a blog for non-SAM aros, "just aros", and more

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
asexual-society

gautierprotectionsquad asked:

Would you mind if i send you academic articles i find that talk about aromanticism/alloaro identites?

moongh-sts answered:

i would love that actually, thank you!! i did manage to find something but if there’s more it’d be huge

raavenb2619
moongh-sts

so im doing my thesis on amatonormativity in books right, and rn im reading through research on ace and aro identities as part of it. and i am so genuinely tired of aromanticism being always mentioned next to asexuality but almost never (at least in what i've managed to find so far) as you know. its own thing. i get the connections and all that, but can every researcher please stop assuming that every aro person is also ace. and can aromanticism be its own topic for like 5 minutes. im here to write a few pages on this so i can show that i know what im talking about but it's personal to me and i keep having to cut off my ranting. i am not writing this shit to argue with those people. i would like to, but sadly i have a lot of other more interesting things to talk about and if i start going on about aro/aroallo erasure we're not gonna get to those things in a long while, and if i start bringing up the discourse online we're gonna be here even longer

it's personal and upsetting because being aromantic is an important aspect of me and my sexuality is also an important aspect of me and genuinely i feel like i dont get to keep both at the same time in a lot of spaces. im a writer, both fanfic and original stuff, and i am always anxious about how the relationships in my works will be interpreted. i tried to write aro characters and/or platonic relationships with sex involoved and often they have been interpreted as romantic in some aspects anyway. i get that people enjoy romance - i enjoy romance ao3 history be my witness - but id also like for them to not make it the main focus where it is not.

this post is being sponsored by my frustration at lack of academic resources on aromanticism available to me that aren't actually about asexuality + my frustration writing platonic relationships. i am however aware that theres a wonderful community that does in fact get me and writes amazing fic (hello once again ao3 history) and thinks a similar way. it just gets so tiring when trying to engage in academic discourse, especially since english isnt my native language and trying to research this stuff in my first language is like heres two articles about it and both are treating being aro as an afterthought

raavenb2619
arowritingprompts

“Love them? No, the bond we share is so much deeper than mere love. We are rivals.

yesimprojecting

“Sooo….”

You glance at your (rather annoying) best friend. “Yes, Aren?”

He plants his elbow on the desk and leans obnoxiously on his hand, grinning at you. “There’s been rumours about you and Sana.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

You dismiss him, turning back to your work. You need to get this speech written by tomorrow.

“Aww, come on, Kei,” Aren whines. “Everybody’s dying to know what’s up with you two. And it sure does seem like love from where I’m standing. I just wanna help my best friend through their first crush!”

You glance up from your work at that. “Love her? No, Aren. The bond we share is so much deeper than mere love. We are rivals. And I am going to win.” You put your head back down and refocus on your speech. You have a debate against Sana tomorrow, and it needs to be perfect.

“Huh. Wow, there really is no love in your debate-obsessed little heart, huh. So cold~” You ignore Aren’s continued fussing. He’ll calm down eventually. He was like this over the gender reveal, too.

“But no really, I guess it makes a lot of sense that the only person to really catch your attention is someone as uninterested in love as you are. You’re a perfect match still, hmm? Just not in what people think you are.” You hide a smile at Aren’s speculation. He’s not wrong.

He nudges you then, smudging the next line you were about to write. You fix him with a glare, and he holds up his hands in surrender. “Hey, hey, chill, Kei.” Then he switches modes instantly, leaning close and grinning at you. “But hey, not loving her doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be here for advice for my bestie, yeah? She’s still your first something, right?”

You sigh disgustedly, annoyed at how it only makes his smug grin get wider. “You’re insufferable,” you inform him.

“You know you adore me, Kei,” he sing-songs right back.

“Fine, then,” you acquiesce graciously. “Since you’re so insistent. You can help me do research. And maybe I’ll reward you by telling the many and varied ways she is important to me. Maybe.”

Aren droops. “You’re a cruel, cruel, person, Kei. But damn do you use good bait. Fine! I’’ll help. But you better keep your word, okay?”

“Yes, yes. Fine. Now go get me the books on this list.” You shove the list at him. This’ll save you at least fifteen minutes that you can instead dedicate to utterly perfecting this speech.

You truly cannot wait to see Sana’s reaction.

void-chara
aromanticandchill

anytime someone writes a post about aromantic people in a relationship and specifically aroallo people there will be some asshole in the notes going "as long as you don't lead the other person on it's fine ❤️" and it pisses me off because I *know* they mean "explain everything about your attraction to the other party or you're a selfish bitch" and it's so fucking infuriating. how about YOU explain yourself for a change. how about YOU explain how important romance and/or sex is to you. how about you stop thinking of yourself as someone who doesn't have to be vulnerable and tell the other person what you want. how about that

just-aro

how about you (the alloallo) think about what it means to be the default for people who do not have that privilege? how about you answer tedious legions of questions about the morality of your feelings, the process of understanding them, and the ways you practice safety? how about you listen to us compare your relationship styles and preferences to predators with no true intent but to emphasize how evil and impure and manipulative you truly are?

how about you remember that your beliefs and opinions are not inherent fact, and leave us be, the way you expect us to do for you?

adding on as the loosely allo aro altee in our system
elprupneerg
crabussy

"you have to chose one person. ONE. who you are supposed to care about more than anyone else in your life, and if you don't want that, there must be something fundamentally wrong with you and you'll eventually realise you were meant to spend your whole life with this one person who you will inevitably have sex and children with" sounds like the premise to a gut twisting psychological horror movie but nooo. it's a real life mindset shared by a frankly terrifying proportion of earth's human population

amatonormativity amatonormativity my beloathed