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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
deep-state-partisan
sophibug

In a great tumblr tradition, I have decided to rank the "woman scientist" emojis by various companies.

Apple:

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I am concerned by the fact that the green liquid in the ehrlenmeyer flask is clearly producing some sort of gas, but she is only wearing splash glasses. This looks like safety goggle work. Her hair is definitely long enough to be pulled back. The chemical here is "generic green" colored, which is a solid choice, if rare in real life. Please increase your degree of lab safety! 4/10

Google:

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she's wearing proper goggles! Unfortunately, her hair is much longer, and definitely needs to be tied back. Also, she should not hold her weird purple liquid in such an unnatural way; she might drop it. I can't tell if her labcoat is buttoned.

We see here the liquid is "generic purple," and it is in a very confusing piece of glassware. The bottom is shaped like an ehrlenmeyer flask but it has a very long neck and the ticks go all the way up the next like it's a graduated cylinder. I have never seen a piece of glassware like this. Why is it this shape why is her hand like that 2/10.

Samsung:

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This woman definitely looks more like a scientist. She is older, wiser. She is not wearing any eye protection at all. Blue is an odd choice for a generic chemical color (although it does match her tshirt), but the ehrlenmeyer flask looks normal again. I think her labcoat is too big -- I suspect she is facing the structural sexism towards people with larger hips and busts in labcoat sizing. I hope she puts eye protection on soon. I hope her lab increases her salary. 6/10.

Microsoft:

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This woman might have hair that is short enough and structured enough that she doesn't really need to pull it back, and she is wearing safety goggles! However, her lab coat is open. Her generic green liquid appears to be in a graduated cylinder and is over the top measurement mark, which means she doesn't know how much she has. She seems enthusiastic, but I think she is not as educated as she thinks. This woman is performing science without understanding it 3/10.

Twitter:

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Her hair is short, her labcoat is buttoned, her purple chemical is giving off purple gas in a test tube, and she's wearing goggles. This is a quality assurance professional chemist, I think. She is about to put that test tube in a fume hood. I do not fear for her safety. This is a professional. 9/10.

Facebook:

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the splash glasses are back! Now with purple test tube like the previous woman. This is the previous person's coworker who insists it's fine to not be as safe. Her expression shows me she is considering throwing that test tube. I fear for her. At least her lab coat is buttoned 1/10.

whyamiherewhosummonedme
theonion

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Mutely observing as the lewd query was entered into the prompt, a pioneering female archaeologist featured in a Google Doodle bore silent witness to local man Daniel Thornstein’s search for Zootopia porn, sources reported Friday. Harriet Boyd Hawes, an early 20th-century American archaeologist known for her groundbreaking work in Aegean antiquities, reportedly looked on wordlessly as Thornstein typed “judy hopps feet” and “judy hopps stinky feet” into the search bar below a digital illustration of a shovel and a dig site.

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