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Aborted Descartes voice: I would've thought...if I was.

really mean minecraft mod idea: rituals that work but in a very vague and hard to understand ways

at the start of a world, a set of actions are randomly chosen which have some positive effect. walking counterclockwise around a tree or throwing an item into a fire or killing an animal with an axe. there has to be a very large number of possible actions such that they won't seem to repeat.

when doing a ritual, you get a buff that's clearly there but kind of subtle. maybe ores drop more, or monsters don't hurt as much. it's never communicated that you have a buff, the idea is that you accidentally do a ritual and notice "oh shit I'm getting really lucky, maybe I should do that more"

there's also a set of attributes which can greatly increase the effectiveness of your rituals, completely randomized per world of course. sometimes it's additional steps, drawn from the same set as before. sometimes it's decorating the ritual site in a particular way, with skulls or candles or flowers. maybe it's more effective at a certain time of day or phase of the moon. maybe it's more effective on the top of a mountain or in a cave.

because the magnitude and duration of the buff is randomized, you can't really know if stuff you're doing is helping, but you'll be always trying shit out and modifying your rituals. the buffs get really impactful, and you can hardly play the game without them.

after a while you'll build up elaborate rituals and intricate temples housing them, and importantly

half the shit you're doing does absolutely nothing

if you get lucky a few times with a modification to the ritual you'll adopt it even if it actually does nothing. depending on how succeptible to confirmation bias you are, you might develop whole rituals that literally do nothing but you're entirely convinced that they do. you'll be dancing around trees and putting pumpkins on your head for literally no measurable benefit.

will this be actually fun? probably not. will I actually make this? absolutely not. i just think it would be an interesting case study in behavior. if someone wants to steal my idea, please do and tell me so I can play it.

@linearmoss

Ways to make everyone instantly uncomfortable: If someone casually mentions some apparently commonly known fact that you hadn't heard of before, you can always say "oh, that's a real thing? I thought that it was just a porn trope."

My friend had no idea the southern hemisphere had opposite seasons until I told him (we are both adults)

I think I would’ve died on the spot if this had been his response.

I imagine there's been at least two christmas-themed New Zealand porn films featuring sex on the beach, but the implication that there'd be enough to make up their own genre, and have it be someone's favourite genre to the point that they assume that the circumstances are just a porn trope, would have killed me on the spot also.

Cause of Death: finding out your friend is so into such a hyperspecific brand of NZ porn they believed the axial tilt of our planet was made up for said porn.

It's probably too long to go on a tombstone, but I'd say least make sure it got into the obituary.

Make the text on the tombstone get smaller and smaller every row like the person carving it realised halfway through that they're running out of space but still decided to keep going.

Why do you guys think tombstones have cause of death on them?

Wait, they don't? Is that just a porn trope?

“holy grail” is short for “holy grind rail,” a technique jesus used to get around jerusalem quickly

jesus being a carpenter is actually a common misinterpretation of the text! he shredded a different kind of board

This is so youth pastory

if your youth pastor is telling you about the holy grail you are probably being indoctrinated by the knights templar

I've been giving this writing advice to a lot of my friends lately so I'll do a mumbling post about it here.

You gotta play dolls with your characters.

Slap them in AUs, make silly fanfiction, make "what if?" senarios. You gotta recreate the feeling of taking your toys out as a kid and improv-ing a story on the spot. You'll get a sense of what makes them who they are outside of their main storyline.

Take a piece of yourself, expand and explore upon it. Create characters and storylines that are love letters to those you've cared most about. Take that little ball of hate and/or despair and give yourself a little therapy lesson.

Be bored! Be frustrated! Be unsatisfied! "Someone should make a story about ___" YOU should make that story! If you aren't satisfied with the media you see, make for yourself the story you DO want to see! Don't worry about how others will view it. For right now, for right at the beginning, the only way you're gonna make progress is if you're having a bit of fun.

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

‘Vagina-owners’

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

Reblogging because I didn’t know this and it needs to be shared.

losing my mind at this amazing story from r/dndmemes some people’s dnd adventures are just. So Fucking Cool

here’s the link and the story, it’s Amazing

THE FUCKING REVEAL AT THE END LIKE THIS GUY IS LEGIT LIKE

THATS MY WIFE AND I LOVE HER

Quite shocking how hands are one of the hardest things to draw despite seeing them every single day for years

knock knock

who's there

deez

sigh

deez who ?

deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise

Holy fuck you illegally downloaded a cardigan

no fuck you i just got into knitting 4 days ago i CANNOT be this tempted by machine knitting thats an entirely new skill

This feels illegal. I love it.

I generally start regretting every display of emotion I have about five minutes after its over

literally

I am not a particularly techno-optimistic person or a futurist or singularity believer or anything like that, but I think it kinda sucks that a lot of people in reacting to the nebulous threat of “the tech bros” have let themselves be negatively polarized against pretty straightforwardly correct ideas like “bodily autonomy and assistive technology is cool” (that is, fundamentally, the spirit that motivates transhumanism) and “death is scary and tragic.” One of the oldest extant works of human literature is largely about how awful mortality is and how hard it is to come to terms with death; it is in fact an incredibly common sentiment throughout history, and just because some people you know who really suck are also scared of dying doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

#especially pissed and sad about the transhumanism thing tbhhh#wdym a website full of furries and trans people has also become radicalized against the idea#that making whatever modifications to your body you'd like is cool and morally neutral no matter how 'inhuman' those mods make you#wdym the website with the largest community of profoundly disabled people i have seen on mainstream socmed#has also easily fallen prey to radicalization about how modifying your capabilities with external tools is somehow#tainting and corrupting the purity of the human spirit

that’s vastly simplifying transhumanism just to make opponents sound stupid

Maybe people (even disabled people) don’t view our bodies as something you can “upgrade” and treat as just a tool/object, like changing headlights on a car

and what objection do you have to that?

My body is upgraded by my glasses and my medications. By my dental implants.

How are those not upgrades? Are tattoos and piercings not aesthetic upgrades? Artificial hips and heart valves?

Am I supposed to think this fragile pain-box is.. magical? Sacred? It's haphazard garbage engineering at best. I'm not obligated to layer on some 'spiritual' attachment to it because it was yet another shitty hand-me-down from my parents.

If I could step into a new body of my choosing right now I would shuck this thing off like a sweater soaked in swamp-water and never look back.

If it's the result of blind natural forces, then we can do better and should.

If its the result of a designer?

Well, it's not playing god if you take the task more seriously than he did.

this is such a point-and-click protagonist thing to say