and all you have to do is follow up until the wave crests and subsides, is what allows you to see another day.
ETA: Here's a link to a safety plan. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/988-safety-plan.pdf
one thing i love about OTGW is that despite being a story about The Unknown and all the terrible dangers that lurk in it, the story’s main message is “things are rarely as scary as they seem.” the Woodsman scared the boys repeatedly, but he was really a good man trying to help them and in fact saved their lives multiple times. the inhabitants of Pottsville seemed ominous and ill-intentioned, but stopping to speak to them showed that they were benign folks who just came off a little creepy. the “fearsome gorilla” was just a man in a suit and the “ghost” was just an unexpected roommate. even Auntie Whispers, a terrifying witch-woman who seemed to be abusing her ward, turned out to love Lorna and was only trying to protect her from evil forces—and it was Wirt facing the evil spirit head on that finally exorcised it for good.
even the main characters’ arcs reflect this: Wirt is scared of rejection and humiliation from Sara and Jason Funderberker, but after returning to the real world, Sara is more than receptive toward him and Jason Funderberker isn’t even an issue. Beatrice is too ashamed to face her family after turning them all into bluebirds, but at the end of the story it’s such a non-issue for them that they only use the incident to affectionately tease her and everybody is perfectly happy.
and it all cumulates in the final episode when Wirt and Greg finally face the Beast. for the entire series the Beast has been a looming figure of evil, something dark and strange and unimaginably powerful that you never, ever want to meet. but when Wirt actually dares to face the monster head on, not running or hiding or falling for its tricks, he destroys the Beast in less than a minute! the monster that’s been terrorizing the woods for who knows how long, preying on fearful travelers and eating the souls of its victims, is extinguished by simply blowing out a lantern.
OTGW hammers it home that as much as it scares you, you have to face the Unknown in order to move forward. maybe its scary. maybe it will suck. but when you do confront your problems directly, it’s almost as never as bad as it seems.
