maulfucker
maulfucker

hiii I know I rarely ever mention it, but I do have a kofi where you can tip or commission me,,

commission sheet. $5+ for a garfield style icon, $10+ for 2-3 doodles, with backgrounds being a +$10 additionALT

- I can draw both canon and original characters, not limited to star wars (I'm only posting here because this is my biggest blog)
- additional characters and backgrounds add to the minimum price, as you can see if you check the commission option in my kofi
- I am not very verbal and these are pretty simple things that I can get done in a couple days, so after accepting the commission I will probably only contact you again when I'm done with it
↳ - on that note! if you have ideas of what you want, tell me when supplying references, or else it'll be too late

Keep reading

updated the post and sheet to reflect the current Situation and added a few more background examples below the cutso yipeeee time to re-pin it. againpinning this poast
nyc-pizza-rat
willgrahamscock

getting hyperfixated on a specific character is so embarrassing. here’s another picture of The Character on your dash… I know I just reblogged basically the same one but this one is moving

willgrahamscock

what they don’t tell you is that this will go on for a decade and every character that you like is just a different version of The Character

roseverdict
toastycyborg

I scrolled past this without second thought. Paused. Thought, wait, I've never seen a crane on the road. Scrolled back up. No answers. Typed this response, then noticed the book's author. What a whirlwind

orcboxer

Basically they bring it in piece by piece and assemble it on-site, using a smaller mobile crane (trucks with crane attachments) and once the crane itself is assembled, the top part can use hydraulics to climb up and down its own mast, so it builds itself taller like this

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There is however no explanation for BJ Nomnom

roseverdict
derinthescarletpescatarian

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I love the incredibly fair and functional justice system in Ace Attorney

derinthescarletpescatarian

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It was written as a parody of the fairly corrupt Japanese legal system, exaggerated for both humour and gameplay reasons, giving us such lovely gems as:

  • They don't have manslaughter
  • It's never stated outright to my knowledge, but it's generally implied that the penalty for murder is universally or near-universally the death penalty
  • Trials are legally mandated to go on no longer than three days, no matter how complicated they can get. The lab analysis for a poison isn't completed in three days? You can't use it in the poisoning trial. Your witness can't be tracked down on the last day? We go to the verdict without their testimony.
  • Everyone is assumed guilty until proven innocent. The defense attorney has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt, within 3 days, that their client could not possibly be guilty, or they're gonna get a GUILTY verdict
  • In practical terms, this means that if your client is innocent, you have to not only prove that but usually find the actual killer within the three days to show it's a different person. This isn't officially mandated as part of the defense's duties but in pretty much every case it's what Phoenix has to do to exonerate his client, even if he's otherwise proven the killer couldn't be (or is extremely unlikely to be) his client.
  • Both sides can just show up to the courtroom with new evidence and demand it's accepted as evidence during the trial. There's no verification process for this and no requirement that the other side has access to it pre-trial. You can show up with a letter in hand and halfway through the trial be like "this letter was found in the victim's apartment!" and it becomes part of the case then and there.
  • There are no restrictions on where or how you can find evidence. You, a defense attorney who doesn't work for the police force and has no equivalent of warrant law, can break into a witness' house and steal evidence from his personal safe to show in court the next day. This is not a crime apparently.
  • It's normal and accepted that the prosecution will coach all witnesses, usually telling them to lie. It's a huge advantage when you get to interrogate a witness who the prosecution hasn't been able to tell what lies to tell yet. They never face repercussions for this.
  • The prosecution will frequently falsify evidence. They receive no punishment for this and are allowed to continue practicing law. Witnesses will regularly lie on the stand; they receive no penalty for this and the rest of their testimony is still considered reliable. It's up to the defense attorney to expose every single lie; if you can't prove a word against your client is a lie, even from the mouth of a known liar, then your client must be guilty of it.
  • All of your trials are overseen by the same judge and he is comically incompetent. This isn't an oversight of the game he is deliberately written to suck at his job, be easily bullied by the prosecution, generally have very little idea what's going on and issue his verdict based on Vibes.
  • The lawyers will straight up make bets mid-trial with each other like "if you can't find a problem with this next witness' testimony, you have to admit that you're wasting our time and the verdict will be Guilty". The judge lets them do this. This is considered practicing law. Prosecutors will also physically assault other lawyers and the judge in the courtroom but this is okay because it's funny.
  • The cops work directly for the prosecuting attorney and the prosecuting attorney will openly threaten police witnesses right there on the stand in front of everyone if the witness isn't saying what the prosecution wants them to.
  • The level of corruption in the prosecutor's office is just. I couldn't describe it in a bullet point. Prosecutors are straightup hitmen for hire and their weapon of choice is the death penalty.
  • Phoenix gets physically assaulted and robbed by prosecutors and witnesses a lot more than one would reasonably expect. Someone's always there to beat this poor lawyer unconscious and steal evidence from him. He never makes backup copies. That's not the legal system's fault but dude buy a photocopier for your office.
derinthescarletpescatarian

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Guess who's about to get tased and robbed in the police precinct evidence room by a highly respected and successful prosecutor!

Guess who didn't make photocopies of the evidence that's about to get stolen!

tahrust-inmee

Wait wait lemme add some things

  • Prosecutors have full access to crime scenes and it is implied that they lead the police investigations
  • Defense attorneys are not supposed to engage with the crime scene or investigate at all! (Hence why phoenix has to worm his way in or break into crime scenes to get evidence)
  • It is expected that all evidence AND witnesses come from the prosecution. The fact that Phoenix brings in his own evidence and witnesses is *weird*
  • It is implied that not only do trials have to end in three days, but if a trial lasts that long everyone is very confused and miffed about it. The judge was very torn about having to go a second day on one trial bc he made dinner plans
  • False evidence is solved by "whoops, I'm sorry, I didn't know" on the side of the prosecution.
  • False evidence from the defense can result in the attorney being disbarred even if the false evidence came from the prosecution in the first place
  • There is a game where defense attorneys literally get the same sentence as their defendant (put to death) and thats why [insert place here] has no lawyers anymore
  • Apparently the defense is allowed to have random citizens join them at the bench as legal advisers. These legal advisers happen to sometimes be an 8 year old
long postwhadahell...
roseverdict
pillowspace

I should never have to get in a repairman for anything, I should be able to curl up and take 1 nap that magically fixes everything within my radius. this is my magical girl power

roseverdict
orcboxer

damn this bus stop is perfect. now if we could just find somebody to stand upwind of everybody and smoke a decrepit cigarette they found in a tomb

bibleofficial

bitching about outdoor second hand smoke while simultaneously being in or around a car pollution encased bus stop is wild when u consider for even a moment how much worse general car pollution impacts u compared to occasional second hand smoke like …. let’s pick ur battles

orcboxer

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Picture this, you're at a bus stop on your way to work when suddenly through the dense fabric of your kn95 mask which you wear every single day like you have for the past 5 years you smell something evil. A scowling, rancorous smell like someone walked into the Paris catacombs and took a long drag off a femur that once belonged to the world's most hateful frenchman. You glance upwind and see a dude with a manbun puffing fat clouds of malice out of a ghoul's severed finger. You post about it on tumblr and it gets just enough traction to find the one person on the whole website brave enough to say, "You can't complain about that. Because cars cause pollution and you don't wear a mask."

roseverdict
greelin

warm baked goods are insane. something so beautiful and almost maddening about absolutely tearing into them when they’re fresh. feeling warm all over after. I really do get vampires for real

greelin

people still regularly jumping on this post like “ummmm…” “what was that last part???” “not where i expected this to go AT ALL” what’s not clicking. Something is wrong with YOU. not me.

roseverdict
creekfiend

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!