Pinned
I have major problems with Stancy becoming canon. More so than any couple in the show because this is that ONE couple where we explicitly know one of them wants what the other doesn't.
I, personally, think it is irredeemable if your boyfriend slut-shames you just because you were with a male friend. I think it is crazy that Steve just let his friends write shit about Nancy without even talking things through with her first. But I have similar issues with Jon clicking weird, consent-less pictures of her. So that's not my main issue with Stancy. Because we HAVE been shown, at the very least, that Steve was regretful of that action and that he is a much nicer, kinder person now. But there's more.
The main issue with them is that Steve NEVER asks what Nancy wants. This is the start of their end in S2. Nancy wants to come clean with Barb's death. She wants to talk about it, she wants to digest and face her trauma of losing her best friend head on. But Steve doesn't understand that. He wants to party as a way of maintaining normalcy. But Nancy Wheeler has never been that girl. Barb thinks Nancy is acting weird when they go to Steve's place to party in S1. Nancy does NOT think partying, and essentially just burying her memories, will help her. Steve and Nancy not being on the same page about issues like this is what drives the two of them away, and it is what brings Nancy and Jon together because he UNDERSTANDS her.
But I would have still been okay with Stancy if not for that one dialogue in S4. Steve wants 6 little nuggets, and he wants Nancy Wheeler to be a part of it. Do you see a pattern? Again, Steve wants Steve wants Steve WANTS. What does Nancy Wheeler want? We KNOW she doesn't want to end up like her mum. That, that alone, makes it obvious that Nancy does NOT want the life Steve is thinking about. We KNOW she has dreams and aspirations of wanting to go to college and becoming a journalist.
No, I don’t hate Stancy because Steve is a misogynist. I do not think wanting 6 kids is misogyny. But it’s who he wants them with. It’s the assumption he has that Nancy Wheeler will just absolutely be okay with giving birth to 6 kids (or even adopting them before some dumbass tries to argue with that). It’s this assumption that gives me a bad taste in my mouth. Because it is a recurring pattern with Steve and Nancy. And it is especially important now because we, as the audience, know that Nancy does not want that.
I think there’s also deep societal problems with the way this love-triangle is being formed. Because, again, as made obvious in S1, Nancy does not want the life her mother has. Then, pray tell, why is she suddenly going to be okay with it from S5 onwards? Now, a woman CAN suddenly want kids in the future. Ofcourse, that’s her choice. But the message this sends is ridiculous, in this context of Nancy not wanting to end up like her mother. “Oh, look, Nancy Wheeler has matured quite a lot. She is leaving her childish rebellion behind. She is finally falling into her role as a member of this society.” THIS is the message it sends. And I don’t think we need that! Do not try to come here and argue that it is important that we see that it is okay to want something else in life before and something else later. We know that. Every woman fucking knows that. The world has pushed that down our throats enough. We have enough movies and dramas and songs and artwork about it. Every fucking woman knows it is okay to want kids, just look around you. Just look at the media you consume. Nancy Wheeler, as a strong female protagonist who has been shown to despise the life of a housewife and mother, should absolutely NOT be shown to fall for the same societal pressure of wanting children.
And yes, you CAN still have a career even after having kids. But let’s not act as if becoming a mother doesn’t suddenly take away career growth and opportunities from you. She wants to be a journalist, for crying out loud! Journalists travel all around the world, they go into difficult situations. You know DAMN well people trying to hire Nancy will talk about how difficult it will be to be a journalist while still caring for her SIX kids. And it won’t matter what Nancy says, she will always be seen as a liability and she will be the first one cut off, ALWAYS.
I have seen this pattern innumerable times in my country. I have seen how women are expected to “grow up” when they reach adulthood and I know how having a family is a checklist item every “respectable woman” should have. I am a woman myself. I have faced these expectations head on. I have argued with my own family about women not having kids being okay. Characters like Nancy Wheeler are important representation. Changing a crucial part of her character just so she can be together with Steve is ABSOLUTELY horrendous writing.
I don’t give a fuck about how cute they are together. I don’t give a fuck about how much they care for each other. They can do all that and more while still remaining friends. Stancy breaks down all of Nancy Wheeler’s character. And Stancy constantly reminds us why Steve hasn’t changed either, he’s still that self-assuming prick from S1. Stancy is not good for either of the two parties involved and I hope they won’t be together in S5.
