I engage with fiction in a normal way. don’t look at my blog

Amo a la espinaca en general es el mejor vegetal del mundo #my leaf

espinaca fans be like "yeah there's plenty"

SHE IS ENOUGH SHE IS PERFECT JUST THE WAY SHE IS

ESPINACA YOU ARE ENOUGH

HASHTAG MY LEAF

she's nothing

A NOTHING LEAF

SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME

#myleaf

very polite. 10/10

One incredibly good girl

this crab has better table manners than some of the people I served when I was a waitress at the pub.

Paint’n studies I did on my Wii U gamepad earlier in the year.

on your what

She literally does not give a damn what that old fool is yelling about

three fun and sexy facts about me: 1.) i have a slight fructose intolerance which manifests itself mostly in me getting violently ill whenever i eat garlic. 2.) i have “delayed phased sleep disorder” aka my body wants to sleep during the day and stay up at night. 3. i am extremely sensitive to sunlight and cannot be in direct sunlight for more than like five minutes without getting burned or overheated.

extra bonus fun and sexy fact: the one and only time i stepped foot in a catholic church, someone spilled hot coffee on me and i got a bad burn on my chest and had to leave before the service started

unrelated: i think i might start taking classes to become a phlebotomist 

wait i gotta google something

yeah this is funny

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #i bet op would die if you stabbed them in the heart with a wooden stake too /End ID]

Reblog if you bet op would die if you stabbed them in the heart with a wooden stake too

Soda was an effervescent corn-based drink that was popular during the height of the American Empire. Regionally known as pop or coke in some provinces, it was prepared by extracting corn sugars into a thick syrup to be mixed with water

Often dispensed from a many spouted font and served with small, rectangular blocks of ice. Some varieties of soda were thought to have energy enhancing properties.

Actually this has been debunked! While many images found from the time period depict what *appears* to be small blocks of ice, evidence and testing have shown extremely elevated levels of plastic, meaning that those blocks were actually just clear plastic!

It's not yet known why they chose to put this substance directly in their drink, but our leading theory is that it was a religious ritual to show their devotion to the god of plastic. We've found much evidence of the material used during the time period in spite of their access to glass and metal, which we also believe has religious significance.

I have absolutely no recollection of writing this at all

Probably the religious ecstasy from microplastics

Jurch

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

idk who needs to hear this but if you have been putting something off bc it doesn't need to be done until the end of the month. we are almost done with the teens we are approaching the big numbers (the twenties). that date shall dawn upon you swiftly and without mercy before you know it. psa for everyone except me i got plany off time

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

my artists rendition of the morning in question

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

I have no words

Me neither (until the soy sauce, when I yelled "FOR FUCKS SAKE" again).

Until the what

Sony Walkman D-VM1, 2001

you could make such a cool starship filming model out of this

There are a few who will get this, but it will be worth it.

Fun-fact: The original model of the USS Enterprise 1701-D used the old school highlighters that looked like this:

with a little work we got our Galaxy Class starship nacelles. Sci-fi and prop making in general has a history of turning one thing into another for a long time.

behold the USS Staples Back To School Sale

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

oh shit

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

Stop me if you hate the concept: short, fat, hairy lady gets isakai'd into a high fantasy, and instead of "oh look at all these ethereal elves woe for I am but a flawed mortal" routine she lands in Dwarf territory and is immediately revered as the most enchanting and desirable maid in all the land. This immediately becomes a zesty romantic drama. Thoughts