I do think Percy loved Luke

HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE CALM DOWN.

Percy very evidently loves his friends unconditionally and he considered Luke his friend. That’s why the betrayal cut so deep. I think he is genuinely sad and angry when he has to constantly state he doesn’t think Luke can be saved. I do think Percy loved Luke (platonically) and he is having a hard time seeing through the anger and grief.

(I am still in the beginning of book 2– no one say anything. I know how Luke’s story ends but I don’t know the middle y’all)

Destroying The Arena: Haymitch vs Katniss

Something that really fucked me up in the parallels between Haymitch and Katniss was how they both went about destroying the arena in their Quarter Quell games.

Haymitch spent an entire Quarter Quell and lost SO MANY people trying to destroy the arena. He has an entire thought out plan with multiple moving parts. Despite the collective effort— this plot failed.

Katniss blew up the ceiling of the arena out of intense emotion and divine timing (or maybe Plutarch sent the lighting bolt on purpose— we don’t know) after thinking she lost one person. Katniss thought Peeta was killed and in that intense anger and grief she destroyed an arena with an arrow, a wire, and timing. As soon as she felt she lost Peeta any fucks she gave flew out the window.

That’s what hits so hard— Haymitch lost everything in trying to ignite resistance. Katniss ignited resistance through her suffering her losses with all eyes on her. Haymitch was beaten down into conformity. Katniss couldn’t confirm to save her life.

Haymitch fought back and suffered immense loss because of it. Katniss suffered immense loss and fought back. Everything Haymitch did was intentional. Everything Katniss did was out of compassion and emotion.

Haymitch never had a chance. Katniss was a chance.

Suzanne you will be hearing from my therapist :’)

finally finishing s4 of The Bear

(I know— life happened)

(I’m on S4E9)

I never really noticed how quiet Carmy is outside of the restaurant. He always forfeits the power in the dynamic to the other person he is engaging with. When he is in the kitchen he maintains the power in the room and is very loud and rambunctious about it.

Carmy definitely struggles with control. He is addicted to the resturant lifestyle because everything is in his control. When he steps out of the kitchen he is at the mercy of everyone around him.

Carmy struggles to say no to his mother no matter how much he wants to. You can tell he is deeply uncomfortable when she is apologizing to him. He just sits there keeping his arms close to his face and his chest. I think he keeps his arms close to his chest because it’s the only thing he can do to feel like he is protecting himself.

I hope Carmy is able to take the necessary steps to build confidence in his sense of self outside of work. I really want him to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with his family and friends. I want him to find what he is looking for.

Just noticed the amount of parallels between Sora’s relationship to Winnie The Pooh and Sora’s relationship to Riku

Voltron: Legendary Defender Random Thought

I don’t trust The Galaxy Garrison. I know what y’all are thinking— fucking duh. There are things about it I feel like we have never discussed and I wanna yap about it. I have reasons why I hate those mfs and then I have some theories.

We all know The Galaxy Garrison is some fucking liars. How? Kieth and Pidge’s entire fucking character arch’s. Their back stories rip holes into The Garrison’s credibility and trustworthiness. Shiro’s backstory also undermines The Garrison’s credibility a lot as well.

Here is a list of the fucked up shit The Garrison did. Most of this shit they covered up and lied about.

- They never looked for the missing pilots on the Kerberos mission.

The Garrison never explicitly state that they looked for Shiro, Matt, or Sam. They wrote reports about the information they had when they were still in contact with the team— but pidge states that the reports showed no pilot errors. The story they told the news was fake to cover up the fact that they lost a team out in space and haven’t looked for them. Nowhere do they ever state that The Garrison tried to look for Shiro, Sam, or Matt— they declared them dead and moved on like nothing mattered.

- They lied about the Kerberos mission.

Building off of the last point— they lied to the fucking country about a failed mission. They fabricated a fake story about the aircraft crashing killing all 3 crew members. We know that’s not what happened obviously. They told these people’s family’s that their loved one died to sweep the truth under the rug. We don’t actually know if The Garrison knew the crew was kidnapped— still it was their mission so they have responsibility for what happens to their officers so they made up a bullshit lie to cover their asses. Not only did they not look for their officers— they lied about what happened to them as well.

- Verbal abuse against students.

Iverson yelling at Lance and telling him he is basically worthless in front of the entire class is verbal abuse. I do not give a fuck. I get that it’s a militarized institution but still— bet you they don’t tell the students’ families that this is how they speak to cadets.

- Imprisonment for surviving an inter-galactic 10,000 year war and making it back to earth in mostly one piece.

Upon Shiro and Sam’s arrival back on earth they were held captive by The Garrison. This was likely so The Garrison could keep their ass covered and keep damaging information under control. Also something I think that should be brought to light— they never told anyone that Shiro made it back to earth. We don’t know how Keith found out but he has his ways. Pidge also has their ways— Lance and Hunk were there by chance. Everyone is surprised that Shiro is alive when they all make it back to earth. That tells me that THEY NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HIM COMING BACK. Also— Sam had to expose their asses for lying to be able to prepare earth for the hellfire coming their way. HE HAD TO EXPOSE THE AGENCY HE WORKED FOR TO SAVE THE DAMN PLANET.

- Withholding information about life outside of earth from the general public.

This one is pretty obvious. Their asses were sitting on this info as far back as Shiro’s return to earth. Probably even further back to be honest.

- Throwing human lives at their problems.

Adam died for no fucking reason. Sam was telling them over and over like a broken record that earth did not have adequate technology to fend off Galran invasion. No one listened. Thousands died. It took thousands of people dying for them to fucking consider what Sam had to say. That’s some bullshit.

- Striking deals with the opposition.

Admiral Sanda sold out Voltron because she thought Sendak would spare the earth. WHAT IN THE 3 YEARS OF INVASION, GENOCIDE, AND COLONIZATION LED YOU TO BELIEVE THAT BOOGIE MAN COULD BE REASONED WITH? HE HAD FORCED LABOR CAMPS.

- overtaking The Voltron Alliance.

This is something that never got addressed. Who the fuck said earth was in charge of leading the resistance in the final season? Last time I checked Allura— the fucking princess of Altea was the leader of The Voltron Alliance. Why did The Garrison reduce her to a fucking cadet? Honest to god season 7 & 8 felt like a U.S. military ad with their weird ass American exceptionalism inserts. The title of Princess is political. Allura is not a global leader— she is an inter-galactic leader. She outranks all of these assholes yet they are bossing her around? Wack.

There is probably more shit— I just can’t think of it off the top of my head. Onto the theories >:)

Here are some theories that I have. You could also consider these head canons I guess. I don’t really care either way.

- The Garrison was involved in the death of Keith’s father.

Do I have proof? No. Do I think it’s possible— yes absolutely. They probably knew that life outside of earth existed. Also the blue lion was hella close to The Garrison— there is no way that no one in that fucking building had no idea something was going on in that desert. Keith stated his dad died on the job, he was a firefighter, because he went back into a burning building against orders. Keith didn’t witness his dad’s death so for all we know that’s a lie he could have been told. They lied about Shiro— who’s to say they aren’t above lying about Kieth’s father too. If they were involved it was probably ensure no information about life existing outside of the Milky Way leaked into the general public. Kieth’s dad possibly died because he knew too much.

- The Garrison knew about life outside the milky way galaxy for decades.

There is no god damn way that the first time those bitches were finding out about other galaxies was when Shiro crash landed on earth. Krolia, Keith’s mom, also crash landed on earth. The blue lion was chilling out in the desert too— all this shit happened in the desert right next to the fucking Garrison. Those assholes knew more than what they led on.

- The Kerberos mission was not the only failed mission that was covered up.

I feel like this is obvious. There are probably hundreds of missing Garrison officers that are either still missing or dead. The Garrison probably lied about those people too.

Anyways that’s my list of why I don’t trust The Galaxy Garrison. They lie. A lot. They also violated their own officers civil rights too.

I do think the writers of Voltron wrote The Garrison this way in the beginning as commentary on corruption in government agencies— they kinda failed at it by the time season 7 & 8 rolled around because it became borderline u.s military american exceptionalism propoganda. They tried and failed.

I get instantly pissed when Goofy and Donald groan when Sora wants to see Santa Clause. I know it’s for the comedic writing but HE IS MY SPECIAL SWEET SUNSHINE BOY— IF MY SON WANTS GO SEE SANTA WE ARE GONNA GO FUCKING SEE SANTA AND HAVE A MAGICAL ASS MOTHERFUCKING TIME. LET SORA HAVE SOME GOD DAMN JOY

HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN CARMY SENDS TEXT MESSAGES TO HIS DEAD BROTHER’S PHONE

The Bear Season 4

Finally starting season 4 of the bear. I am 5 minutes into the opening episode.

I think the thing that causes the most conflict in Mike and Carmy’s relationship is “hope”. Stay with me on this.

All of their interactions are in the past. This was before Carmen was jaded and traumatized by the jackass chef with the glasses (can’t remember his name. Don’t care.). Carmen is a hopeful person (at this point in time). I wouldn’t say he is an outright optimist but he has the capacity to look towards the future with goals and aspirations. Mikey is the exact opposite. Mikey does not have the capacity for hope and is locked in a limited, and I would argue, pessimistic point of view. Mikey is too consumed by the present and the past to even consider the future.

Carmen brings his hope to Mikey and Mikey just snuffs it out without lifting a finger. I can’t wrap my brain around it. Mikey and Carmy are written to be foils of one another so that’s why for writing reasons— but what is Mikey’s motive? Why is he so mean to Carmy? Maybe he doesn’t want Carmen to end up where he is standing. What doesn’t realize is the more he dim’s carmy’s light— the closer Carmy is to ending up where Mikey is.

Carmy’s hope makes Mikey angry. It’s heartbreaking to see. As I make my way through the season I am hoping for more answers on why.

Kingdom Hearts 2 thoughts

I think something we don’t talk about a lot is that Kingdom Hearts 2 at its core is a story about grief. Everyone suffers immense loss in this game but I think Sora is the one who loses the most because it’s not just him it’s Roxas too. Because they merged they can feel each others emotions and recall each other’s memories. From the very beginning of Sora’s journey in KH2 grief consumes Sora. Roxas is looking through Sora’s eyes and grieving through Sora. Every tear shed is not solely Sora’s anymore.

I also believe that as soon as Sora learns of Roxas and puts together what is pain is his own and what pain is Roxas’— Sora begins to grieve Roxas too. Throughout Dream Drop Distance and Kingdom Hearts 3 we see Sora struggle with the loss of Roxas despite never really having him in the first place. The sense of injustice he feels on behalf of Roxas is so tangible. The tears he has shed, the sadness he carries, the determination to give Roxas back his personhood.

Riku held contempt for Roxas and Xion at first because he associated them with the loss of Sora. Eventually he got through that— he could never truly hate either of them because he knows they are apart of the person he loves so much and misses so immensely. Sora eventually grieves Xion as well upon learning who she is and what she has suffered because she is a part of him.

There are so many other examples— Lea and Isa, Kaira, Sora, and Riku, Mickey and Ansem The Wise, Aqua, Terra, and Venus— that’s what I love about this game and this series so much. It’s not the feel good game you expect it to be. You go through the motions of loss, grief, and reunion in so many complex and beautiful ways. That’s what sets this series apart from its competitors. The acceptance of complex emotions we often shy away from in avoiding feeling the hurt. This series confronts them head on.

SodaPop Curtis thought

Something I don’t think gets discussed often is that Darry wasn’t the only one who became a parent to Ponyboy.

SodaPop took became the closest thing to a mother figure Ponyboy had. He was working and paying bills too. He was delaying his life to help take care of both Ponyboy and Darry. He was empathetic and gentle to Ponyboy and was his emotional support to lean on.

Found family is sometimes a broken family with the roles rearranged. Darry definitely became a father to Ponyboy in the wake of their parents death but SodaPop became something close to a mother too.

VLD chaos thought

I think it would have been funny if they dedicated an episode to a fucking tornado.

HEAR ME OUT

how the fuck were there no severe weather events during the earth liberation effort? War causes climate change which leads to severe weather changes. Shit like hurricanes and tornadoes are more frequent and violent now. So how the fuck did they miss the opportunity to include that in the earth season????

Now walk with me folks while we throw realism out the fucking window for a minute. Humor me people— it’s fucking space war.

I think a tornado forming mid-fight would have been such a good episode. A disaster thriller episode where the team had to figure out how to dodge a fucking tornado. Also I think explaining what a tornado is on earth to Allura, Romelle, and Coran would have been hilarious.

Also if they did a tornado episode— what would have really raised the stakes is it being one of those night tornadoes you can only see when lighting strikes near it.

LIKE IMAGINE FOR A MINUTE. They are mid-fight or mid-mission and a storm hits right and they think nothing of it. Then the wind starts to pick up and the uneasy feeling of impeding doom creeps in right. Then BOOM lightning strikes and you see the ugly bastard— a big ass tornado. One of them yells out warning the others to turn the fuck around and hightail it out of there (Voltron is not formed). One of the lions gets sucked into the tornado and now that person has to try to figure a way out or just try not to die. So on and so forth.

if anyone has written a SINGLE THING remotely close to this concept PLEASE— send me a mf link >:)