I get annoyed when people are making posts that are shocked that Shane pulled Ilya. And like maybe, /maybe/, Shane locked down Ilya (there’s an argument that Ilya ‘domesticity kink’ Rosanov locked himself down as soon as he could get Shane to agree to it) but Shane did not pull Ilya, Ilya pulled Shane.
Canonically Shane is one of the hottest men in the world, he’s rich, he is at the top of his high intensity career, and he has the biggest saddest wettest most beautiful brown eyes out of anyone on the planet. The moment Ilya saw a scrap of interest he was arranging for them to be in a commercial and jerking off in the shower at him. Ilya watched this man fold his pants one (1) time and thought “well i gotta fuck him forever now”. Shane tried to say there wouldn’t be a next time and Ilya was like it’s too late, I’ve got your number, you’re never getting rid of me, if I annoy you enough you will come organize my socks as like a sex thing.
constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how he’s next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasn’t killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.
I keep sending them off on “boar hunts” together and wouldn’t you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!
my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who’s my best friend in the world and recently he was like “you’re too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!” and I was like “a niece might be more up my alley” and he just got more excited and said “ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful”
sometimes reading fanfic is like enjoying a gourmet tasting menu from a team of expert chefs who all have different styles and approaches to a favorite cuisine
and sometimes reading fanfic is like standing in front of the open fridge at three in the morning shoving handfuls of shredded cheese into your mouth
