My dump of interests

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
fury-ous

analog-existence asked:

hi yes hello what the fuck is metrosexual lmfao

cryptotheism answered:

It’s hard to explain to zoomers just how insanely homophobic the early 2000s were. If you were male, and like, washed your hair regularly, people would call you a faggot.

So, dudes who washed their hair and wore button ups developed the term “metrosexual” which meant “I care about my appearance but I am attracted to women and don’t have sex with men.”

cryptotheism

And not just "oh people called you gay to be mean" like they literally thought you were homosexual and hiding it. Women would literally be like "damn, I was super attracted to him, but I heard he wore shorts more than twice in a week, so I guess he must like men."

cottoncandylesbo

you couldn't even wear a scarf. the scarf made you gay.

respectissexy

If you are a tumblr user in the year of our lord 2025 you could be forgiven for thinking "metrosexual" means a person who wants to fuck cities.

oli

And who’s saying I DON’T want to fuck cities?

strange-aeons
jellogram

Whoever made you think you'd get teased for not drinking alcohol at parties was lying. You're their new supreme. You can go pick up more snacks. You can take care of the fallen. You can talk to the cops. If you have a car, you can drive people home.

In movies they always portray the sober person as a nerd but it's more like being a priest. Your lack of engagement in the carnal realities of the party makes you holy and powerful. You are a vital pillar of the community. A rock in a raging storm. Now go answer the door for the pizza man.