Incorrect Tortall Quotes
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Great Mother Goddess: You are a liar, just like your father.
Aly: Actually, I prefer to think that I’m a liar in a way that’s uniquely my own.
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Merric: I shouldn’t have vented it out on you guys.
Kel: It’s alright. I’m glad you feel better now.
Neal: It’s not alright! You need to buy us ten meals in Michelin 3-star restaurants.
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- Maude: Why are you looking at me?
- Aly: I’m not looking at you.
- George: She’s looking into the vast void that is her future; you just happen to be there.
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- Joren: I hope for your sake that the gods have a sense of humor.
- Neal: Oh, I have 17 years worth of anecdotal proof they do.
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- Alanna: He keeps flirting with me.
- Faithful: He’s a terrible person.
- Alanna: I don’t think so.
- Faithful: That’s the problem.
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- Aly: What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!
- Junai: There’s just no pleasing you sometimes.
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“I just have some worries, as well as some concerns that could potentially turn into outright fears. Oh, there they go! They are fears now.” — Maura of Dunlath -
- Numair: Are you sure you wanna do this? You could always fake your own death!
- Onua: No!
- Numair: I’ve done it, it’s super easy. If you’re ever in Carthak, do not ask for Arram Draper. *whispers* He’s a ghost!
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“Y’know, I rarely say this to people who aren’t me, but you have got to calm down! Bloody hell!” — Neal to Merric -
- Alanna: Do I look like Thayet to you?
- Jon: Huh?
- Alanna: Do. I. Look. Like. Thayet. To. You.
- Jon: No, not at all!
- Alanna: THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREW ME?!
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Okay, I'm not sure if you've done this before, but... How about the Kel version of the codenames meme from Parks and Rec?
Okay so I do have for every series [edit: the OG crew!], so I’ll just put them here, though please know that they’re just for fun bc very clearly most of them would never talk like this lol, anyone feel free to add your versions on :))
Neal: From this moment on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Uline, codename Been There Pined Over That, Yuki is Currently Pining Over That, Faleron is It Happened Once In A Dream, Roald code name If I Had To Pick A Prince, Kel is… Eagle 2.
Kel: Oh thank god.
Yuki: Neal, we’re married…
Neal about Merric: I’d Be Lying If I Said I Hadn’t Thought About It is in position.
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Beka: From this moment on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Dale, codename Been There Done That, Farmer is Currently Doing That, Rosto is It Happened Once In A Dream, Kora code name If I Had To Pick A Chick, Ersken is… Eagle 2.
Ersken: Oh thank god.
Beka about Aniki: I’d Be Lying If I Said I Hadn’t Thought About It is in position.
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Aly: From this moment on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Taybur, codename Been There Done That, Nawat is Currently Doing That, Boulaj is It Happened Once In A Dream, Dove code name If I Could Pick A Queen, Winnamine is… Eagle 2.
Winna: Oh thank god.
Aly about Sarai: I’d Be Lying If I Said I Hadn’t Thought About It is in position.
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Daine: From this moment on, we will be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One. Perin, codename Been There Done That, Numair is Currently Doing That, Kaddar is It Happened Once In A Dream, Alanna code name If I Had To Pick A Chick, Onua is… Eagle 2.
Onua: Oh thank god.
Daine about Jon: I’d Be Lying If I Said I Hadn’t Thought About It is in position.
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What are your thoughts on the Alanna/Jon relationship?
Anonymous
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Kel: Good morning!
Neal: Is it? Is it really?
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Daine: What a week, huh?
Alanna: Daine, it’s Wednesday.
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George: Ma!
Aly: I hope she didn’t embarrass you Da.
George: Oh, don’t mind her, Aly had her first boy over today, and… Alanna shot him.
