love how when people go to europe they'll say the country and when people go to the usa they'll say the state and when people go to asia they'll say the country and when people go to south america they'll say the country but when people go to africa they go to africa. like ok bru. wow. the entire thing? impressive

"when my dad was in spain last summer..." ok "when i was backpacking around thailand..." cool "back when i visited florida...'" nice "my sister's in africa right now--" BROTHER WHERE

stop reblogging james and the giant pronoun

james and the giant pronoun

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

“I ate an edible last night” yeah I did too you dumb fuck it’s called food for dinner

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

hi guys! discord is doing a survey on how people would like ai to be integrated into discord. take it and say fuck no to every question. when you get to "in general, how do you feel about discord inegrating ai features?", respond that you would actively get everyone you know off of discord and wouldn't pay for nitro or other shop items if they added ai features.

watch out for the trap! there's ONE QUESTION where the last option *isn't* the max 'no AI' option, read each part carefully to be sure

Wait, is this a legit thing from Discord? It's not being hosted on Discord's domain. If it's real, why am I finding it on Tumblr instead of it being sent to users directly by Discord? It's not asking for login info or personal info beyond age range and gender (which is optional anyway) so I'm not sure what the purpose would be in faking this, but I'd appreciate some kind of source for this before I pass it around to my friends...

Qualtrics is a company that does market research on behalf of other companies. They've been around for a very long time and it costs money to work with them. That's not a free site where you can just create a quiz.

I have done research that I know was from Discord in the past and they have used qualtrics to do market research before. Here's a link from an official Discord document to a qualtrics survey.

All of this to say I cannot guarantee it 100%, but 99.9% likely that it is legitimate.

Speaking of near certainties, by the buy, that question was not likely structured that way in order to trick you. When someone's paying for research like this, they want the whole story and they want the real information. It's more likely that that answer was added at the very end of the process, rather than as part of the original design of the survey. It was added at the end because it was new, not because they wanted to trick you. Never assume malice where apathy or bad design are possible.

"It was just a joke!"

Sure. It also wasn't very funny and it bombed. And now you have to deal with that.

"You can't even tell a joke anymore!?"

You can and you did. And people can react to it. Here we are.

When I hit thirty I decided I'd stop laughing at men's jokes if they weren't actually funny and let me tell you, they fucking hate it

currently imagining bingqiu being at their most affectionate in the early morning. lbh wakes up before sqq almost always and is so enamored by his sleeping shizun, with his hair tousled, face flushed, making small noises in his sleep... lbh just has to hold sqq in his arms and stroke his hair while sqq, still half asleep and unaware of what's happening, reflexively puts his arms around lbh and snuggles closer, still making cute little sleeping noises

the things you hold dear

boomer take incoming but there's something that ends up kind of anti-social about social media in the way people use it as their only avenue of disseminating information. like the amount of times that I have completely missed big news from my friends or relatives because they're in the mindset that posting about something on Instagram is the same as telling people. they don't think to send a text or pick up a phone because they posted about it. so if you either aren't on Instagram or just didn't happen to see that post, you get to find out months later something like your cousin is pregnant or your childhood friend is engaged, and now is probably annoyed that you never congratulated her, when you literally didn't know, because she didn't actually tell you, because an Instagram story is actually not the same as telling people your news, but she thinks it is.

To update this, the astronaut didn’t actually do it, she and her wife were getting a divorce and the wife plead guilty to lying to the feds about it

And framing your ex for a crime mid-divorce while they are actively in space is some Agatha Christie level shit

The implication of Victor being an undergrad in the novel is incredibly funny because, yes, it explains so much of his behavior and audacity, but it also means Victor's apartment could've been some sort of student housing, which means there were other undergrads living there, too.

Which means when Victor wakes up to the Creature standing by his bed like ☺️, and Victor freaks out and runs away, the Creature could have ostensibly wandered into the hallway after him, only to be met with a pack of incredibly drunk-after-an-all-night-1818-rager yet well-meaning frat boys.

Who were so blasted that they were just like, "Dude, what, do you play rugby? Holy shit, he's fuckin' huge, look at this fuckin' guy! Absolute unit!" And they all whooped and hollered and just ushered the Creature into their dorm to keep the party going.

And the Creature was just like, "?????" but very pleased to find other people vaguely shaped like him, so he lets them because he may be just minutes old but he knew early on all he really wanted was one (1) buddy and now there's, like, a herd of them and they're all having a blast.

When the guys inevitably pass out, sloshed beyond all sense, he just sits and waits for them to wake up and when they do, later that morning, he's poking at one of them to make sure the guy is still breathing, and the kid wakes up and yells for a second and squints at the 8 foot-tall (rugby???? player????) guy in their dorm and is like, "Shit, what is that?"

And another one squints at him and goes, "I don't fuckin' know, bro, but he can throw us so hard. Did you see how David just...fuckin'...flew out the window last night? Just hurled David like it was no big deal. That was awesome."

David groans and puts his head under his pillow because his headache is awful but he lets out a pained, muffled, "that was awesome" in agreement.

So in a rare case of wholesome frat boy camaraderie, this herd of college roommate boys, all of whom are dumb as rocks but well-meaning, just take the Creature in because, "There's this huge fucking monster guy and it's the coolest thing we've ever seen."

This would possibly mean the Creature is socialized to be a dumb-as-rocks frat boy, but because I cannot allow that to happen and because there is no universe in which he would not be into poetry, he somehow also gets socialized by liberal arts majors and is just as Sensitive™, it rubs off on his frat buddies, who start saying things like, "No, man, it's Sturm und Drang, it's, like, the fuckin' vast rolling of the soul that, like...fuckin' eschews Enlightenment rationalism."

But some of the boys' lingo inevitably rubs off on the Creature so when, months later, Victor comes back to get all of his things with Henry post-mental breakdown, he bumps into a crowd of rowdy guys playfully jostling each other, and that crowd includes an 8-foot tall dude in a letterman jacket holding a volume of Goethe in one hand and a tankard of beer in the other, and he scoffs down at Victor and goes, "Accursed Creator! Why didst thou abandon me in my hour of need? Fuckin' lame."

And all his buddies go, "Yoooooo!" and high five.

The Creature in class getting perfect grades as his frat boy besties cheer him on:

THIS!!! @thewhiitelotus ! This is the thing! Look me in the eye and tell me ANY undergrad wouldn't be stoked beyond belief to befriend an immortal promethean monster. "He's like a mini kaiju, he's like the fuckin' Hulk, he can recite the entirety of Paradise Lost by heart, he rules."

I can quite literally hear those words in the voices of the undergads i work with lmao. Asking what they did over winter break and they say “oh you know, i saw family and went skiing. Oh and my friends and i also adopted some guy who is actually just a bunch of corpse pieces stitched together by this other guy in our dorm who’s lowkey manic and crazy smart but apparently kind of a dick. We’re taking him traffic cone-sledding tomorrow.” They would adore him. Victor better watch out bc one of these days these unhinged 20-somethings are gonna cover the entirety of his floor in plates they stole from the caf and get the Creature to move his fridge into the shower.

@thewhiitelotus They! Would! ADORE! Him! Not traffic cone sledding!!!!!!! God, not to condone harmful hazing practices EXCEPT! The Creature enacting them on Victor! Where is your bed, Victor? OH, IT'S ON THE ROOF.

The Creature with all his buddies below yelling, in his genuinely cursed melange of slang, "Now thou mayst reap the fruits of thy terrible labor, creator! Now thou must suck a diiiiiiick!"

The slang is killing me omg. “Thou should have been Unc, creator. But alas, for in the depths of thy heart, thou must be a hater.” And all his bros are booing in the background.

Also now i’m thinking about how there’s a big wooded area on the campus i work on, and how the Creature would be feeding deer berries and having all the birds come land on him and stuff, and all his friends are like how is bro doing that???? Then they all switch majors to wildlife biology bc they want to feed the deer like their new strangely tall undying friend.

"How is bro doing that???" I CAN'T Frat dude 1: "Bro's like a fuckin' princess. Dude, how are you doing that?" The Creature, as multiple birds eat right out of his hand: "Sit, becalmed, and knowest thou this truth: they held dominion here first; we are merely guests in their domicile. Be chill, man, in the clerb of Nature's bosom, we all fam."

@eolewyn1010 CORRECT, if anyone in that book can befriend absolutely everyone, it is Henry Clerval. And then it would stand to reason that Henry befriended the Creature because "he's a capital fellow and such great fun!" and Victor's head would just roll right off his shoulders.

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

The worst thing about being self aware is that while you can and do grow, it’s a slow process that feels like pulling teeth

if you dont have homemade blorbo to torture store bought is fine

genuinely i do not remember making this post. judging by the timestamp i must have woken up, written this, and immediately gone back to sleep. i must thus draw two conclusions:

1) my subconscious is better at tumblring than i am

2) i was, presumably, dreaming about blorbo torture

this is the plot of Journey to the West