[Explaining something that changed my brain chemistry irrepairably] it sucks complete ass and you ahould never ever engage with it
comptop is a transmisogynistic dynamic that exists and is good to be aware of, but I don't think the correct response is to assume any given trans woman you encounter is in need of being Saved From Topping
what if you didn't assume what she wants, and instead listened to her as her own woman with her own particular needs and interests
please. can we please not assume out of the gate that she needs to hear the Good News about bottoming, or pathologize her if she does enjoy topping, or make assumptions about her relationships/partners
again, it's good to be aware of comptop, but I don't think this is the right course-correction to make
it's missing the "don't assume, listen to her" forest for the comptop trees
i'm super curious to see what the responses to this are
feel free to put why you do/don't shave your legs, or any other nuances in the tags! reblogs for reach are appreciated :)
Hey.
Don't post online about what protests you plan to attend.
Be safe. Be smart. Don't fall for the weird pressure to liveblog political actions when we live in a surveillance state.
And for fuck's sake, stop posting unredacted pictures of people at protests. It's not a fucking party. It's a political action and you could get someone killed. I have a personal friend who was doxxed and harassed for MONTHS in 2020 after their photo at a protest got passed around by neonazis. Do not be a part of that happening to someone.
btw that trans woman definitely missed out on a lot of experiences her peers had growing up
so invite her. seek her out. include her.
she wants to make new friends but you need to tell her you do too
I hope you know that however long we go without having a conversation, you are still my friend and I love you
the fact that this has consistently been my top post since I made it makes me really happy <3
one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving.
DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU’RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE.
One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly… because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
someone please hit me over the head with this post every day for like the next week thanks. a mention, a reblog with text, a message, something.
Remember to eat, my loves!
That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.
It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.
The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.
It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.
They like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.
They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.
They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.
It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.
Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.
This all makes me very happy to know.
"Video game storytelling isn't literal" is great for when like, an npc the player character lives next to walks up and introduces themselves like you've never met before telling you to press the A button to talk to people, but I do think it gets a bit silly when you've got stuff like WoW saying "well, of course YOUR player character specifically wasn't canonically at all those raids, those were all defeated by anonymous Bands Of Adventurers who may or may not have been you"
The events that happen in this single-player RPG, as presented to you in the literal only piece of media that portrays them, are not canon. Some other version of this story, that we all just collectively imagined, is canon instead. You might think this is fandom quirkyness but no, the sequel explicitly says so.
it's really easy to be kind to girls who are pre-E. it's free. doesn't cost anything. just saying. be kind n all that.