Fuck HRT man I need to get bitten by a werewolf

not enough secret gardens and hidden passageways and bookshelves that open to a mysterious library these days. get working on that girls.

on it boss

trapped in the catacombs boss

You may think it cruel but when a white witch pisses me off I go through her etsy listings for native bird feathers and forward it to fish and wildlife services

Sweats in Salem witch descendant

Keep sweating girl the game wardens on his way

real talk for a second here, I've been avoiding media where all the women are extremely thin lately because I'm trying to unroot "skinny as default" from my brain, and it's dire out there

the women from wicked look like they are literally starving to death and every other article is about how everyone who is freaked out by that is "body shaming" or "concern trolling". kpop demon hunters is huge with little girls right now and the members of huntrix all have the same body type of "could fit in a flute case". it bums me out.

On the day of Dick Cheney’s death, I’m thinking about a lot of horrible consequences of his actions, but I’m also thinking about Lauren Hough telling Dick Cheney to waterboard her “if it makes him feel better” when she repaired his cable.

Here’s the article, if anyone else was curious.

[Image descriptions in order: screenshots of a news article titled "I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America." The subtitle says "A glimpse of the suburban grotesque, featuring Russian mobsters, Fox News rage addicts, a caged man in a sex dungeon, and Dick Cheney." The article is written by Lauren Hough, who was "On Assignment For HuffPost," and posted and edited on Dec 30, 2018, 09:16 AM EST.]

[An excerpt of the article, which says "A few months later, my boss called and started with, "Don't kill me." He was sending me to Dick Cheney's. Dick was home.

He had an assistant or secretary or maybe security who followed me around while I checked connections and signal levels. I'd already found a system problem outside. I just wanted to make sure I never had to fucking set foot in that house again. Dick walked into the office while I was working. He was reading from a stack of papers and ignored me. I told the assistant it would probably be a week or so. I'd put the orders in. He had my supervisor's number.

He said something to the effect of, "You do understand this is the former vice president."

Cheney looked up."]

[The article continues, "I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind: "Yeah, well, waterboard me if it makes him feel better. It'll still take a week." And I walked out."

There is a drawing by Sarah Maxwell showing a drawing of a person with short blonde hair in a blue worksuit and orange tool belt. The person is crouched beside a wall outlet and looking over at a balding man with white hair and glasses reading some papers in a chair.]

*taking the gun out of my mouth and leaving an uncomfortably erotic trail of saliva* wait i just had a great idea

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

sometimes I miss the days when gen ai didn’t exist and no artists ever got their hard work mistaken for ai

hate it when the people who I love are suffering due to circumstances beyond my control 👎 there should be a sea monster that I can slay to fix the problem

nobody ever gets locked in a tower or chained to a rock at sea anymore - it's always some shit like chronic illness or ptsd related depression

an editor's job is to keep you humble

[ID: text which reads, "This is all one sentence. It really shouldn't be. Your semicolons, Jeeyon--they bear the weight of universes." End ID]