somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i’ve left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they’re not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he’s screaming.
all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you’re not playing pretend you’re locked in you’re comfy cozy you’re snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead
and like. if you’re the one awake you’re playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i’m a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we’re doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they’re sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.
plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you’re waking them up with your screams
oh great and this guy’s here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum
My favorite part of youtube is the part of it that is middle-aged-to-old guys with zero production value who have made a simple, low-quality video on their phones about how to repair the exact fucking appliance that has been giving me grief so I can fix that fucker myself instead of spending hundreds of dollars to hire someone.
These men are all my honorary uncles and I love them.
being on this site during a current major yaoi event while you’re still in the trenches of something long gone like hey I know you guys are having fun over there but does anybody wanna play with this beat up crusty doll i’ve been throwing against the wall for five years
