“ [ … ] I’M THE FIRST PERSON THEY TALK ABOUT IN ALL THE BOOKS . I’M THAT PERSPECTIVE YOU CANNOT DOUBT ! SEE HOW I LOOK ? CONTROL THE NARRATIVE UNRELIABLY ; BABY , IT’S ALL ABOUT ME ! ”
“ oh, shit. ” that’s certainly going to present a problem in the near future, and morty doesn’t plan to still be in this same galaxy by the time the inevitable consequences of the other’s action rear their ugly heads.
taking several decisive strides back from the corpse splayed out on the desk before them, the teenager glances over to the girl with his mouth agape in bewilderment, and a flash of open disbelief works it’s way across his visage at her query.
bright green blood and chartreuse viscera rapidly pools and paints over the bureau’s metallic finish, and begins dripping off the edges. if he had to guess, he’d say they have mere minutes to start making distance before a guard comes back around, uncovers this unfortunate development, and has an entire fucking army on their ass in an overblown act of retaliation.
“ wh- what?! what do you mean, who did you kill?! that’s- that was- jesus christ, no, there’s- there’s no time. listen. i’m, i’m getting the fuck out of here, and- and you should be, y’know, doin’ the same! y- you’re a war criminal here now, do you get that?! y- you don’t wanna know what the tortures are like here! i- it’s, it’s some messed up shit! ”
cursing, violence, all that good shit. feel free to adjust as you please!
you never know what horrible fate your bad luck has saved you from
thank you for taking the job on such short notice.
you are getting the new and improved me.
you put peace out in the world, you get peace back.
you don’t have bad luck.
it’s good luck. it’s all in how you frame it.
you picked me second?
you have the strangest requests.
hey, this is nice!
it’s like I got a compulsion or something.
I have to take it if I see it.
a goldfish biscuit? I mean, I don’t understand it.
why didn’t you tell me to bring that gun?
you’re bleeding, mate.
oh shit, who the fuck did I kill?
I don’t bleed.
what the fuck is wrong with you?
they’re adaptable, like me.
no one likes lemons.
what’s the catch? there’s always a catch.
oh well, look at this! sleeping beauty!
technically, we’re outside contractors.
you ever watch thomas the tank engine?
I always bring my stickers with me, you know that.
I wanna fucking strangle you right now.
why do you always bring swords?
that wasn’t our fault.
you sound nervous.
you’re overthinking it.
you’re under-thinking it.
my job is to keep you safe.
I plan on completing my job.
the case, go get me the fucking case.
he doesn’t need a reason to kill people like you; he needs a reason not to.
that’s fucking confusing.
you came here to kill me.
you’re going to want to hear the whole story, or you’ll be very, very sorry.
three words describe our situation right now; do you know what they are?
family’s more important than money, right?
let me put this bluntly: there’s this soulless psychotic leader with the largest criminal organization on the planet shoved right inside our fucking ass cheeks.
if you mention that one more time I’m going to shoot you in the fucking face.
he asked for pros who wouldn’t fuck up.
what do you want?
I’m not in someone else’s story, you’re all in mine.
deny it all you want, but you work for someone who works for someone else, et cetera et cetera.
I don’t know what you think I can do for you.
you’re going to kill him for me.
you look so tense.
that sounds dark as shit.
nut up or shut up, bro.
right, so: slight change of plans.
you stabbed me?!
I came here for revenge.
can we just take a time-out here?
I will ruin your life the way you ruined mine.
you are fuckin’ excused.
it sounds so easy when you say it.
I’m really good with faces.
we have to have a hard discussion about the caliber of people we’re surrounding ourselves with.
why are we whispering?
this rude enough for you, you fucking prick?
shove that hat up your asshole, you hear me?
there’s a gun underneath this table pointed right at you.
I’ can’t really hear what you’re saying.
I’m just fucking with you, mate.
who the fuck are you?
you look like every white homeless man I’ve ever seen.
you shot me. you shot me twice.
I shoot a lot of people.
you also have a shootable face.
I’ve forgiven, I’ve moved on.
I’ve always been lucky.
every day is a fucking headache with you, innit?
what’s your plan here?
I’d like to accept your offer.
simple is better.
I ain’t got the time or the patience, let alone the interest.
are you following me?
eat a bag of dicks!
I’m not a diesel, you’re a diesel.
jesus christ, you had a bit of a bosh.
would you describe me as someone who lives in perpetual anxiety?
wanna make an easy two hundred bucks?
is this like, a sex thing?
all right, game’s up.
the innocent young girl act really doesn’t get you very far if you’re holding a gun.
I wanted to handle it myself.
you can’t control what fate has in store for us.
we’re not finished.
this is a complete waste of my time.
unlike you, I’m a professional.
get the fuck off my back, will ya?
we need to deal with that twat right fucking now.
be careful, something else is going on here.
I’m never wrong.
you shoot first, come up with the answers later.
you be careful.
we need boundaries.
I knew my luck would rub off on you.
if the gun doesn’t kill him, the case will.
I brought you here to fail.
it’s a stupid plan.
it’s a brilliant plan.
whatever deal was made, it wasn’t done with the normal channels.
there’s something else going on here.
did you just say whack?
you’re really proud of yourself, aren’t you?
you sure you don’t want to talk this out?
for what it’s worth, you seem like a right fucking asshole and I’m glad you’re going to fucking die with me.
why did you even bother trying?
I don’t think they were in the market for fucking dildos and pantyhose.
I’ll do what you want.
you don’t know anything about life or how hard it is.
I haven’t seen anything like that, I think I’d remember.
I still need a fall guy.
you got a better idea, do you?
I’m finding it very hard to follow this story.
I’m sorry, I get captivated by white girl tears.
I’m really good at reading people and something tells me that you are just not fucking right.
am I dreaming?
I don’t know how to shoot a gun.
you are really good, you sure you didn’t study?
how do you do that? it’s really unbelievable!
I’m glad you enjoyed the performance.
take that, punk!
you bitch!
you gotta be better prepared!
I’m mansplaining again.
you don’t seem like a religious person.
you want me to hold your hand?
are you lying on the ground in the fetal position?
how do you always know what I’m doing?
get off your fucking lazy ass and come here and finish the job yourself.
I want to look into your eyes when I kill you.
I’m so happy to see you.
please help me!
I’m sorry darling, I don’t know who the fuck you are.
a pretty girl makes a good hostage.
keep your fucking knickers on.
there’s been a diesel causing all sorts of fucking havoc.
it was you the whole fucking time!
what the fuck are you doing?
he said he was going to kill you and blame everything on you.
no one’s going to hurt you.
we’ve got to go, right now!
I don’t want to be alone, please!
it’s not your fault.
you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.
make sure you do something that brings you peace.
you’re not going to let me get hurt? be honest.
you’re creeping me out.
I have survived much more and much worse than you.
I’ll fucking kill him myself!
her intentions with you were not honorable.
a blind man could see you were the one in the dark.
I did not need to do anything; fate will do what it wills.
fate for me is just another word for bad luck.
I returned home and found nothing except ash and blood.
he had taken everything from me.
I went into hiding and I looked for a way to strike him out without endangering what I had left.
I did not think fate would ever give me the chance to make things right.
everything that’s ever happened to you has lead you here.
that’s a shit deal.
am I in hell?
where the fuck is my brother?
I’ll shoot you in the fucking throat next time!
I’m fast to kick your ass, I swear to god!
we prepare together or we die alone.
if fate wills, I will get my revenge.
I’ll get is the fuck out of here.
what are you going to do?
I’m going to buy us some time.
I came to see you and to make you finally see me.
I built myself up from the nothing you gave me.
I was the one who deserved your attention. your love.
you have never been part of my plan.
I got a bad feeling about this.
why does it always gotta be us to do this shit?
why do you do what you do?
nothing in life is an accident.
I will always come for you.
if you do not control your fate, it will control you.
why are you here?
I do not know why you are here, but move out of my way.
I’m sorry I shot you twice.
you are not ruled by strength, you are ruled by fear.
just let it go, bro!
what is with this fucked-up family?
you need some suggested reading, if I may.
was that karma?
did you come to rescue me?
did you need rescuing?
what’s happening to your face? are you crying?
do you think maybe there was a little head trauma?
Rick barely spares a glance at the money that are set on the counter for him to take. By now that’s all he needs to assess if he’s being paid what he’s owned or not. The Morty has gotten the amount wrong, even if not of much, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need much to survive and he has more than enough to keep the bar open anyway.
So, he just relinquishes his grip on the glass, allowing the boy to have it without further delay. So the kid not only isn’t Rickless as he had already guessed, but he doesn’t live on the Citadel. Well, that explains a lot. Why he is so independent without being some street stray or wearing some kind of uniform. And also the different casual clothes.
Mortys who still live with their family always look different, even if just subtly, in either appearances or behaviour, from the ones you can find on the Citadel.
Haunting memories from what feels like another life threaten to burst in his consciousness, but he quickly stomps them down. He’ll have all the time to torment himself after his shift.
“N-No, it doesn’t,” he replies with a brief shrug, reaching out to grab another glass. Things will be slow for a little while, he can afford to indulge. And even if he couldn’t, he would do it anyway. He is far too sober to deal with this particular Morty. There’s something about him…
“Or-Or it didn’t till you told me you’re not a local,” he hurried to add, trying to chase away thoughts. “T-Things around here work differently. S-Seeing a Morty on his own is almost as normal as s-seeing them with their Rick. E-Even when they are in a bar drinking.”
He fills his own glass with the contents of another bottle, something that smells much stronger than what he has given the teen…even if he definitely has not served him some watered down shit either.
“G-Great to know that there’s still plenty of asshole Ricks out there too,” he muses, lifting his glass a little in a mock toast, before downing its contents all in one go.
“S-So, are you playing errand boy for your Rick or-or is this some rebellious stunt? G-Grabbed his portal gun without permission to go to a place he hates?” His lips curl in the shadow of a bitter grin. “An-And don’t worry, I won’t snitch. I-I don’t really like Ricks.”
Himself included. If something, he is the one he hates the most.
“ yeah … i guess they do. ” a motion is almost made to extend a sympathetic sentiment to the other for, you know, having to actively fucking live on the shitadel and experience it all firsthand, but c-136 quashes the urge swiftly and thinks nothing more of it. the last thing a rick wants from a morty is— well, anything that could be perceived as pity. he knows better than to expend the flicker of compassion in his chest on one of them.
he huffs in a restrained show of amusement and raises his own glass back despite himself, before knocking the drink back. it burns in his throat unpleasantly, but the brief pain is a comforting one- the tension of his frame eases ever so slightly, his wholly unyielding expression begins to soften around the edges. his perpetual teenage anger tends to mercifully subside once under the influence— unless, y’know, deliberately exacerbated.
“ i’m always playing errand boy whenever i drag my ass here. ” well … nine times out of ten, at any rate. a rueful grin cracks across the boy’s visage despite himself. “ there are way better places to go and ‘rebel’ than the shitadel. cooler stunts to pull. and my rick doesn’t really hate this place anyway. ”not exactly. he’ll stop short there before he puts his foot in it.
morty fidgets with his empty cup absentmindedly, but makes no motion to ask for another just yet. he always at least tries to pace himself.
“ i’ve got my own. portal gun, i mean. i- i made it. take— take a wild guess how impressed rick was with that shit trick. ” reverse engineered it, but- same thing. no need to mince words. his brows lift as self-deprecation pours from his grandfather’s alternate, expression unreadable, and c-136 rolls his shoulders into a shrug. “ m- makes two of us. ”
ovtsa grunts with effort, kicking a charger jellyfish from the sharpened edge of her battle-axe, the creature’s body slumping to the floor with one final gurgling breath, corpse then melting away. she sighs thank -fully, ‘that was the last of them’, she thinks, ‘this room is clear’. ✝️
after picking up her bit of loot, she moves onto the next–it’s seem -ingly empty at first, and she almost lets her guard down: then, the soft pop, pop, pop, of bubbles. all at once, she’s ready to go again. ✝️
she raises her axe, but. takes pause, realizing the other had instead opted for cover, perhaps this was someone friendly? she begins looking around. ✝️
“ hello? ” she speaks, voice surprisingly soft, considering her rather battle-worn appearance, “ is someone there? i will not harm you. ” a pause, she shifts her weapon in her hands, it reverts, turning back into a crown, which she places upon her head once more. ✝️
“ see? no more weapon. ” ✝️
the teenager adjusts his grip on his gun, still not particularly set at ease despite this rapid de-escalation of this situation. it’s really kind of a dick move to maintain his upper hand with the weapon still in grasp, but it tends to be the dick moves that keep you from dying unceremoniously at the hands of a creature way more powerful than you, so. forgive his apprehension.
his gaze darts to regard the crown now perched upon the other’s head briefly — he could swear the eye emblazoned on it squints his way suspiciously — and his expression contorts into a grimace.
what, royalty? get him the hell out of here. nothing good ever comes from getting all entangled in any monarchist bullshit, y’know. (his inner monologue sounds a lot like rick talking right now. he’s gonna go ahead and ignore that uncomfortable revelation.) perhaps the only thing that keeps him from firing a portal under his feet and making a rapid exit from this side of reality is how softly his newfound company speaks.
man … fine. he’s not underestimating how quickly this could go south, though— just for posterity. c-136 rises to his feet and straightens up. the gun is neatly folded with the same ease one might manipulate a sheet of paper, and slipped into the pocket of his jeans with ease once it’s comfily compartmentalised.
“ um … just … just- me. ” that’s one way to introduce yourself, morty. a pitiful, obviously distrustful, way- but a way for sure.
idly, he finds himself wondering if the sight of him is freaking the lamb out, whereas morty himself can pretty much take this oddity onboard in stride considering all he sees on a daily basis. he’s not stumbled across any humans during his expedition of this realm. feels like humanity’s not exactly a thing here. hazel hues have to peer right down to regard the sheep, but there’s not much he can do about the sizeable difference in their stature …
“ i’m not … uh, looking- looking for, y’know- trouble, or anything. not even a little. j- just wanted to, y’know, to take a look around! but if that’s not cool, um, i- i can go! i’ll go, for sure. i dunno if- i mean, the crown, and all, maybe you … like, rule over this place? … and i’m not here to- to question that. or anything. again. no trouble. ”
