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Now for some sports news...

(my latest cartoon for Guardian Books)

its been a HOT minute since i gave yall a peps update

I replaced his substrate so he's got burrowing room again, here's one of his lil tunnels

#is that a cremé bruleé bowl in there?#didn't notice where the lizard was at first. was transfixed because i think someone i know knows how to make it because they have#a blowtorch last time i checked. if the bowl looks that big then that is an absolutely miniscule animal right there#edit i noticed it was a snake. believe corn snakes tend to be itty. there's rat snakes occasionally around here. hm

it's a ramekin I used to use for french onion soup! It's bowl-sized, not dessert sized, I repurposed it as a water bowl for my boy

That tail! Photo from my collection, no date/info.

Dangers of flushing the public toilet:

Dangers of not flushing the public toilet:

[ ID: photo of David Attenborough sitting on an oceanside cliff, with the quote: 

If I die while I have a pet, let my animal see my dead body. Let them see my dead body please. They understand death and seeing me dead will allow them to mourn, but if I just never show up one day they’ll think I abandoned them. I know what it feels like to be abandoned and I never want anyone to feel that way, especially my dog.

- Sir David Attenborough /ID ]

No, this is good advice.

Please let my cats know I'm not leaving them because I want to. Please let them understand.

When Alice died, it was supposed to be at home. The doctors were supposed to come and let her go peacefully and without fear. But everything happened so fast, and she died at the vet. No one thought about Thomas (me, included: I was gone by that point, so broken by grief that if I could have died with her, I would have, just from wanting). From his perspective, we had been whisking her off to the vet at least once a week for eight months. And this time we just...never brought her home.

They were bonded, and he was distraught. For months, he kept trying to get into the garage where we kept the cat carriers, so he could find her and make her come inside. For months. His grief was real, and so furiously urgent, and I will forever feel bad for not bringing her body home to help him understand.

Please don't do that to my babies when I go. Let them see me and sniff me and understand that Mother Is Gone.

the man who sleeps with a machete under his pillow is a fool every night except one

Is developing a mild interest in etymology of words an ADHD trait or is it just me? Like is it a common experience to start thinking "huh, that's a weird word now that I think about it, I wonder what its origine are?" and get distracted by that line of thought when you were trying really hard to focus and pay attention to the words when someone was talking to you.

Them Eat Crab.

every maryland friend group looks like this

You know how there's a specific type of person who makes you think "damn, you really were neglected as a child, weren't you?" Like even if you have no idea about how to care for children at all, you just know that there was something that their parents should have been doing, something that they were supposed to do, that could have prevented this person from turning out that fucking stupid, but they just didn't do it.

Hey now, I think I'm a catch.

HEY! FIFTEENTH DOCTOR! MR. THICK THICKETY THICK HEAD FROM THICKTOWN THICKANIA

JUST GO BACK TO THE DAY BEFORE THE DATE YOU CAN'T GET TO AND HANG OUT AWAY FROM YOUR OTHER SELVES FOR 24 HOURS

THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

It's nothing short of amazing how you could never use a mere sewing needle to puncture through leather, but as soon as there already is a needle hole in the leather that you're trying to push the needle through, it'll rather make a new puncture right next to it, 0,5mm apart.

If I was evil and went to visit someone's home for the first time and I know they have a cat, I would rub my wrists with catnip before leaving the house, so when I get there the cat smells the catnip and is all over me purring and rubbing on my hands and the owner is like "omg my kitty loves you! That's never happened with a stranger before!" and immediately trust me because they have no idea that I jammed their cat's evil detector on purpose.

So we're pretty sure whatever angel made Mochi was drunk on the job and made him backwards.

For starters, Mochi is an absolute slut for attention, especially from strangers. I have to put him in the dog crate of we have anyone working in the house because he will spend the entire time trying to get their attention and laying on top of whatever they're working on for belly rubs and crying like a big baby when you try to move him. As far as Mochi is concerned, anyone who comes to the house is CLEARLY here to pet him and tell him how perfect he is.

Catnip also makes him violent, but specifically to the thing with catnip on it. This is not irrational of him, because his introduction to catnip was catnip-filled toys, which are full of Even More Catnip and easily disemboweled. So now, any exposure to catnip will result in him joyfully attempting to eviscerate the thing that smells like catnip, which is not ideal for human wrists.

I will say that @homunculus-argument 's plan would work on like 90% of domestic housecats. I've employed a similar strategy with previously shy and nervous cats so they are not stressed out by my presence the next time I come visit. It's gotten me the love of my neighbor's two house panthers and my cousin's "Mr.Kitty who hates everyone", but trying to employ the secret catnip trick against my Big Orange Slut Man is going to get you deveined like a shrimp.

Besides, the actual evil detector is the dog.