Heart and Mind

Under my tired look, I was wearing a second, smaller tired look

whoever first pointed out that ilya americanises his accent around other people but not around shane i owe you my fucking life

also the idea of like when its just the two of them ilya can like just slip back into the more comfortable rudimentary accent he had at the start of their relationship :’) and that in itself being nostalgic for shane :’)

this would also be linguistically accurate!

i speak english the most in day to day life and also think in english sometimes. my accent in english is americanized, pretty indistinguishable from a native (excluding sets of certain phonemes like /rl/) .

but if i’m really tired or spending time just around my wife (with whom i speak english), i sometimes switch to what i call ‘lazy english’.

what this usually consists of is i allow myself to speak english with the russian /r/ phoneme that is more natural for me, i drop articles, replace continuous and future tense with simple present, use the ‘….,yes?’ construct, avoid contractions (bc the verb ‘to be’ is dropped/implied in russian, so contractions aren’t always natural)

for example, when i’m in ‘lazy english’ mode, this is how my speech varies:

‘i’m making the bed’ = ‘i make bed’.

‘you’ll help me later, right?’ = ‘you help me later, yes?’ (for this one, in russian, the same phrasal construct ends with the word ‘yes’ instead of the word ‘right’)

‘can you give me a tissue?’ = can you give me tissue?’

‘where’s the pen? do you have it?’ = ‘where is pen? you have?’

if you pay attention, you’ll notice that a lot of these patterns also occur in ilya’s speech, especially earlier on. that’s why i’m particularly impressed with the writing of his dialogue — it doesn’t come across as stereotyping/caricatural because the way he speaks english is consistent with russian linguistic/grammatical rules. this is often how russian-speaking people speak english when it is their second language and they’re still learning.

i like to imagine ilya reverting to ‘lazy english’ or speaking in a similar manner to me around shane. it is linguistically consistent and a sign of comfort/deep familiarity with the person.

The next layer of linguistic accuracy would be for Shane to start occasionally modulating down into a similar "lazy english" that's reflective of Ilya's style. I forget the technical term for this, but it's a legit thing in linguistics -- if there's someone you love/admire/respect and you spend a lot of time with them, you unconsciously start picking up and mirroring a couple aspects of their idiolect (like a dialect but rather than being spoken by a group, it is a single person's unique linguistic fingerprint), whether that's gestures, vocabulary, or speech patterns.

So when Ilya says something like, "Where is pen? You have?" then over time Shane's response might naturally shift towards, "Yes, I have."

Bloodlust 🩸

painting process on my Patreon

tag list part 3 under cut; reply to be added/removed!  

please everyone. i beg you. listen to albums

When I criticize jk Rowling do not assume I always hated Harry Potter. I knitted hogwarts house scarves. I got my first binder to dress as Draco Malfoy for Halloween. I reread the books multiple times. I read probably every pottermore article there was at the time.

I’m not here to validate your smug feelings about not liking a children’s book series 20 years ago. I’m here to discourage others from spending money on it and to give myself and others words and space to work through some feelings. I’m a trans person that made Harry Potter one of my cornerstone interests. One of my favorite things. I’m not some cis person doing cope.

Harry Potter was a big thing. Like. Big in a way that’s difficult to fully understand. It still is. If you were caught up in it during your formative years it’s normal to need to process all of the horrid things now associated with it.

Having to burn down the house you grew up in is going to be hard even if it turns out that the house was always rotten from the inside out. Even if it turns out that the foundation was made of straw. But the destruction and deconstruction must happen if one hopes to move on and move forward. That’s why I talk about it at all.

This. There has to be a balance of burning down the house but also evacuating everyone before the smoke inhalation hits.

Processing betrayal sucks. JKR screwed over the millions of readers who grew up on her stories about standing up to fascism, judging people by their actions and not their heritage, and finding out who your real friends are in times of crisis. She's admitted she only cares about the money now, not about her readers.

When we say we're mad at JKR, we're mad because she either decided that the values extolled in Harry Potter no longer mattered to her or manufactured empathy. But it's hard when you think of how the series provided so much connection and may have given us courage in times of darkness.

The house has to be set on fire. Also, the house still has people inside. We can't get everyone out and treat them for smoke inhalation, but we have to try to save those who want to breathe properly.

I love porn. I love smut. I love shipping. And I hate ai.

Okay, so this got more than the 30 notes I thought it would get. I think folks can stop investing now!

its incredible that there are people in this world who are rude on purpose. i'm rude on accident and 6 years later i'll still be thinking about it with my heart beating so fast it feels like i'm going to pass out and my hands sweating and the sickness and the sickness and th

Good Omens Crew: Hello!

The Fandom: WHAT DOES THAT MEEEEEAAAAANNN 💥💀⚰️🫨

there is always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit

sorry kids daddy lost all his money betting on rhinoceros beetle fights again there won't be a christmas this year

good news babies, momma just cleared some chump of everything. Two christmases this year. God i love beetles fighting

“I forgive you.”

Purple Fusion

I almost forgot to mention: this woman came into the penguin enclosure with a KESTREL??? I said “oh my god is that an American Kestrel?” and she said “Yes! She was outside doing raptor education for the kids, but she doesn’t like to get rained on.”

#she was watching the penguins with what I will anthropomorphically project as skepticism

kestrel: i hate rained on!!

human: here is birds in water

kestrel: ......no.....