There’s a post sitting in my flagged posts that’s been there for three plus years. It’s a pair of onions in a bag that looks suspiciously like a pair of fat tits. Apparently it’s flagged for everyone and God i wish i could show y'all
btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv “haha sorry ive never done this without help before… can you show me how to do this?” the employee will not care. if that means anything to you
literally walked up to a desk in the courthouse, said “is this where I register a car or is it the next one?” and she said it was the next one. and the lady at the next desk helped me. it feels embarrassing but I promise you can just ask
One of the most important lessons I learned in customer service is that no matter how much help you need, as long as you’re nice about it, you won’t even crack the top five of worst customers they’ve had to deal with that day. I will walk an old lady through every step on that pin pad with a smile as long as she’s polite, because two calls ago I had to deal with someone screaming about politics for 45 fucking minutes because I wasn’t allowed to hang up on him.
Everyone has their first time doing something, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has dumb moments, and as long as you’re choosing kindness I’ll just laugh it off and help out. Because no matter how dumb you think you are, there was already someone who was just as dumb but was determined to ruin my day over it.
“that time of the month” “monthly visitor” “feminine hygiene products” GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!
You have been offered a full-ride scholarship to get a four-year degree in this field, specifically. Upon graduation, you will be guaranteed a job in this field at the 75th percentile of average salary for the field, with the possibility of further advancement as the years go on.
However, you will never be able to get a job in any other field.
I love asking friends, without context, “what are you really into this week?” I’ll go first. this week I’m really into mouthwash and sudoku. Last week I was into peaches.
we used to be a society on here!! reblog, don’t like! I want to hear what you’re into!!! I’m literally looking into the nyt game Pips!!!
Making a new rule for straight creators along the lines of “don’t kill off your lesbian couple it’s homophobic” but this time it’s “if you’re going to put a lesbian in your show you can’t make her a cop”
the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy is presents a romance-style female-focused fantasy adventure, which is rare for blockbuster movies.
- you are Keira Knightley, the high-spirited and ever so slightly spoiled child of a doting father who happens to be the governor
- every man in the world is crazy about you, from the dashing naval officer who asks for your hand in marriage to the handsome young blacksmith’s apprentice who you met as a child and feel a strong bond with to the devilish pirate lord who saves your life and flirts with you shamelessly and you make out with him once but it’s for a good cause
- you have two weddings, one where you femme it up and then it turns all emo when it rains on your wedding day and the groom is dragged off in chains by another guy who secretly has the hots for you and then you have a second wedding where you dress as a man because you’re the pirate king now and you exchange custom vows and witty banter during a sword fight with zombies
- you are Keira Knightley
- all three of your potential love interests end up on the same ship at one point they have a lot of tension between them but they don’t fight because you told them not to
- a random pirate you knew for half an hour names you his heir and now you command one of the biggest and most important fleets in the sea
- not only that but you became the Queen of all pirates who now obey you and are at your command. You use your powers to destroy the fleet of the East India Company
